Nine Possible Future Headlines
By Daniel Rigney
Exxon-Mobil Declares Religious Objection to Contraception
Brokered G.O.P. Convention Nominates Koch Brothers
New Law Prohibits Historically Inevitable Santorum Puns
South Carolina Secedes from ‘Too Liberal’ Confederacy
Rick Perry Elected President of South Carolina
Al-Qaeda Declares War on Agnosticism
Romney Wears Faded Jeans to Give Campaign ‘Common Touch’
Houston Astros Renamed Houston Carbons
Budweiser Wins Daytona 500 Following 10-Car Pileup


Salon.com
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