By Daniel Rigney

Here are ten things not to do if you're thinking about getting a tattoo.

1. Find the cheapest tattoo parlor you can, or ask a friend to ink you.

2. If the artist charges by the hour, ask him or her to “hurry it up.”

 3. If you’re adding a new heartthrob’s name to your body, leave all the previous names just for old times' sake.

4. Drink before you ink.

5. Get a tattoo from someone with a nickname like “Carver" or "Shakes."

6.  In the middle of the session, say that you’ve “decided to go in a different direction with this."

 7. Tattoo the surface of an internal organ.

 8. Buy a “do it yourself” tattoo kit.

9.  Find an artist who uses vodka as a sterilizer.

10. Take tips from someone who knows almost nothing about the subject.

For more from this three-day expert, see Skin Story: What I Learned at the Tattoo Show, and Why I'll Always Be Reminded of It,” an on-the-scene report from a major tattoo convention last week.

P.S.: My forehead is healing nicely.