By Daniel Rigney

Comedian Jeff Foxworthy is widely known for his “you might be a redneck” jokes, poking gentle fun mainly at common stereotypes of folks of the rural Southern persuasion.  A quick search reveals that  many others have turned this joke form into a comic formula, making "you might be a(n) x” jokes at the expense of a diverse multitude of constituencies: chemists, bike weenies, Romneys, etc.

Such jokes could  just as well be aimed at those on the far right end of the American political spectrum, whose beliefs and ballots contrive to color their voting precincts fifty shades of red.

I’m suggesting we could use a few good red-state jokes between now and November to throw some light on this dark side of American political life.

They might go something like this ….

You might be a red-stater if you refer to the unemployment rate as the “laziness rate.”

You might be a red-stater if you think Barack Obama is a Kenyan Muslim.

You might be a red-stater if you believe global warming is caused by liberal media.

 You might be a red-stater if you think the Second Amendment protects your right to own grenade launchers.

You might be a red-stater if you take anything Rush Limbaugh says seriously.

You might be a red-stater if you view anyone in a turban as an existential threat.

You may be a red-stater if you get your climate science from the Drudge Report.

You might be a red-stater if you’re still trying to blame Katrina on the Clintons.

You might be a red-stater if you own “his and her” Humvees.

You might be a red-stater if Fox News is your idea of fair and balanced.

You might be a red-stater if you think Mitt Romney is a “self-made man.”

You might be a red-stater if you believe the superrich have suffered long enough.

You get the idea. Do we have any other amateur comedians in the house today?

Danagram as Rimshot the Sitdown Comic