So it's an interesting world we live in.

It took all of a couple weeks after the MS diagnosis for both my wife and I to realize we need to continue the separation process and looking for the duplex.  We've simply gone too far to really turn back time effectively.

There is between us still love and liking; this is definitely good at this point.  At the same time, there's a frustration and needing to move to the next stage of life, to find out what comes next for each of us.  Sometimes we both get frustrated with each other and with it all...

In some ways, the idea of a duplex is even better now, because if I do have a MS flare (which I don't believe I will, not for many years, but you never know), my wife can have the kids upstairs while I heal up.  Likewise if I have a really tiring day and need to catch my breath.  Help is literally 30 seconds away; and at the same time we can both have our independence.

As of now I'm controlling the fatigue with my acetyl l-carnitine; it's working wonders.  That plus the vitamin supplements and more sleep are keeping me going.  I am definitely ready for bed earlier, but that's not necessarily a bad thing. Still, I definitely have lost a great deal of my usual energy, and I'm not able to do as much as normal, at least for now.

The physical portions of the MS are all invisible to others; the fatigue, primarily; then my numb/tingling hand, which I've pretty much successfully reprogrammed in terms of tactile feedfack so I can type almost as fast as I used to, the numb part of my face and tongue that comes and goes, the numb part of my foot. 

Since they're all not evident, I don't have to scare my kids with them, and I can work and function normally, at least externally.  The little things are still more difficult; I don't have the tactile feedback I need to choose ripe fruit well, for example.  Still, I'm just relearning until the day my body catches up and regains its normal function.

The next step is to begin packing up the house.  I've decided to try to do at least one box a night while I'm ill; that way when I regain my strength I can tackle the greater tasks in the house that must be done before we sell it.  There is outdoors painting, bathrooms to be redone, tons of heavy lifting to do.  It'll come.

I'm definitely grateful to my wife for sticking by me with this.  I came home last night to find her reading up on the MS and ordering me a couple specialty items designed to help keep me cool in the summer heat.  (MS patients are notoriously affected by heat; I have always been sensitive to it, now I know why!)  I was truly touched.

However, we can only keep the hold on for so long, and in some small way, it's time to start the moving on process again.  It's already been longer than expected, and I think if she and I ARE to remain good and caring friends and co-parents at the end of it all, it's necessary to feel like we're on the move.

Thanks for listening.

 ds