Alright, I can't resist. You darn OSers have compelled to start laying out some Election Day thoughts. No insight to be provided here, just some good time wackiness that I'm eager to revel in tomorrow.
Note: This probably isn't going to last very long. I shall be rather intoxicated, rather soon. Regardless of the outcome.
All times Pacific!
4:36PM: Things look promising in Indiana.
4:36:01PM: John King, you are growing on me. But you've got a long way to go to usurp the man-crush I have on Chuck Todd.
4:38PM: Time to check which counties are reporting in Virginia. A little scary so far.
4:39PM: Every time Wolf Blitzer says something, I want to hear James Earl Jones voice come in and say "This is CNN: News for Kids". Man. Break it down... a little... slower ... and simpler, Wolf. Yeesh.
4:45PM: Just for the record... I'm predicting a 5-6% win for Obama nationally, electoral college between 320-330 votes.
4:47PM: Ok, that was the cautious prediction a few minutes ago. I'm actually hoping for 353 EVs (Florida, Ohio, Nevada, Colorado, New Mexico, North Carolina and Virginia.)
4:49PM: Brian Williams says South Carolina goes for McCain. I propose we rename it The Evil Carolina. Just kidding! Or not!
4:55PM: Luke Russert is sort of like the Bindi Irwin of the political world. Is that insensitive? I'm not trying to be (Luke is ok and his dad was obviously great), but there's something offputting about his presence on the tube. Hmm. I haven't even started drinking yet. Might be time to loosen up a bit.
4:57PM: Eight minutes after NBC, Wolfington Blitzmeister calls South Carolina for McCain, though he currently trails Obama 44%-55%. Mathematics!
4:59PM: CNN's Jeffrey Toobin explains "We will never make a projection in a state based on exit polls if it's all likely to be close."
5:01PM: Aiyeeee!!!! Calling every state at once! Can't type fast enough! Obama is President of New England! Brady's knee magically heals!
5:03PM: Flordia goes to George W. Bush. Hey, wait.... what? Jeb! Knock off the shenanigans!
5:05PM: Rachel Maddow, "We have yet to hear about a state that went for Bush going for Barack Obama. We have yet to see a red state turn blue." Rach, don't bring me down. Please. I still haven't started drinking. Where are all my friends?!
5:08PM: North Carolina is looking crazy good: McCain 39% (274,636) to Obama 61% (431,991). Only 3% in, though.
5:11PM: NBC has it 103-34 Obama! Pennsylvania! CNN has it still at 77-34. Which to watch? Aargh! Exclamation point!
5:14PM: C'mon, Wolf. Tick. Tick. Tick. Call Pennsylvania you hateful, little man. The only reason I'm on your channel is because I don't get MSNBC is beautiful hi-definition.
5:16PM: I can't tell if I hate Google's election map widget or I love it.
5:18PM: McCain seems to be underpeforming all over the place, Obama overperforming. Check out Nate Silver of fivethirtyeight.com (who I love, but he has to lose the creepy zombie death stare when he's on Countdown) on Indiana:
Steuben: Kerry 34%, Obama 42%
DeKalb: Kerry 31%, Obama 38%
Knox: Kerry 36%, Obama 54%
Marshall: Kerry 31%, Obama 50%
5:20PM: I think it would be weird for Obama to lose Virginia but win North Carolina. Looking real strong in Florida now, Obama up 53-47, with 30% in.
5:24PM: David Axelrod is on CNN. But I don't care because they WON'T CALL PENNSYLVANIA! Of course, they might have reason not to. What do you know, Blitzer? Confess!
Whew, I might need to slow down a bit. I didn't have lunch today and I'm starting to feel a little woozy. Where are my friends with the booze?
5:26PM: Ok. Until CNN calls Pennsylvania, I'm taking on Wolf. Could the reluctance to call three states NBC called 15 minutes ago because HE HATES BLACK PEOPLE?! He never live down this hysterical, deplorable gem.
5:31PM: Wolf calls New Hampshire for Obama. It's a start.
5:35PM: Brian Williams says Elizabeth Dole has lost in North Carolina. He is handsome and funny.
5:40PM: Alcohol! Pilsner Urquell...um, ok, that'll do I guess. Wait Chuck Todd is getting out his pen...
5:43PM: Wolf calls Pennsylvania! Obama is the President of the World Champion Phillies! Also, Chuck Todd drew a triangle.
5:53PM: Tom Cruise in 'Valkyrie' looks like 'Mission Impossible: 1942". Blecch.
6:03PM: Toss-up North Dakota goes to McCain. I propose we change its name to Slightly-Less-Shitty Dakota. Arizona, too close to call. Take a drink.
6:05PM: Current EV tally 175-70 according to MSNBC. California, Oregon, Washington and Oregon would get Obama to 268. Suh-weet.
6:17PM: New phrase for 2009, "Peace out, cub scout." Thanks, Paul Begala, good looking out.
6:27PM: Obama wins Ohio according to Chuckleton Toddington. It's over. Take a drink! Or seven!
6:49PM: Hmm, posts seem to be slowing down. Must... go... on.
6:51PM: My girlfriend just showed up with the sweetest refrigerator magnets ever. This beats the shit out of that crappy magnet poetry.
6:54PM: NBC just ran a twelve second Tim Russert slideshow. Next polls close in six minutes!
6:56PM: Nate at 538 called the whole shebang for Obama! Eleven minutes ago! I must be slipping in my old age!
7:01PM: Iowa! O-V-E-R! Mormons go for McCain. Let's see if the dollar dollar bills they spent on Prop. 8 pay off. And hope that it didn't.
7:08PM: My liveblog is getting a lot of attention right now. I'm officially ignoring my friends. (chuckle chuckle from the peanut gallery)
7:20PM: Stewart and Colbert are better than you. And better than Brokaw. Shameless plug: 'Better Than Brokaw' is the name of my new rap album. It drops on Inauguration Day and completely sucks. Represent!
7:25PM: Steve Forbes, we miss ye. You're kind of a hottie. Just me? Ok, then.
7:42PM: Just had a sweet, celebratory pizza break.
7:46PM: Thanks for the cover, Kerry! P-R-E-S-S-U-R-E! Take a drink!
7:50PM: On to Prohibition brand beer... the neck bottle sports a set of shifty eyes. I feel like drawing Joe Lieberman's face around it. "I don't know where to get my caucus on!"
7:51PM: Larry and Wyatt are taking over the Comedy Central shows. Heeee-sterical.
7:53PM: My brother just rolled in with 5 more people. This is officially a party. I'm still live blogging. Ostracization to commence shortly.
7:58PM: The youth loves the Comedy Central. I'm 30. I am dying for NBC right now.
8:00PM: Breaking News! CNN calls it!
8:01PM: I can't believe I'm still typing! Chills! Hope! Everyone's going nuts! If only I lived in a liberal city!
8:03PM: Un-be-fucking-leive-able! Tears! My brother calls it, "This is just like Wii Vote!"
8:04PM: We've switched to Fox News! I hate Brit 'Herman Munster' Hume! People in the street our shouting their heads off!
8:06PM: Roland Martin is crying on CNN. Emotions flaring up in the Pigeon Exploder apartment.
8:11PM: 55 in the Senate, but it's gonna be tough road to 60. Does Pelosi withstand Cindy Sheehan (I think so) and does Prop. 8 get shot down (please let it happen)?
8:13PM: In a completely non-racist (hey we're all super-liberal San Franciscans!) we flipped over to BET. Commercial! Dammit!
8:19PM: My friends! McCain speaks. They're still BOOING!
8:20PM: Just African-Americans, John? Let's see the big picture, Mac.
8:23PM: 56 in the Senate! McCain is getting his heartfelt on. Props.
8:25PM: Bible Spice! McCain, "Let me officially hand the keys over to you, good luck." Have fun battling Mitt, Pawlenty, and Jindall. One of you is going to get their (designer Prada) hat handed to you in 2012.
8:28PM: More booing at the mention of Obama-Biden. Let's wrap it up, John.
8:30PM: Franken is hanging tight at 42-42. Did anyone watch 'Stuart Saves His Family"? This guy needs to be in the Senate!
8:33PM: Florida! Fuck you The Year 2000!
8:35PM: Oprah! Stedman! Please welcome Liz Lemon!
8:42PM: Still awaiting the critical 3 EVs from Alaska. Intense.
8:45PM: There are eleven other people in my apartment. I'm the worst host ever. No one seems to care.
8:47PM: I'm hoping Barack walks out with Bill Ayers and Rev. Wright. Gotcha, America, you've just been punked!
8:49PM: Fun fact! I've passed the 270 threshold equivalent in my alcohol intake... posts to cease shortly.
8:56PM: Tick. Tick. Tick. C'mon Barack! Also, three-way tie in hotness. Harold Ford just threw his hat into the ring and shoots past Chuckleton. Forbes still leads.
8:58PM: Barry and family!
9:01: Shout out to those non-disabled. Big ups!
9:05PM: Shout out to Plouffe! We need to turn his last name into a verb.
9:17PM: The damn puppy thing made me cry in front of all my friends. The cutaway to the White House? Awesome. Biden!
Okay, that's four and a half straight hours of blogging. Time to hit the local bar and call in sick tomorrow. Talk to ya soon, OS. You've got me through the ups and downs of these past few months. It's greatly appreciated. Really looking forward to see what everyone brings over the next few days. Let's all get our hope on.When I say Barack... you say Obama! Barack!...