Oh, CNN: News For Kids, how I love thee. On to the fixing!
1. Get Wolf Blitzer on amphetamines. I know Wolf made his bones during the first Iraq War, any chance there's some lingering shell shock? Speed...it... up... Wolfmeister. My entire brain is intact today, Blitznation, so feel free to dish out more than seventeen words a minute.
2. Detox Rick Sanchez off of Twitter. And Facebook. And MySpace. I turn to the news channels to hear responsible reporting on current affairs, not what Lionel from Schenectady has to say about nuclear proliferation in the Middle East. I don't mind checking in with the common man every now and then, but dammit Rick don't turn to it every segment and don't be so darn amped about it. It's really not a technological breakthrough, six year olds are tweeting right now. Get over it. (Quick check on the Vegas odds of Rick Sanchez eventually taking over 'News Hour with Jim Lehrer'... 33,687,291 to 1. Feels right.)
3. How about a little filtering on the news scroll at the bottom of the screen? Actually saw this last month...
The good - 'Hillary Clinton heads to South Korea'
The bad - 'Men see bikini-clad women as objects, psychologists say'
Wow. Good to know. Now if only Wolf could read that headline to me, one... word... at... a... time.
And time!
Nine minutes on CNN, three hours on the farce that is Glenn Beck. Seriously need to hone those time management skills.


Salon.com
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