As a blogger who writes about the digital economy for magazines like EContent and Information Today, I’m always interested when new revenue models arise that seek to monetize bits and bytes. So when a Midlife Mixtape reader in Hong Kong recently contacted me with a request to see Die Antwoord play in San Francisco and then write a concert review, I immediately realized: this is the money tree I’ve been wanting to plant.
See, there is no way in hell I would go see Die Antwoord, South African pioneers of Zef rap, play a show of my own volition, especially not after seeing this video of “I Fink U Freeky” which is so weird that I felt uncomfortable embedding it in this post. If you aren’t brave enough to click through let me shorthand it: phallic nose attachments (or maybe that’s an elephant trunk, I wasn’t going to look any closer,) rats on naked ladies, Betty Boop-voiced rapping, hillbilly dental work. But if someone were to PAY ME for a custom concert review? I would even get Die Antwoord lead singer Ninja’s hairdo.
So I am proud to announce a new cash-cow initiative here on the blog. Ladies and Gentlemen, I bring you Midlife Mixtape Membership Madness! Five levels of premium content to enable you to customize your blog reading experience. One of them is bound to suit you!
- Free ($0/year): Enjoy the same (arguably) premium content you are getting from the blog now, with all its highs, lows, and sideways. Basically at the Free level you are subject to my literary and musical whims, which include but are not limited to: attending a Harry and the Potters Concert and making you read about it, publicly working out my issues with aging, and having conversations with inanimate objects. I will continue to write about my dog.
- Bronze Level ($500/year): I will superimpose a photo of you onto the “Grab My Button” widget, plus I will grab your button when I next see you in person. Bronze level members will also be name-dropped you in a concert review, e.g. “It was a great show! The only thing that would have made it better would be if [INSERT NAME] had been there too. [INSERT NAME] has even better hair than the lead singer!”
- Silver Level ($1000/year): I will wrap my car in the album cover of your choice, and will sing one of that band’s songs the next time I go to a karaoke bar. Video will be posted on YouTube. I will cease using the word “awesome.”
- Gold Level ($5000/year): You may select up to three concerts that you would like me to attend and review on your behalf, although I retain two vetos to exercise at my choice so I don’t find myself at Yanni or Kenny G. I will use Puffy Paint to write your name on the back of my denim jacket. Instead of writing about imaginary conversations with my dog, I will write about imaginary conversations with yours.
- Platinum Level ($10,000/year): You can come to Family Camp.
So pick up the phone – operators are standing by to help you choose your level!