Have you ever just gotten tired of pretty much everything all at once?

I used to be a single mom. I had my parents "help" as in they ran my life in one way or another by using my son to do it.

Then I started dating my HS Sweetheart. At first everything was all peaches and cream. Now. Eh, I'm not so sure.

I feel like I belong in that book/movie, "He's Just Not That Interested".

I mean we've been together for four years maybe a little more. He asked me to marry him. I'm still waiting. 

I orignally had the date picked, guest list done, all picked, time picked etc. Then when I wanted to make the deposit on the hall he freaked out. Couldn't do it blah, blah,blah. So we stayed together and I waited.  Still waiting.

He still tries to dangle the carrot every now and again. I suppose, I'm supposed to get all swoony and "Oh he loves me he wants to marry me" but those feelings only last for so long before you just smile and say yeah whatever. Then of course he gets insulted. Because I have no reaction.

Honestly, what can you expect after 4 years of hearing the same thing with nothing to show for it?

I tell him, pick the date, set it up, I'll show up with a dress. Knowing full well it will never really happen.  Because honestly, at this point I'm not really sure I even want to bother with it anymore.

All he does is complain. I feel like I'm back under my parents thumb. You don't do this good enough, you kid doesn't "pull his share" blah, blah, blah. Every month it's the same thing like a broken record.  Never do enough and when you do it's not good enough. Never "listens" to what I say, just hears it and reacts to it.

I love the man, some part of me still does anyway. Now there's this part that just isn't so sure any more. That's tried of the broken promises and the complaints about how I'm supposed to "teach my son responsibility" while his credit sucks, he doesn't pay his bills on time and almost gets fired from work once a week because he can't just keep his mouth shut and go and earn his damn pay check. 

 I'm supposed to just sit quietly and listen to his crap and when I explain why things are the way they are, I'm blaming him. It's all his fault, oh,boo who! For every action, there is a reaction. Sorry. 

If you tell my kid he doesn't put the dishes away right every day for a year, don't sit and wonder why he's stopped doing it. It shouldn't take a rocket scientist to figure that one out.

Then he gets mad because I don't "include" him when I "correct" my son. Why should I, it turns into a bash the kid session on his end and my son ends up feeling badly about himself. Correcting someone, doesn't mean you have to make them feel like shit. Sorry. There's a right and wrong way to talk to people and when I try to tell him how to do it, I'm asking him to "kiss the kid's ass!" Hey I'm just asking you talk to him and treat him a little better then you do the damn dog.

Sorry, had to vent. Relationships are a pain in the ass sometimes and sometimes I remember why I stayed single for so damn long. It's always about someone else and there's never any comprimise. Everything has to go their way and it never or rarely seems to go yours.