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JULY 22, 2010 2:10PM

The Teenage Boy Diet

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Ever lose a couple of pounds without even trying?  No, me neither, at least not often but strangely that has happened recently.  Don't hate me, mistaking me for one of those people with the metabolism of a hummingbird living on chocolate cake and french fries but never meeting a molecule of cellulite that sticks.  That is not me.

Instead the mystery has a rational explanation.  This weight loss (mere ounces really) has coincided with the arrival from college of my nineteen-year old son.  He's been home for about a month and it dawned on me this morning that the entire household has adopted the teenage boy diet. 

His chowing prowess, combined with that of his two brothers requires a daily trip to the store to re-stock the essentials.    They are at times like a biblical swarm, eating everything in the house.  It also means that they hide things from each other--the last can of coke, a favorite yogurt flavor, the Hershey's Syrup.  I'll find these little treasures secreted at the back of the fridge behind the artichoke hearts where they think the others won't care to look.

That tray of enchiladas?  They left me a sliver.  The Texas Sheet Cake?  Ditto.  It's like magic.  I eat all I want, or all the boys don't eat, and presto, I lose weight.  The upside is that there are plenty of vegetables kicking around and the fruit bowl always has an offering.  The only thing they seem to touch the apples for is to practice juggling.    


© Julia Barr 2010

All Rights Reserved


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Just to say that this is true for girls returning from college too...girls on their own and on a budget that barely includes food...girls who run every day. My beloved girl returned from Dec to May finishing her Masters thesis, and the scene you describe repeated itself every day/week. Totally nodding...thanks ! ;}
Muse--I'm sure you're right. They are growing all the time!
I eat leftovers here at my sons.
Sadly I cooked them so there is no losing weight here..:)
Rated with hugs
It's a lot different with daughters. Our fridge is always full.
It's a lot different with daughters. Our fridge is always full.
brought back memories of when my brother would come home from college. suddenly, all the good stuff was in the house. and no, i'm not bitter. excuse me while I go look for a ho-ho...
Linda, they won't eat leftovers, not that there are many.

Kate, I know, it's not fair. All they have to do is skip a beer or two and they lose ten pounds!

John, I understand. I get ribbed for having half a cookie or half a stick of gum. It really pisses the boys off.

Lemon, HoHo's are good, but why don't they bring back twinkies?
Sounds very familiar! When my kids were little I used to call it The Happy Meal Diet -- where I'd get to eat the pickle, a sliver of bun and a few fries that they didn't eat.
Bellwether, I know what you mean. Embrace the pickle! I always get first call on the "bag fries" too. They have a zero calorie count.
My oldest son ate so much that his siblings came to me, begging for food. I mandated he settle on one food he could eat whenever he liked and promised I'd supply it. For several months, I cleaned the grocery shelves of blueberry bagels...
Mark, I see you know where I'm coming from.

Stacye, And then suddenly they'll go "off" that particular food and stop eating it! You're stuck with two dozen blueberry bagels going stale!
This is so true. It works both ways though. I can hide the good stuff where no one will look too. Makes dieting a bitch though.-R-
One day they'll pour Hershey's syrup on the artichoke hearts. That's when you'll know adulthood has arrived.
Christine--So true and so unfair!

Steve--Either that or they've got a serious case of the munchies or--they're pregnant!