DebFeb's Blog
Everyday Observations and Existential Musings
- Location
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Boston, Massachusetts,
- Birthday
- February 27
- Bio
- I'm a writer, editor, diarist, singer, and psychotherapist, working on a 1960s memoir: "Where Is Luv? A Teenager's Diary of Hope, Passion, and Total Confusion." Since 2006, I've been a cast member in the comedy show "Mortified," reading from my angst-ridden adolescent diaries. I facilitate "Write It Like It Is" workshops and groups in the Boston area. ("Debfeb" is a nickname related to my birth month.) Visit http://www.deborahsosin.com/ for more!
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Editor’s Pick
AUGUST 24, 2009 8:03AM
As If Getting Laid Off Weren't Enough
- July 28. Get laid off. Last day August 27.
- Frozen left shoulder. Excruciating pain. Contemplate suicide. See physical therapist. Scream like injured hyena. Contemplate homicide. Regain range of motion. Change mousing hand from left to right.
- Carpal tunnel symptoms in right hand from compensatory mousing.
- Staph infection in sensitive area. Walk like cowboy. First type antibiotic doesn’t work. Doctor lances boil. More copays. Second type antibiotic works but causes nausea, diarrhea, racing thoughts, insomnia.
- Buy farm store lettuce that’s rotten inside. Dig out receipt to save. Notice $2.15 charge for asparagus. Didn’t buy asparagus.
- Take sick day. Work on launching website. Accidentally click on pop-up. Infect computer. Call Norton Symantec help line. Feel helpless. Agree to spend $99.99 for remote repair. Nap while "Sam" controls my computer from Philippines for three hours. Cry.
- Heat rash in sensitive area. Walk like cowboy with cotton stuffed in underwear.
- Find out wonderful, quiet, considerate, cat-sitting, snow-shoveling, grocery-bag-lifting, plant-watering downstairs neighbors are moving out in September.
- Get up 6:30 a.m. on a Saturday to drive 2.5 hours to Tanglewood Music Center to hear pianist Garrick Ohlsson rehearse Brahms. Garrick not scheduled till afternoon. Hear boring morning rehearsal. Family reunion, picnic on grounds. Escape heat and humidity under tree. Note parents’ slower gait and shorter stature. Feel sad. Garrick begins at 3:30. Security asks us to vacate grounds at 4:00. Tell security Garrick is family friend, came to say hi. Listen raptly near stage. Discover beach chairs, backpacks, coolers missing from lawn. Fret. Rush backstage at 4:30. Garrick already gone. Retrieve items at lost and found.
- Go to Shaw’s Market to Xerox Sunday New York Times crossword puzzle by slipping out magazine section then replacing paper, saving $6.00. Copier out of order. Cry while testing for decent cantaloupe.
- Find blood spot near litter box. Call vet. Call wonderful cat-loving neighbor to help me corral Sascha, who darts from under couch and disappears. Check everywhere. Conjure image of vaporized cat. Find Sascha deep inside closet I’d already checked four times. Haul both cats to vet in 92-degree heat. Grateful that shoulder works. Misplace keys in vet’s bathroom. Sascha negative for infection. Sophia needs monitoring, possible antibiotic. Both get complimentary nail trim. Pay $164. Cry. Remember laughter yoga techniques. Laugh. Cry and laugh simultaneously.
- “Check engine” light on dashboard as I pull into office parking lot two hours after cat incident. Go into denial.
- Shared office printer jams while printing out personal essay. Hope nerdy administrator guy doesn’t read.
- Sunglass lens pops out after physical therapy. Nice optician fixes for free.
- Notice clear fluid dripping from under car. Call mechanic. Told not to worry, “check engine” could mean one of 182 things. Make appointment for August 31. Pray.
- TGIF! Hunker down for baseball. Red Sox undefeated against Yankees at Fenway this year. Red Sox lose 20-11.
- Saturday morning yoga class for first time in weeks. Community center freshly painted and floors shellacked. Stay near window. Inhale toxic fumes. Get buzzing headache.
- Hunker down to edit new website. Get Google “Oops” message for six hours. Change from Internet Explorer to Firefox. Problem solved.
- One of my soon-to-be-ex-bosses calls at 8:40 a.m. Sunday. Flew in from California. Credit card embargoed by hotel for unknown reason. Asks me to drive to downtown Boston and loan her $100 till Monday. Contemplate homicide. Go to ATM. Drive to Boston. Give her $120. Feel virtuous.
- Car stalls out on way to Shaw’s for puzzle and groceries. Conjure image of waiting for AAA in heat and humidity. Car restarts. Avoid buying perishables.
- Cook nonperishable dinner. Get indigestion. Drop Tums in cats’ water bowl.
- Reminder call from dentist. Two crown preps on August 28. “Bring $800 down payment.”
- Search Internet (using Firefox) for How to File an Unemployment Claim.
- Email this essay to Mom and Dad. Mom replies: “Fact or fiction? Is all that really true? With the infections and the cats? What a disastrous tale of woe. Are you OK? Concerned, Mom xoxoxox Love you.”
- Email Mom: “Yes, it's true. I’m fine. Don’t worry. Looking forward to new horizons. xoxo."
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Comments
I hope you got your $120 back!
Great work.
(looks around nervously, edges slowly out of room)
In all seriousness, though--youch! Rough few days. But just think how awesome it'll be when you hit the upside of the cycle again.
And, yeah, in my experience, bad things happen in clumps. I never lost a job without losing a boyfriend, a pet, a car, my health, or all of the above within a week of being unemployed.
The "check engine" light: My guess since it stalled and re-started is that the last time you bought gas the attendant didn't make the gas cap click a few times. The car stalled when a vapor lock occurred. Disconnect negative battery cable for 10 minutes. Re-connect. Check engine light will be off. Re-set clock and radio stations. Change gas stations. Place black electrician's tape over spot on dashboard where check engine light shows.Don't peak again.
Clear liquid was your air conditioner condensation. It means it works ! Ta-dah
Great list.
Change your list to Positive Affirmations, Law of Attraction, Manifest the good......
When everything falls apart it's ALWAYS the silliest things that start the waterworks, no? Let it out. And know that there is a woman weeping in Georgia who feels your pain. :)
Oh, and good thoughts flying to you - at least your sense of humor is intact!
~rocco and rusty
Hope the well-deserved EP and cover is just the beginning of a long streak of good luck. Really funny post, and one many of us can relate to.
"Give me a break. Blame Obama if you are having a crappy day. Suck it up."
Ahh...motherly love.
Got my $120 back plus tolls. :-)
Stay safe, everyone. Things have got to get better!