Now that Mighty Joe Young has been welcomed into the family, I find that our (and by that I mean my) life is now dedicated to socializing him and training him so that we (and I mean I) will not have our lives run by a 5 lb. animal. Stranger things have happened, believe me! See Lisa Kerns blog, for example.

Now Mighty Joe came our way since Big Daddy did not want to pay big bucks for a purebread dachshund or a cavalier king charles spaniel or a shitz'u. We hit up the Honolulu SPCA and they have such a well run ship that the majority of their dogs were all adopted and the very few left were large and part pitbull. Uh. Nope. We already have Maile the wonderful Australian Cattle dog who didn't get a vote in the new puppy decision. I want a small dog, one that clickety-clacks around the house behind me, bringing joy and happiness. I know, that's a lot of pressure.

Anyhoo! Big Daddy goes to work one day and in the construction trailor there is a 4 lb. black dog dodging and weaving between big men in work boots stomping around. He is fearless. He doesn't even blink. He's not really housetrained. Perfect! Big Daddy inquires as to the owner of said puppy and his colleague says, "He's mine. Do you want him?" 30 minutes later, armed with a 4 lb. 1/2 fox terrier, 1/2 chihuahua, a huge bag of puppy food and a well-chewed red food bowl, Mighty Joe comes home.

First things first. Maile is introduced and doesn't immediately eat him. Hurray! He runs around and pee's and poops everywhere. He is a peeing and pooping machine. I immediately have PTSD flashes of my son as an infant. But too late now! I name him Tiki Barber, as was the plan. The next day my husband calls me at work and says, "His name is mighty Joe Young. He's not afraid of anything." He steals the rawhide out of Maile's mouth!! Is he insane?

So that Joe can become a functioning member of society [unlike my teenage son currently] there's a whole lot of training that needs to be done. I know this. My book called "The Perfect Puppy" tells me so. Here are some of the socialization exercises I must take him on, places and people he must be exposed to:

young adults middle aged adults elderly people disabled infirm loud confident people shy timid people delivery people joggers people wearing uniforms people wearing hats people with beards people wearing glasses people wearing motorcycle helmets.

[You do see where this is going, don't you? I can't possible work at my job AND socialize the puppy.]

babbies toddlers juniors teenagers dogs-adults dogs-puppies cats small pets ducks livestock horses friends house shopping center park outside a school outside a childrens play area countrywalks garage sales restaurants slippery floors party vets.

You get the picture. This dog will be better socialized than I ever was. Which explains a lot.

I've taught him how to "come!" and how to "sit!" I'm working on "stay". He barks at my teenager. He actually growls at night when you try and take his chew bone away from him. This is considered very bad and must be dealt with immediatley. We take his bone out of his mouth and give it back and take it out and give it back and he is not allowed to growl. You can see how I might be getting behind on my reading. But all of this must be done and must be done now! so that he grows into a dog who is secure and happy and doesn't attack teenage boys groins if they come into your house.

I'd love to stay and chat. Really! But I must take Mighty Joe into the backyard and play with him, and train him. And then socialize him some more to bicycles, motorbike, skateboards, wheelchairs, traffic....and now we know we CAN blame our parents for our little quirks and idiosyncracies (and by that I mean annoying personality disorders) because they didn't socialize us as children. Farewell non-pet owners! I'll send pictures!