Now that Paula Abdul is stepping down from her place in Idol royalty, the best woman to replace her is Courtney Love.
Courtney, lead singer and lyricist for the band "Hole" is perfect for the role. She's an anorexic, recovering drug addict, 45 year old alternative rocker who plays guitar and bass guitar. She a boarding school alumnus who was rejected by the Mickey Mouse club when she auditioned for them by reading a poem by Sylvia Plath. She's a trust fund baby who worked as a stripper in Portland, OR. She helped create the "kinderwhore" style: dirty babydoll dresses, plastic hairclips, ripped stockings, smeared makeup.
She says she bonded with future husband Kurt Cobain over "pharmaceuticals" and has been in and out of rehab. She and Cobain were married for 2 years and had a toddler when he shot himself to death.
Courtney, you're the perfect replacement for Paula. Rock on!
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Nikki Stern
BuffyW
Sally Swift
Lainey
Kathy Knechtges
odetteroulette
Salon.com
Comments
The replacement definitely should be a music star with a big personality. My choice is GENE SIMMONS from KISS.
She's the complete package: she's a washed-up celeb, unpredictable, has the train-wreck thing going for her, trailer-trashy, tawdry, scandalous...
I want to see contestants try to concentrate on singing while Tonya "whack heard 'round the world" Harding is pacing around with a cudgel or a hubcap in her hand!
Emma: she worked as a stripper in Canada too? She gets around!
Nick: I have a crush on Gene Simmons.
Nanatehay: Exactly why I chose her!
Don: We can't have Paris! Too many of us would never watch it then!
Fins: But can Tonya sing? Yet she does have the alcoholism going for her...
Arrrggghhhh! They're considering Victoria Beckham! Say it ain't so!