oy. Kids, kids, kids.

Thanks for the weight loss tip! Just teasing.

Kids.

what ...no tattoos?

I hear you. My daughter;s bell ybutton ring got infected, so we took her to the local emergency toom. She scremaed in pain because the doctor didn'yt use enough lidacaine. Now she has 2 tattoos, and a nose ring which, although not infected, makes that side of her nose red.

I don't get this at all.

Rated

I feel your pain and am glad that I'm not feeling his physical pain. Apparently my oldest is set on a tattoo so her dad finally arranged an appointment with a tattoo artist for a discussion etc. I had just said no,no, and no again and his philosophy is that she will do it anyway so it might as well be done safely. My students with tongue piercings tend to lisp a little even after it is all healed and I don't get why that is an asset.

You probably maintainedyour composure better than I would have at this discovery ;0)

The thing that a lot of people don't know is that there is a major vein in your tongue that if nicked while piercing, can be a very dangerous situation in piercing parlour. Tongue piercings are also horrible for your teeth. I guess the good news is that piercings can be taken out. My niece got her nose pierced and it kept getting infected so she finally just took it out. I imagine that if your son goes to college, his piercings won't be so "cool" there, and they will disappear.

I don't get it either, which may be why teens want to do it. Fortunately, mine didn't, which no doubt saved us many hours of spirited discussion. Their interest in facial piercings and tattoos was averted by their father's commitment to do the same, which of course they would have found mortifying. The threat was credible because he's had an earring for as long as they can remember.

I officiated at a wedding earlier this summer, and when the third bridesmaid reached the bower and turned back to watch the bride, I discovered that she had, above her very lovely strapless dress, a big flower on each shoulder, bracketing the 4" letters FUCKU. I was very, very thankful to be the parent of *another* of the bridesmaids.

I did a dissertation on piercing and tattooing and woo hoo! We all want to mark ourselves as being different, but seems we all do it in the same way. Hmm. I was much more liberally-minded until my daughter got a nose piercing and pink hair. Fortunately she cannot decide on a tattoo or I'd be trying to suck that one up too.

This gives a whole new meaning to "better than a poke in the eye".

I let my oldest get a belly button ring. She was about 16 and as we entered the parlor I was really nervous because the young guy seemed like he had been smoking something besides cigarettes. I survived and my daughter is now 20, and making me very proud.

My youngest daughter is at the top of her class... and no one would have guessed that she wanted to dye her beautiful brown hair blonde- until she did. Now, it is a constant struggle to keep it from looking too gold or orange...and the dark roots are growing in.

I consider these compromises something that are a necessary part of life. I justify them by thinking that it could be a lot worse. So, of your son makes good grades, and opens the door for you (is respectful)...you could try to get used to it. I know it won't be easy.

Anyway, he looks like a keeper (even with the metal sticking out of his face.)

At least it's not permenant tattoos.
Piercings close.

rated

If it's any consolation, this isn't nearly as bad as what his kids will come of with to freak him out!

Interesting that his ears don't appear to be pierced. Man, whatever happened to dying your hair green or playing terrible guitar to make a statement? :) Of course although I waited until I was off the dole to get my body mods, I suppose I have little room to talk. Haha! Maybe I'm the only one thinking this, but barring the risk of infections and the judgment of others, I'd be most concerned that Dad whisked him off to get pierced without a discussion with Mom. Or maybe Dad didn't realize what Son was up to and Son basically made Dad complicit (by doing it on Dad's watch) in the undermining of mom's authority. I guess I'd be most irritated that he hadn't sucked it up and tried to make his argument to me directly. Other than making him take them out, I guess what's done is done.

PS--he should be able to eat soft foods like eggs/mashed potatoes as well?

So far so good, my two year old has shown no interest, but if he did, I'd point him to these sites...

http://www.painfulpleasures.com/piercings_gone_bad.htm

http://www.geeked.info/ten-piercings-gone-bad/

http://healthwise-everythinghealth.blogspot.com/2009/01/when-ear-piercings-go-bad-keloids.html

All I can say is, "ouch".

When I was in the eighth grade (1993) belly-button piercing existed, but had yet to reach rural Indiana. I'd never heard of such a thing until one day when all the eighth-grade cheerleaders got together at a slumber party and pierced their belly buttons with sewing needles. If I remember correctly, the Baptist preacher's daughter Christy was the instigator.

Anyway, word got out about the cheerleaders' piercings, and by the end of the first day back in school they'd all been called into the principal's office, and had their parents called, and sent home from school for the day, and there was talk about whether they should be suspended from the cheerleading squad, and there was an announcement over the PA system about how we could get into trouble at school for doing something like this, and there much wailing and gnashing of teeth.

I remember thinking that this was quite possibly the stupidest event I'd ever seen. The girls were idiots for sticking safety pins through their navels, but they did it off school grounds at a slumber party, it wasn't illegal, and the worst that could have happened was someone's belly button would have gotten infected. I remarked to the gym teacher that this wasn't any of the school's business, and got the YOU DON'T THINK IT'S A BIG DEAL?!?!?!?!? YOU THINK IT'S OK TO STICK NEEDLES INTO YOUR FRIENDS' BELLYBUTTONS? THAT'S WHY WE'RE THE GROWNUPS AND YOU'RE THE CHILDREN! lecture. (BTW, I wasn't a cheerleader or even friends with any of them, and I had no desire to get anything pierced, but if they wanted to be idiots and stick pins in their stomachs, I really didn't care.)

I'm now older than my gym teacher was then...and I still don't see what the adults were getting all worked up over.

I've often told my 15 year old that he can get a tattoo anytime he likes....but... BUT... I get to pick what it's of, and where it goes. I've spent many hours when he's trapped in the car, musing aloud of exactly what I'd have tatted on him where. Current favorite is a pink and purple unicorn on his Adam's apple.

oh man! kids today! if you can, find the clip of reno 911 where they ALL got their tongues peirced. it is hilarious. have him watch that, and maybe he will let the tongue ring go...

not looking forward to those teenage years, myself.

tequila, i just got to your comment. that is a really fun idea. i hope i remember it when my turn comes.

Oh boy (or boys, or kids, or teens). My sympathy

I didn't think this at the time, but when my kids were at that point all I had to worry about was drugs and alcohol and drugs and drugs. Relatively fortunate. I hope their outstanding upbringing will get passed down to their kids.

And as an OR nurse, all piercings have to be removed prior to surgery. I can't tell you the thrill of removing a bellybutton ring. So far I have managed to escape the replacing. Ewwww.....

I feel for you. I am really glad I won't have to deal with this kind of thing.

You have to draw the line at gauge piercing, though. That takes plastic surgery to correct.

BTW, I would imagine that your son thinks it's pretty cool that you have posted photos of him on your blog, and that all of us "old folks" are reacting negatively. That's probably just the reaction he's going for!

As a 20 year old who now has four piercings, (much to my father's great dismay,) I urge all parents to calm down!
The first time my nose was pierced, the needle didn't feed through the piercing tube correctly, and after I could see blood, I nearly fainted. The piercer assured me it would heal alright, and if I was willing to return, he'd give me the piercing at a discount. After a week of mustering up the courage, I redid it, and I'm so glad I have.
I am a junior in college, studying a major that I love, but that doesn't always allow me to work in "piercing friendly" environments. I wouldn't call my piercings a fad, but as a parent, my own father has been relaxed by the fact that my passion for my college work and studies definitely means more to me than the preservation of a small hole in my face.
Age doesn't grow you out of the piercings, but maybe a passion might?

I've never understood the desire to get pierced on odd places. Makes me grateful I don't have kids. I just get to hear about my friends' kids.

Good luck. Hopefully he'll outgrow this phase without any lasting damage.

Deborah - Congrats on the Editors Pick!! My sons and daughters are all grown now, so I can say this with some certainty - this too shall pass. My youngest daughter got her belly-button pierced - it got infected, she took it out. She got a tattoo on her back, got a staph infection from that. My eldest son had his tongue pierced for a while, but it's gone now (the piercing, not the tongue.) He has two tattoos - one on his side under his arm (in honor of a friend who died) and one on his wrist like a bracelet - it's writing - the motto for our family crest. My youngest son got a tattoo - a big, ass skull with roses on his left upper arm - did it on his 21st birthday. His tattoo is actually kind of pretty (as tattoos go.)
They're all functioning members of society now and behave like grown-ups - most of the time. Just know that your son is just doing the teenage individuality thing and he'll grow out of it. Those piercings have got to be irritating. (to him, I mean; I know they are to you.) :-)

WUS: Yes, this is a good way to lose that 10 lbs. that keeps hanging on.
I don't understand piercings and tatoo's except that I think they are this generations rite of passage as we don't have any, any more. [Except for the bar/bat mitzvah]
Dorinda: I have maintained my composure but I'm not helping him in any way. I was the "good" parent with the lip piercing; he asked me to pay today for the new replacement piercing for his tongue: I said No, I never wanted you to have a tongue piercing.
Voicegal: True. I'm lucky there were no complications.
JLee: Yes, I look forward to the day he pulls out his piercings and they close. And I REALLY don't want any tatoo's.
Yakkygirl: Thank God your 2 year old has shown no interest yet. Wait for when s/he turns 3 tho!
Leeandra: I hear you but it's just different when it's your own kid.
Tequila: Genius! I will try that!
Jeannette: Thanks for checking in. My son does not read my blog nor does he know about this one. You're right. I wouldn't want to reward him for the 2 new piercings.

Everyone: thanks for feeling my pain. We're still not out of the woods yet with the tongue. Arrrgggghhhh!

I'm not there yet... my oldest is 11. But I know this is coming.

I'm hoping to take a page from a good friend's book (she has two daughters, one in college and one in high school). Her way of dealing with the teen body self-expression thing was to let her girls do ANYTHING they wanted (and I mean anything) with their hair. One had a purple streak for a while. One changed her hair color every month for a year. They've had mohawks, they've had rainbow streaks, they've had rat tails and dreadlocks and asymmetrical cuts and everything else you can think of. But it's just hair. It's not permanent. It grows out, you can cut it off, and change your mind again. And who cares? It's high school.

My son (11) wants some kind of longish cut where his bangs nearly hang in his eyes. Whatever. My daughter (9) wants to grow hers out like Rapunzel. My only requirement is that they comb or brush it, wash it, and don't look like they're homeless.

And... I hope this works. That when they start begging for piercings or tattoos, I can take them to the hairstylist instead.

I hear you. both my sons had gotten piercings when they were teens. I was mortified. this was back in the 80. I too wondered who would hire them and worried about the people who would consider what they had done mutilation.

I'm happy to report, they're both executives and have risen to a level of achievement I never imagined.

Maybe it's the professions they've chosen, but for each of them, they removed the earrings, the holes closed up, you can still see where they were pierced but everyone ELSE they work with had been pierced. or tattooed. or body modified in some way. and then they too removed their piercing. or not.

This is a different world. The world they become adults in, is that much different than this one in this moment. It all keeps changing, keeps morphing into this or that.

I know what you're saying, but you have to accept that there are things they will do that will affect them and their lives for the rest of their life and that they will either have to live with their decision, or will have to do something about it themselves, when they can.

But I feel you. Yes I do.

Aside from the piercings, your son is very good looking. I guess they can come out and this too shall pass....

My co-pastor has a nose ring, multiple ear piercings and many tattoos. We are non-stipendiary (meaning not paid for being clergy) so all of us have secular "day jobs." He is a court officer. When he goes to work, he takes out his metal and covers the tattoos with his uniform. No biggie. Yes, I think the piercings are really ugly, but I know they don't interfere with his ability to make a living. Just one example...

10+ years ago, while a student in college, I got my tongue pierced. To my delight it made people go, "Wow, cool!" or, "Ew!!!" After a few months I chipped a tooth on the stupid barbell, but despite that I still didn't remove it until the night before my first professional interview. He'll remove it eventually. In the meantime you might want to upgrade your dental insurance : ).

Not in my house!!!!!! Not ever!!!!!

Oh, I hear ya. I don't like the piercings either. I just didn't (and still don't) get what the school's business was getting all up in this business, considering it wasn't illegal, particularly dangerous, and happened off school grounds and outside of school hours.

A phone call home--do you know what your daughter did?--if the school officials were really worried about this would have been sufficient. I wasn't sure what the whole threat to suspend them from the squad and threatening the rest of the student body with school punishments if we did something similar was all about.

Kinda made me wanna stick a pin through my own navel so that they'd call MY mom, who would give the school holy hell if they tried to punish me for something stupid I did outside of school.

I'm an adult male considering a belly-button ring. Should I do it? I'd maybe need to groom my stomach hair so the piercing didn't get lost in the foliage. Also I could lose some belly fat. Damn getting piercings is cool though.

My oldest is only 11. Rather than living in terror that this will be me someday, I am going to reflect on When Knots wise words and hope for the best. Keep us posted on the tongue.

I don't think kids realize what a big responsibility piercings are. My 15 yo cousin really wanted a navel piercing so I told her how much work mine was and what's involved. She changed her mind. I have my tongue pierced, but I got it done when I was an adult and could take care of myself. My husband and all of my friends have piercings or tattoos. But we did wait until college. Just wait...our kids will be straight-laced, clean-cut, Republican accountants. ;)

Don't worry about who will hire him. I'm 46 and I have a huge purple streak in my hair; I made it smaller and pink and easier to disappear in the general follicular confusion on my head and last week my client said "Where's the purple? I liked the purple."

Good employers respond to a good attitude, ability and a willingness to work hard. Stuff like outfits and piercings and tats don't matter as much as they used to - sometimes not at all. Microsoft could give a rats ass if you interview in jeans with a parrot on your shoulder, if you have the abilities they want. Same with Google, Apple.....the days of judging people for not fitting into a 50s era trope of how a business person looks are over. He'd have no trouble at all finding a job in Northern California.

I just met an accountant who is covered with tattoos - both arms, her neck, her chest. She's a crack accountant. I could care less what she does with her body.

Sigh. My kid's pink hair continues to fade (now it's kind of orange), and he'd rather not spend the $10 for the coloring stuff to do it again. You're probably in whatever you disagree with he'll do more of territory. If they get infected, well then that's a natural consequence. Is there anything he wants from you? I suppose you could try bargaining. The people I really worry about are the ones with facial tattoos. Where are they going to work? Papua, New Guinea?

lol at least it wasn't tattoos on his face. Piercings can be removed, and they will close and go away if he decides he no longer wants them (it wasn't a career ending choice by any means). The taking care of them takes some responsibility, which may actually be a learning experience in maturity for him.

My brother had an eyebrow piercing and worked at Arby's when he was in high school, they made him put a band-aid over it while working.

He's nearly an adult, he's going to make choices you don't like. That's how it works. BTW, you remind me of how my mom reacted when I got my tattoo 10 years ago, and I was already an adult at the time! Body modification doesn't denote bad choices in life per se - I turned out alright lol

It was over thirty years ago that my father picked me up at the RR station for the Thanksgiving break and noticed that I had had my ears pierced. Responding like any bona fide authoritarian right wing parent he told me that I looked like a "goddamn Gypsy" and I was boo hooing by the time we pulled in the driveway. Of course this was just a small tremor in the earthquake that would be my rebellion against parental values.

I got my first tattoo when I was 43 and it probably is not my last. Meanwhile my friend Jeanne who works in law enforcement plans on having her nose pierced when she retires in two years. How many other middle aged women are there who are getting into tattoos and piercings? Are we just marking our passage into cronehood with a little body art? Interesting topic for someone to research.

I love piercings. At various times, I have had my nose, septum, tongue and tragus done. I have none now, except for regular ear lobe piercings, but agree totally with the people who say it's better than a tattoo.

mm, the tongue piercing has got to go, that's an infection waiting to happen, and will make his breath nasty (tell him that). I kind of like the lip and eyebrow though :) He has nice lips and eyes, and this is a macho way to accentuate and draw attention to them.
When he grows up he will let them grow out. I did, anyway. By 27 I was down to just ears pierced once, and rarely wore earrings. It's fun and sexy when you are young, but as you age it looses it's edge. Be thankful they aren't tattoos, those take money to get rid of.

I got my tongue about six years ago. I loved it...I am very oral and it gave me something fun to play with. I was at a dog event and the barbell came apart and fell out into the grass. I was on my knees searching and a few people came over to assist me. Someone asked what we were looking for -- they jumped up in a hurry when I told them! I like piercings and have had quite a few over the years. I'm still saving up for a tattoo.

Incidentally, my teenage kids have only their ears pierced and think I'm a freak for wanting my aging nipples pierced. Oh well.

Froggy: I think that's a great idea to allow them to rebel thru their hair only. I wonder if that would have made a difference. All of his friends are getting pierced tho right now.
NFM: Thanks for the hopeful future, I hope that's mine!
When Knots: Okay, that is calming. Thank you.
Unbreakable: Thanks for making me laugh and feel happy at the same time!
Eva: Good point!
Kim: Lovely. Chipped teeth to look forward to if he doesn't get HEP C before then!
Blackflon: Hmmmm, I said that once too!
Mamoore: I'll keep you posted. It's swollen and sore, hoping no infection.
Gwendolyn: good point on getting these when you're older and can take care of them!
Sandra: that's true. My step daughter is 30 and totally covered in tatoo's and piercings. But she is getting her masters and is a crack roller derby queen.
Hells Bells: Ha! Exactly - are you planning on working in Papau New Guinea?!

Julie is right, piercings are a decorative statment, and your son is actually very good looking in a clean cut way, so his jewelry serves sorta the same purpose as my earrings - I think he looks good! (not that an opinion from someone my age would matter to him!)

Kids today! Back in my days, we'd shoot up on horse tranquilizer and, well, never you mind what we did after that!! :)

Piercings aren't that bad, now when he gets the tats that say, 'Devil's Child --- 888' or whatever, then worry! :)

Rated.

Facial piercings in general -- if you're good-looking you don't need it. If you're plain-looking it doesn't help.

As an officially Cool Dude I can tell your son that his piercings aren't cool. They just look dumb. Really dumb, as in "what the f___ are you doing?" The lip ring looks like he had a really bad day at the orthodontist. The eyebrow stud is reprehensible. The tongue stud is bad beyond description.

What he needs is long hair. With long hair and without metal stuck in his face he would be very cool.

You can quote me on that.

i have to say, jeanette is not correct about the surgery comment. there are limits to stretching where you would need surgery to correct it, and i'm sure the parts pierced are all different with their healing/recovery... but i stretched my ears quite a bit and they are back to the point where i can wear regular studs again, much to my mother's relief.

but i think she makes a great point about rewarding him with attention. body modification is already at least a little addictive, but i would be willing to bet the attention is half the thrill. just ignore him and let him buy his own shakes. and make sure he's using listerine or salt water to fight off infections with oral piercings.

Deborah why can't they just grow their hair long to drive their parents out of their minds, like our generation.

You son is going to grow to look like Hugh Laurie from House.

Just give him a little:

WTF are you trying to look like Blink 182 for...

Way to be ten years ago, dumbass.

I think that I've always thought that I'd rather pick my battles with the kids over other things. I don't really appreciate the piercings and tattoos but it is their body, right? Some of mine do have them, some don't. More importantly, they are all good people. Which I consider much more important than what body parts are tatted and be-jeweled.

I was a pierced teenager with a total of about 20 piercings. I now am a lawyer, and I have since taken most of the piercings out. The great thing about piercings is they are can simply be taken out. Also there are plastic, clear retainers that can be worn for jobs as well.

Do not worry, when it is time to support himself, he will realize that sadly the piercings have to come out for a real job. However, until then, he will enjoy them.

Rated.

I find it difficult to put tattoos and piercings in the same category as the craziness that characterized earlier generations. Mowawks, slung jeans, peroxide streakings and the like were probably signs of protest and pleas for attention, but they didn't involve self-immolation.

I don't see how anyone can avoid the conclusion that tattoos and piercings are indicative of self-hatred, and that's serious business.

The only exception I can imagine is someone who is, for one reason or another, really ugly. Such persons might reasonably come to the conclusion that their presentation to the world can't really be substantially worsened, so why not add some hardware that will cause observers to conclude that it's the furnishings, not the person, that is creating the blight upon the landscape.

Another possible exception is someone who slips a tattoo into an area that only the most curious observer will notice.

Deborah, your very good looking son is not within either of the above exceptions. Far be it from me to advise anyone, much less you, in this area, but if I were a parent faced with this phenomenon, I would have some very professionally assisted conversations about the wonders of a good looking body and the responsibilities of its caretaker.

My middle son (18) has his tattoo already designed and knows where he wants his piercings. I have told him as soon as he can pay for them himself he can do whatever he wants. It's that simple in my world. if you want something that is not required for me to pay for, pay for it yourself and it is yours! But I do agree nice looking son you have there! At least they are tasteful and yes dads let kids do things they shouldn't. Mine let me smoke when I visited. saw no problem with it, sigh.

Sandra: Thanks for pointing out how this situation can be positive, I really appreciate that.
Tinkertink: I told my son this morning: No tatoo's as long as we are paying for your college. When you are fully supporting yourself, you cn get tatooed but not as long as I am supporting you. [good advice from another mother.]
Mishima666: Will pass that on!
Bstrangely: some of piercings must be for the attention you get for wearing them, right? My son doesn't know I blogged about this so I didn't reward him in that way.
OEsheepdog: Hugh Laurie from House? Hotdamn!
EOC: Blink 182 was his favorite band 10 years ago....
Gracielou: you're always my voice of reason.
SC2009: So glad to hear you are a successful lawyer and that this too shall pass!
GordonO: I know, I know.
Lunchlady: No tatoo's until he is completely on his own taking care of himself. I've learned from this blog: piercings can be taken out; tatoo's are forever! I told him that this morning.

Thanks everybody for creating a bridge to get me from one piercing to 3. It takes a village to absorb teenage piercing.

This could turn out to be one of those nature provides its own consequences and mom doesn't need to say a word...or become Nurse Nancy...better for him to just suffer through this on his own! And get extra job to pay for mom's therapy! You are a good mother and a good sport, form the sounds of it.

Oh boy. This piece really tickled me, I hate to say. Your kid has got his "rebel" on...you can see it in his eyes. It's a good thing - I swear!

"It seems like only yesterday that just his lip was pierced." Too funny.

Last line, priceless way to end this piece.

Oh it took a full year to heal my only piercing (other than ears, I have a navel pierced.) It was HELL. I thought, where's the coolness in a big, infected pussy (I mean that in the non-vagina way) naval infection?

But then it healed and now I'm cool again...thank god.

as a 33 yr old woman who has had or still has many many piercings and tattoos i thinks all parents should also calm down. really i understand he is young and whatnot but really, its a piercing, it comes out...i have many many visable tattoos and i dont regret them at all. and maybe its just me but shouldnt parents be more worried about kids doing drugs and drinking and smoking? i fully understand and support your blog and your concern...its more the fact that everyone is so appaled by the fact that this kid has his lip pierced...what about his grades in school or how he treats other people or his respect for his mother or father or family in general?? arent those the things that are truely important??

First time on Salon & thankfully I found your post. My son (15) just got his septum pierced. Ugh, ugly. But he's over the moon happy about it. This is in addition to the piercings in each ear which he has stretched himself. The piercer apparently told him he was a crazy b..terd for choosing the septum. Sounds like I don't need to worry too much about it...he's pretty responsible in terms of taking care of himself. I was a bit concerned shortly after he had it done when he said his front teeth were hurting. I'm guessing temporary pain/shock.