Patti Smith lived the life I almost lived. Had I been more artistic, less afraid, less cautious, more cutting edge. 

She published her memoir in 2010: "Just Kids." The title of her book is based on a remark made by a husband whose wife begged him to take Patti Smith's and Robert Mapplethorpe's picture in NYC one day. She thought they were artists. He said no, they're just kids. Oh how wrong he was.

At age 19 in the early 60's she accidently got pregnant, gave birth, gave the baby up for adoption and moved to New York City to be an Artist. She had no place to stay so during the day she walked the parks and streets and at night she slept on doorsteps. She starved. She looked for work. She lived for her art. She and Robert Mapplethorpe who walked an identical path as she did [in cosmic serendipity] met up, pooled their money, became room mates, became lovers.

He later realized his attraction to men and morphed into a famous and infamous international photographer. They remained best friends until the day he died.

They refused to compromise on their artistic visions. They could barely sit still, let alone work a "normal" job. These were the years before A.D.D. diagnoses and ritalin "cures." Unlike Kurt Cobain, who blamed his drug addiction on the fact he had been on ritalin since age 7, Patti and Robert were able to live their lives free of pharmaceutical straight-jacking. She drank coffee during her NY years; he dropped acid.

They lived frugally, took jobs when they could and by living their vision they ended up rubbing shoulders with the geniuses of their time: Janis Joplin, members of Jefferson Airplane, Allen Ginsburg [who mistook her for a boy and tried to pick her up], Andy Warhol, Jimi Hendrix, Sam Shepherd & others.

Writer Caroline Myss would describe their relationship in terms of a "contract" that they made before they were born. Myss, who wrote the best seller "Sacred Contracts," describes a relationship like theirs like this: "Acting through your intuition, your divine potential always alerts you to "look alive" when you are in the midst of a "choice point," a significant contract moment or a recognition of someone with whom you have an agreement."

"Because each contractual relationship in your life is carrying a fragment of your spirit, just as you carry a fragment of others's spirits, when you feel strong energy responses to a person or place or in a situation, it is because you have come upon a part of your spirit that lives outside of your being."

Patti Smith and Robert Mapplethorpe manifested such a contract beautifully.

So many of us start out chasing our dreams and somewhere along the way give up our dream for practical matters.

Money.

Social Acceptance.

Marriage.

Children.

I started out on a similar path to Smith. Unafraid to experiment in the arts; I wrote. Sang in bands, wrote songs, wrote poetry, acted in plays. Of course I was not as dedicated, brilliant and absolutely original as Patti Smith. So I can enjoy her art as an admirer.

But reading Patti Smith memoir "Just Kids" brings my past rushing back to me - living for Arts sake, liberated from social mores, making friends with misfits who are also geniuses.  She did eventually marry and have 2 kids but only after she achieved her iconic dream and influenced a couple of generations with her brilliance. Just a working class girl from Jersey who met up with a Catholic boy from Queens, they encouraged each other to never give up on the dream and they both made it. 

She's known for her first album Horses; she co-wrote the play Cowboy Mouth with lover Sam Shepherd. She was sitting in the room when Kris Kristoferson sang "Me and Bobby McGee" to Janis Joplin the first time. Patti was surrounded by a cacophony of suicides and drug overdoses. She is one of the few icons of her generation who made it past age 55. Mapplethorpe died from AIDS at age 48. Unlike me she never let anxiety in the drivers seat - not even in the passenger seat.

Smith co-wrote "Because the night" with Bruce Springsteen; she lived with the keyboardist from Blue Oyster Cult. She published rock journalism in Rolling Stone magazine. Michael Stipes from R.E.M and U2 both say she influenced them strongly. Gilda Radner played a character named Candy Slice on Saturday Night Live based on Patti Smith.

Smith lived life rather than worried about it. At 63 years old, she continues to live her dream.

My cowboy mouth.