I Don't Understand Anything Anymore (Part 1)

Debra Victoroff

Debra Victoroff
New York, New York, USA
September 11
Warner Brothers
Writer, editor, singer, artist. Still adore Obama. He is brilliant, sincere, unpretentious, classy. A true leader, gazing down, bemused, as the petty GOP contenders claw each other's eyes out like 13 year old girls. The country is poised on the edge of recovery, thanks to his steady hand: unemployment is down, the stock market is up, the car industry is back in business, and banks are paying back the bailout money, with profits going to the government. Bin Laden is dead, and our boys are coming back from Iraq, just as he promised. If only he could get his jobs bill past the obstructionist Republicans, who are willing to destroy the middle class simply to regain power, this country would be back on its feet in no time! So glad there is absolutely no competition for his office. All the sane Republicans know there's not one among them that could handle the most difficult job in the world, so they're in hiding, while their two representatives, Romney (aka Romney-the-Dog-Abuser) and Gingrich (aka Gingrich-the-Wife-Abuser) battle it out.

JANUARY 17, 2009 11:05AM

Job Listing. Must Have Own Sunscreen.

Rate: 8 Flag



This one's for Mungular in particular, but for also for the rest of the writers here (that's everyone I suppose), employed or not. 

God don't you wish you could just disappear to a semi-tropical island, with or without your family or boyfriend/girlfriend (depending on the state of things), take a shitload of books and all those New Yorker magazines you never have time to read, your laptop (so you can stay in touch with OS), and plunk yourself down on a pristine beach?

There you’d lounge, looking out at the lapping waters, watching suntanned wind-surfers and snorklers, lifting your head to the occasional seagull…

Maybe you’d doze a bit, thinking about all those suckers in the frigid northeast U.S., all those folks trudging through a day looking at the same old McDonald’s and Taco Bells, the same old gray buildings, going to jobs where they’re under-paid and under-appreciated, or worse, trudging that same path, looking for work now that the policies of the U.S. president have come to full fruition.  I mean sometimes don’t you just want to get away from the U.S. and go somewhere the mood is not so heavy and dark?

The only problem is how to make money?  The only thing you really like to do is blog.  How does someone do that, and make a living at it?  Seems just impossible.

Job posting - spotted in the January 14, 2008 NYT.  Application deadline: Feb 22.

Heading: "Temp Job In Paradise Pays $100,000"

Here’s the website: http://islandreefjob.com/

Here’s the article where I found the listing:


Essentially heading over to Hamilton Island off Australia and lounging around in the sun, swimming some, drinking, going to bars, hanging in a hammock, reading every morning with your coffee in hand, fresh papaya juice on the wicker table.  Probably some sex if you’re inclined. 

Requirements: stroll beaches, swim in pool, and write about it.  Don’t know if health insurance is included.  Who the hell cares?



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I've thought many times about gathering some money, heading to paradise, and using my entrepreneurial skills to try and open my own little "umbrella drink bar" or some other cliched Paradise related business. This made me think of that...

Maybe we will see a mass Exodus from America due to this economy. I highly doubt it, but it's eye-opening for sure.

This would be a dream job... for a day, a week or a lifetime!
Gotta be a catch in there somewhere.

But if your posts mysteriously come to a halt, we'll know where to find you. Just remember when you put on your thong bikini: Waist in the big hole, legs in the smaller ones.
If it sounds to good to be true........
Diving the GB reef has been a dream of mine for many years. I checked out the application. It was pretty vague. I can't even get anyone to look at an application in my own town. Still, I think I smell a dead fish in there somewhere.
Please take me to the beach with you? I'll try to spend time at a beach in Nova Scotia at least once a year. As I et older and physically lame, the walks on the beach 'save me'...,
Once I realized for three days my brain stopped.
All I did was watch clouds, seagulls, and beach bubbles.
Waves, sunrise, sunset, and then I realized my brain was at rest.
My first thought was:`I wonder if ducks ever get bored. Whammy.
Then I was sure my bra was pronounced:` Deceased. No Waves.
My God, or Whatever ... Why was I fearful ... Then I understood?
I can hardly explain it. The mind is not between the two earlobes.
My Fear? Vanquished. Dissipated. Ducks never are bored. Maybe?
Maybe if Ya take me to the beach, We count sea waves in eternity?
Ya birthday is memorable. On September, 11, my son was married.
It was a date chosen to celebrate love and hope in horrible tragedy.
typo. Not bra, but brain. My keys get stuck.
Maybe it's the cold air? Arteries, veins, toes,
nose, fingers, and the cold floor. Warm days!
Warn voices, Spirits, Friends with Happiness.
Intimate sense is it is the way it's always been?
Sorta. We built a city of Love. One individual,
One day. One step. One breath. One surrender.
Not in coward submission, but to what's Great.
I'm a boy with mild fat breast? No bra or brain.
Hamilton Island? Thanks for the tip dcvd. I'm so completely there! I'll be back in contact with all you OSers once I've found the best corner of the beach for people watching and my new laptop is online.
LOL! Can't wait to read your posts on how you put your swimsuit on sideways....

It's 3 degrees outside, seriously.... where do I sign up???
I think I'm qualified for this job! :)
Greg - yeah, me too. My dream was (is?) to be the office manager in some scuba shop, hanging out snorkles to tourists, booking the dive trips, diving for free, swimming and hiking on the weekends. Whenever I've gone on vacation, those people look like they're having a great time. Don't know about a "mass exodus" but perhaps whoever can leave (those that have an "in" somewhere else), will.

gmgaston - If it's for real (and not some reality show stunt which in some ways it sounds like) it would be a total dream job!

LaurelNL - If I hadn't somehow got my underwear wrapped around the back of this chair, with me inside, I'd be laughing my ass off (at your comment)!!

Michael - yeah, there is something... mysterious about it. It was obviously conceived for the publicity it would generate, but still, there's an interview process, a job selection and then a contract, so I think someone will actually end up doing this. I wish it was me, if I didn't have to go through the annoying application process.

Arthur - Sandy beaches ROCK. I think that's what you're saying here...

nanatehay - (whenever I see your "handle" I always want to sing, "na na, hey, hey") If you get this job - can I visit you? Like for 6 months?

Science - For some reason, I seem to be able to put on a bathing suit without too much confusion... And yeah, I hear you. It's like 14 degrees here (you have it much worse!).

MJwycha - I'm sure you're qualified, but can you take the pressure? Sun beating down on you, waves crashing offshore, constant cry of seagulls, wind rustling the palm trees... hope you're a strong man.
ahhh we have our dreams in the winter time ....
at least your researching putting the dreams into action dcv .
I'm pretty sure I have all the qualifications listed in the
second to last paragraph . In fact , I would excel !
Well.... I have an opportunity for you in the future. Two of my husband's graduate students are writing their dissertations on eco-tourism in Sri Lanka. I have been to the beaches to which they are referring. Paradise! I see an investment opportunity in the future! ha!
Trig - I know I would be good at it too. Problem is: lots of competition.

Denese - Can I be a subject in their research? can I do their research for them??
Seriously, we are praying for an end to the civil war before next summer when they go back to do their research. Rich can obviously help them, as he's their major professor, but I am willing to take dictation or do whatever to help.
Denese - in all seriousness, I have to direct you to this post (and will send this note to you privately as well... http://open.salon.com/content.php?cid=81695
You might want to even contact this poster, Padraig - you'll see his contact info on his post.
Dear woman;

I have followed Sri Lankan politics for years, mostly because the man and organization I honor above most, Dr. A.T. Ariyaratne and the Sarvodaya Shramadana Movement, are there. I've spent a good 30 years of my life involved with that organization both because of their 'peace work' and 'development (model) work'. I did not know of this particular assassination of which you write, but I do know that a Sri Lankan friend very aligned with Sarvodaya posted the following last week on facebook (he is my friend):

First they came for the Jews

and I did not speak out because I was not a Jew.

Then they came for the Communists

and I did not speak out because I was not a Communist.

Then they came for the trade unionists

and I did not speak out because I was not a trade unionist.

Then they came for me

and there was no one left to speak out for me.

Of course, this is the same verse that Lasantha Wickramatunge wrote that was published postmortem. During various political eras in Sri Lanka Dr. Ari has been targeted for assassination by whichever person in power was unhappy with what he had to say at the time. He has never aligned himself with a political party either.

I recognize Wickramatunge's name as being Singhala, like my friend Dr. Ariyaratne. However, neither advocated for or against the government (Singhalese) or Tamil side (whatever that is, certainly not represented by the LTTE). Both were/are great patriots of their country. And it is a paradise, really, to which we are now afraid to return.
Denese - I'll respond privately to your excellent comment. I think we're hi-jacking this post. Let's go over to Padriag's and hi-jack his!
Damn...I need a sabatical from school. Wait a minute--I don't think students get those.