I Don't Understand Anything Anymore (Part 1)

Debra Victoroff

Debra Victoroff
New York, New York, USA
September 11
Warner Brothers
Writer, editor, singer, artist. Still adore Obama. He is brilliant, sincere, unpretentious, classy. A true leader, gazing down, bemused, as the petty GOP contenders claw each other's eyes out like 13 year old girls. The country is poised on the edge of recovery, thanks to his steady hand: unemployment is down, the stock market is up, the car industry is back in business, and banks are paying back the bailout money, with profits going to the government. Bin Laden is dead, and our boys are coming back from Iraq, just as he promised. If only he could get his jobs bill past the obstructionist Republicans, who are willing to destroy the middle class simply to regain power, this country would be back on its feet in no time! So glad there is absolutely no competition for his office. All the sane Republicans know there's not one among them that could handle the most difficult job in the world, so they're in hiding, while their two representatives, Romney (aka Romney-the-Dog-Abuser) and Gingrich (aka Gingrich-the-Wife-Abuser) battle it out.

DECEMBER 2, 2009 12:58PM

When They Ask You About Your Sex Partners - Dr. Visit

Rate: 14 Flag

I recently went to the gyno for a check-up and they had these newfangled devices into which you load all your pertinent info and then you're part of their database.  

 Newfangled Device


So I got to this one point in the questions and this is what it asked:


Which Gender


"Select the gender of the Patient's current partner(s):"

At first I thought it meant that I could have either a male partner, or a female partner, and/or a transgender partner, and I thought to myself, "My, how modern!", but on second thought I suppose it means that I could be sleeping with both men and women.  Also so very modern. 



For those who are curious - I put down "male" for my partner of choice. And then I thought how old-fashioned I was. 

The world has certainly changed since I started in this process... 


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Is it just me, or is a little uncomfortable to be typing in such information for a *database* ?!
What if you need an excel spreadsheet to fill out all the fields....? ;)
I'm surprised they only gave two choices in genders.
Big brother knows ALL about you know, you little dickens
Big brother knows ALL about you**now**, you little dickens

Big brother should be teaching me to type better too.
@Pandora M It's probably not so much a database in the sense that the keep everyone's information in one giant file, but that you fill it out and in goes in your file. I'm guessing that the theory behind it is that it's saves time doing patient histories and people might be more honest typing something into a computer than telling a doctor.
This reminds me of my teenage years when you had to fill in the blank "sex" and I wanted to write "yes" instead of "M"
If it's an animal, do you need to put down the gender?
I was expecting the next question to be how many partners have you had?

A 0
B 1 - 9
C 10 - 25
D 25 - 100
E too many to count
I pretty much lie about everything because I don't want my life story in somebody elses database. Information is power. Reason #462 you don't want the Gov't taking over healthcare.
Pandora - Your name is so germane as regards this topic... and yes, I was a little nervous typing "enter". (Ooh - even that sounds bad!)

O'Really - Hilarious! Some people will certainly request a second page...

WillSomeone - Oy - really? That explains a few PMs I've gotten just recently...

Nick - Oh so true! Wait 'til next year.

Boomer - both your comments are welcome here! And yes, I've been informed that all my info is going directly into the OS database.

Rachel - It does go into one's chart, but who knows where THAT ends up? What can ya do?

OE - I remember that too. Other responses I wanted to put down: "Not recently" and "Who wants to know?".
I kind of feel the same way. It would make me uncomfortable. If they want to know, let them read my blog.
Sheesh! Try being a lesbian in a small town, going to the doctor. "Are you sexually active?" Um . . . I haven't slept with a man in years . . . .
I can't stand it when form require me to state my gender! For medical purposes, fine...but grocery store cards and the like....yek. It makes me very uncomfortable...because I'm a girl with a boy's heart. xox
The other question I love: "Do you use any illegal drugs?" Is there more than one answer possible to the way that question is worded?
John Blumenthal - Only if it's a mammal...

Ablonde - Frankly, I'm surprised they didn't ask it! But then everyone in the waiting room would start comparing "scores" and it would get very noisy and boisterous and start annoying the receptionists.

Deborah Young - Well the fact is, your info is already in (I assume) many doctors' offices, perhaps in manilla folders but probably eventually into a computer database. Hopefully it will stay there, but you are right - no guarantees.

Serinita - I spit out my coffee! "Let them read my blog." You are hilarious. Laugh of the day!

Owl_Says_Who - Seriously! Or what if you're a lesbian who is turned on, perversely, by men? Where's that category?

RobinSneed - You are certainly in a (wonderful) category all your own!

Apasia - Could you say "I use drugs that are legal under some laws, in some states."?
God, you're gorgeous.
Americain - Um, thank you! You are too. That question was not on the pad, but, hey, I'll take it...
Sorry about being totally off-topic. Forgive me.
Americain - I will always forgive you... hey, I LIKE compliments!!! xx
You're downright Victorian. That's what I love about you.
Steve - I'm a Victorian in many ways, but not every way... I can be quite modern! But I think you "get" me....
It's clear to me that they should have started that question off on a much more basic level:

Animal, vegetable or mineral?
Magnetic - Now that you mention it, it's so obvious! Genius!
I should think that there are enough videos online for anyone who cares to know about my sex life!
Monsieur! I had no idea, and I am frankly delighted. Off I go to research your most intimate moments on You Tube. Then will I be sated.
OK, you little dickens, I've waited long enough. I'm convinced your doc's cyberspace has taken you captive (of course I couldn't blame it) and I'm sending Bruce Willis to see if you've grown orange hair and wear weird bathing suits.

If you don't show up soon, a flying taxicab is gonna hunt your gorgeous ass down for me and what happens after that is out of my control.
Bonnie - I think people secretly get a kick out of hitting the box: "Both"...