I live in Mississippi. I am surrounded by churches, there are 3 within one block of my house. Many of my friends on Facebook are from Mississippi. But when I posted a NYT article on my FB page about the Oklahoma abortion bill, I never imagined that anyone would see this law as anything but wrong. The bill forces all women who want an abortion (including rape and incest victims) to undergo a detailed descriptive ultrasound and it allows doctors to hide facts about birth defects from parents. Obviously, I was mistaken and people found my link offensive, I took it down, FB is not a forum for serious discussions on life and morality.

Later in the day, I was chatting with a friend who is very ambivalent about abortions. Both of us are from the same medical school in India and we have seen plenty of MTPs (medical termination of pregnancies). In fact, I believe we were supposed to have assisted in 5 to clear our OB-GYN posting. 

In his opinion, there was nothing more heinous than selective female abortion (sadly extremely common in India) . Abortion heinousness had grades, the lowest heinousness was for birth defects incompatible with life, followed by birth defects compatible with life, followed by cases of rape and incest and the most heinous cases were women using it as birth control and selective abortions of the female fetus.  He also had serious reservations about 2nd trimester abortions, arguing that 20 weeks is no different from 32 weeks which is no different from a full term baby. "Society has a say in the care of the fetus, it is not the mother who has sole responsibility "  

2 years ago, I would have agreed with him. 2 years ago, I found myself pregnant and everything changed.  My pregnancy was not easy on me. It was a precious pregnancy after an infertility battle and I was plagued by anxieties. My triple test came out positive and I had to undergo an amniocentesis. The DNA analysis took 2 weeks and they were the worst weeks of my life because for the first time, I had to think of the unimaginable. At that point, I knew that if I had to give up the baby, I would lose myself entirely.  And I also knew that I was grateful that I had the option. As it turns out, the amniocentesis results were negative. 

How can it be more socially acceptable to abort a trisomy 21 (Downs) baby than a healthy one. Several people with Downs or other congenital defects have fulfilling lives. They may not be "normal" in the 2 standard deviations kind of way but that does not mean they are not happy. There is a point to this, the point being that all abortions are essentially the same. It is an either/or situation . The pregnant woman who thinks that the fetus being female is a grave birth defect is really no different from the pregnant woman who thinks that a chromosomal anomaly is a grave birth defect who is no different from the pregnant woman who thinks that the unwanted fetus is a defect in her long term plans.  It is all the same to the fetus who gets aborted. There are no grades of heinousness, all abortions are essentially heinous. 

Abortions are a crime against nature like suicide is a crime against nature. Taking a life is a crime against nature and abortion is very very close to suicide. When you have a baby in you, it is a part of you. Killing it would be like ripping your soul.

The same way, there is really no difference between 24 weeks and 32 weeks. A baby is viable at 24 weeks now with the current state of NICU care. But if you go back, the fetus has life from the time of the zygote. There is a heartbeat at 5 weeks, we know that. 

Despite this, I strongly believe that the only person who has the right to decide about a pregnancy is the woman who is pregnant. If she has the right to cut off her arm, if she has the right to kill herself, she has the right to an abortion. A woman is more than a womb, she is a living person who has the right to choose if she wants to bear a child. Society does not have a role in this, it is her right and her right alone. I believe that a woman should have the right to deliver the child when she chooses. Let them not kill the baby, just induce labor at 20 weeks, at 24 weeks, at 30 weeks or at 38 weeks. There is no rule that forces a mother to care for her child, she has the option of letting society raise the baby, so be it for the fetus.

It is a hard, terrible soul-ripping decision and the least we can do is offer our sympathy and support. Women who decide to have abortions do not need to be shamed or humiliated. It is a desperate decision, and I have nothing but support for them.  "There for the grace of God go I".