DeliaBlack's Blog

JULY 26, 2009 11:33PM

Jackpot!

Rate: 16 Flag
Amacin grace, how sweat, the sound!  I once was broke but now I've found
'His Excellency Chief James Ibori'
 Looky here--
Dear Sir/Mamada
(yes he called me Mamada...and Michael Rodgers only calls me Love Turnip and Snuff baggy)

We  met at that time in your country during one of my official state visit to your country.
We met?  Surely I would remember meeting a chief!!  I googled just to know what that would look like
master-chief-1.jpg 
Oh, yeah...I sat behind him in church.
Please kindly give me a call today,i want  to  assure you sincerely that i come to you in good faith, i will gladly appreciate your call today.


I am Chief James Ibori, the former Executive Governor of Delta State of Nigeria
Being from Missipii, I have heard of Delta State. 
Where the womin are good lookin and the men are made of carpet (and need to vacuum their faces)
Without much ado I have to go straight to the point of my having to contact you. Right now I am undergoing a serious probe from the present President of the Federal Republic of Nigeria for misappropriation of funds..
 A probe?  My uncle had one a while back.  It left him with lots of gas.  His wife made him sleep outside.
I hereby confidentially inform you that I have the sum of $1,000.000.000 (One Billion United States Dollars) that I want to move into the safe custody of a foreign partner who will invest it for me and for your participation I will give you 40% of the total sum when you receive the funds.Be rest assured that this transaction will be conducted in a legal manner to give it the much credit it deserves.
40% of one billion? That's like, 16,000 dollars!  I could buy a trailer home.  (not a nice trailer home)

I can get this fund to you through any means of your choice be it through wire transfer or I can package and pass it through the diplomatic channel,this medium was formerly reserved for Ambassadors of Heads of State and County Chiefs .
He can pass it through a diplomatic channel?  Is that like where the girl comes out of the TV on The Ring?  I nearly wet my pants when i saw that.

 



Please let me know immediately if you can help me receive and secure this funds and please if by any means you are not interested in this business proposal I implore you to delete this message and never disclose its contents to any third party.
I promise not to let a third party know, or even a first party, or a second.
Thank You for your time
His Excellency Chief James Ibori.
Telephone. +234 (709)5069134
I'm Riiich!!!
 

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Hahahahaha!

We want to assure you sincerely how much we enjoyed this—especially the part about the men needing to vacuum their carpet faces!!! Oh, and 40% of a billion—wow, $16,000!!!! (Sorry for all the exclamation points. All this good fortune is getting us giddy ;-)

( m&m )
Hehehehe! Don't you just looove getting emails like this? I've gotten several, but none quite as....interesting......as this one! My math isn't the best part of me, but isn't 40% of a billion a little more than 16,000? Aren't there a few more zeroes along in there somewhere? Just askin'.
Yet another example of the enterpreneurial spirit!
May I have a small loan now that you are a potential trailer home owner?
oh god, i've missed your writing, delia dee!!! or maybe i just missed your posts. now i have to check. i LOVE it when you become other characters with other voices. i love that you took on the famous Nigerian guy. now please go and RATE my SEX post. i'm so grateful to you for commenting. love lvoe lvoe and huge gratitude
With taxes taken out, you'll clear about $10,500.
Good for you Delia. Maybe I could get a loan when your bag-o-money is delivered. Very funny!!


rated
Hahahaha! I want to report those damn emails... are they kidding or what? hehehehehe... funny!
That is the most creative spamming email I have ever seen. Loved it!
You just made me weep with laughter, girl. Thank you.
I keep getting other messages from hathway dot com too announcing I won hundred thousand pound sterling from MSN lucky draws. all they want is your name, address, phone number!

nice to have you back Delia, missed you.
this was really funny... the character was trying to be so knowledgable coupled with tons of typos thrown in - thanks a lot Delia, very creative and wanted more in the end, that's always nice.
So...you're gonna follow up on it, right?
LOL! Wow. Do you mind if I too call His Excellency to get in on what is clearly an excellent, generous (& transparent) offer?