Everyone else is doing a list, and if everyone else jumped off a cliff, well, I wouldn't.  But making a list is hardly jumping off a cliff....

Holiday gatherings provide the opportunity to relish quality time with family, friends, or coworkers, but that's only if you really enjoy your family, friends, and coworkers.  Because I don't want to offend my family (and because they know tons of embarrassing things I've said), I won't identify which of these things were said at family gatherings, friend gatherings, or coworker gatherings.

from www.ehow.com

 10.  said as someone tried to clear the air after a squabble:

"Hey!!  Everybody get in here NOW! I've got something to say!"

(Muttered)  "Well, since you put it so nicely..."

9.  me:  "I'm thinking I may not want to have any kids."

M:  "That may be a good idea because--(his 3-year-old daughter traipses in) Hey, hey, hey!!!  Look who's here!!  What do you want, baby?"

8.  said to me, as I tried to hand someone a program of Gospel music:

"Thanks, but I'm trying to quit." 

7.  me, driving around looking for a house that my only my copilot had been to before

Me:  "Do you remember what it looks like or what it's near or anything about it?"

Copilot:  "Nah."

Me:  "Do you have Louise's number?"

Copilot:  "I don't have her number.  Let's call Louise and ask her what her number is."

6. OK-not a holiday gathering ... said as a house, which had NEVER flooded before, began to flood during Katrina:

wife to husband:  "M., the house is flooding.  What are we gonna do about the kids?!?"

Husband:  "Get out the air mattresses."

Wife:  "Nobody wants to take a nap right now!"

(I don't know which response was weirder.)

from gablesportsga.com

5.   "We've got people from all religions here this year.  We've got Baptists and Catholics."

4.  "Thanksgiving came on a Thursday this year!" (said with no irony)

3.   "Oh!!  Yay!!!!! I've been wanting a snuggie!"  (again, no irony)

2.  (said after I jokingly stole someone's seat, and the mistress of the proceedings didn't know that it wasn't supposed to be mine)

Mistress:  "M____, that's her seat!"

M:  (yelling)" !@#%       #^# $&^%     #^#%      #%^%$^#    then!"

Someone else:  "Let's get quiet.  It's time to read from the Gospel of Luke."

1.  "Structurally, it's a very sound trailer.  And it's at the front of the trailer court, away from the riff raff in back."

(Nothing against trailers, but if you live in a place with hurricanes, is there such a  thing as a structurally sound trailer?  And can riff raff not walk to the front of the trailer park?)

 from http://wildomarmagazine.wordpress.com/2009/10/07/wildomars-newest-commercial-development/