When in the course of human events you are gifted a 'free' part-wirehaired-terrier puppy by two women in a truck that roars off down the street as soon as the puppy has cleared the passenger side window...well, when this happens, you don't know what's in store for you.
 
If you are me, you go inside to show your brother.  "Look!" you say, as if you have accomplished something by merely holding a puppy.  But it is such a cute puppy!  It has big brown eyes and black hair!  It kisses your face. 
 
"What's that?!?" says your brother, who is called 'Uncle Bubby' to the two cats and one chihuahua that were previous gifts. 
 
"It's a puppy!"  you say.
 
"I know what it is!  Where did you get it?!?"
 
You explain about the people in the truck. He reminds you how much it costs to keep the three pets you already have.  He tugs at your reason, as the sleepy puppy tugs at your heart. 
 
"But who could resist this?"  you gesture toward the puppy.
 
"I could!" he says.  He tells you to go outside and return the puppy. But it's too late.  There is no sign that the truck was ever there, other than the puppy you've just adopted.
 
But one day, the puppy will grow up and need a haircut.
 
Sadly, this day comes when you are broke.  It is a hot summer, and your dog--we'll call him J. so he doesn't hire a lawyer--is sure to suffer from his thick coat.  "How hard can this be?  Surely I can clip his hair..."  You consider.  There was that one time you gave yourself a haircut in the 1990s.  Everyone called you Edward Scissorhands. But can you really afford a professional groomer?
 

 

J. just before the trauma 

J. is so trusting as you lead him to the porch with the scissors.  He smiles up at you.  You attempt to hold him still and begin to snip.
Snip.  Snip.  This isn't that hard.
 
You just go in a straight line and....(struggle to keep dog from walking around)...try to take off the same amount.
 
Snip. Snip.  He'll be so grateful when he's cooler.
Snip.
It looks okay, but some things--like a Jackson Pollack painting or your childhood--can only be understood from a distance.  You stand up...then begin to pray.

 

One paw tentatively reaches toward his lost locks.

What have I done?  The poor dog!  Maybe you can blame the neighbor's two-year-old. 
J. looks like he has come down with the mange.  Uneven coat.  Visible skin in a few parts. 

  

Oh, the humanity!

You lead him outside to his brother, a Catahoula mix--your youngest pet--that was gifted to you by an uncle.
 
You hope no one from the Humane Society is nearby.
 
The catahoula looks horrified.  "Edward Scissorhands!" his big brown eyes cry.  "Don't you come near me!"
 
J. walks around.  There is no mirror nearby, so he is holding up well.  You feel awash in guilt, knowing that when you return inside the catahoula will surely tell him how he really looks. Your panicked mind finds the only available remedy--Treats!
 
Months have passed, and J.'s hair has grown back.  Through counseling and extensions, he was able to make it through the summer. 
It is winter, and you are broke again.  But it seems like the Catahoula could use a good grooming.

 

"Don't you come near me, Edward Scissorhands!"  The Catahoula's eyes say it all... 

 from costumzee.com