In Curatio Veritas

Attention Matters

I went to get a fast, cheap hair trip yesterday. A modern American walk-right-in chain sweatshop I realized later.

The lady who was going to cut my hair was nice, young (meaning at least 20 years younger than me) and had shoulder –length hair.

We went back so she… Read full post »

AUGUST 3, 2014 1:12AM

Personal Rape vs Public Psychology

Rough draft

In the summer of 1982, after the rape, I did what I knew to do. I went to the library to do research, and in time I found a therapist.

The books available at the library were few.  One or two on how to go to… Read full post »

Forty five years ago Neil Armstrong and Buzz Aldren stepped on the moon.

In 1969 the US was deeply divided about the Viet Nam war, race relations were tense, and we were in a cold war with Russia.

I remember hearing and seeing pictures of breadlines and empty… Read full post »

My higher self used to manage to get hints and clues to me by putting these crazy messages in my mouth where I’d have to hear them.

This came through in early sobriety in 1991 in Culver City and the Studio Group meeting.

“Grant me the serenity… Read full post »

DECEMBER 11, 2013 4:07AM

How To Measure Time

Many years ago I was social tired and city weary and I had been away from home too long. I was homesick and soul sick, but could not go back. All I could hope for was that in going forward I would find my place, or at least a place to… Read full post »

OCTOBER 6, 2013 7:41PM

Who Has Your Back?

Hello my OS friends -

I am beginning to work on my book again and appreciate being able to post things here to "see how they sound." Thank you for reading and your constructive comments are appreciated.  

 Beach Grass and Puget Sound @ Delia Yeager 

I hear this phrase from banks and other ads, and in conversationRead full post »

Just like “in the olden days” of unconscionable behavior, old white men, drunk with power (and booze) and so used to being untouchable, unaccountable for their actions they rape and pillage and do not see what the problem is, these treasonous beasts have brought down the Federal Governmen… Read full post »

To be – serious, and not to be – serious; that is the question.

I grew up in serious times in a house of people who were serious about making changes in the government and laws in this country.  The world had serious problems and it would take serious people toRead full post »

JULY 4, 2013 2:02AM

An American Dream

A few years ago I discovered that there is a Naturalization Ceremony on the 4th of July at the Seattle Center.

I went there to see Obama's first inauguration. When President Obama was elected, I was so overjoyed – not only a decent man and great speaker, but an idealist who… Read full post »

JULY 3, 2013 4:37PM

Time To Fly

When I was young I tried and tried

To be the things my mother wanted of me.

I tried and tried to square up my roundedness

To fit into the straight lines and right angles in every way.

Mom saw my struggle and related.


She’d… Read full post »

JULY 2, 2013 3:17PM

Insanity Is Not Sustainable

Lately I have been imagining a lot of horrible things. In my mind’s eye I see pictures of torture, abuse, injustices done upon my body as well as others. It can be sudden and very disturbing for my body.

At different times in my life I have gone through periods whereRead full post »

One out of 10 people over the age of 12 are on antidepressants, but that’s not a problem to national security. It’s a personal problem, not a systemic one.

7 out of 10 of Americans are on prescription drugs, but there’s no problem with that either. 

80% of processed… Read full post »

MAY 26, 2013 2:15PM

Understanding Pop a little more

A child understands her parents in relationship to her.

In the beginning they are the things that make life possible. She cries and they feed her. She’s wet, and they change her. The child understands the parents in relationship to her being, as if when they are not in her… Read full post »

MAY 15, 2013 9:39PM

A View of the Summer of 1970

1969 was my first year in public school. It was quite an achievement to get to leave the Catholic school I had been in since first grade.  Seven years of the same people in my classes and in the small school. The same kids, the same families from 1st to 8thRead full post »

Part 2

That pregnancy itself was like being possessed. I quit smoking, partly due to the shame and grief I got from people, including Tim. He'd hoped I'd have an abortion, but the church of Nice Guy kept that at bay and of course “it's a woman's right to chose.”Read full post »

JANUARY 17, 2013 3:41AM

The Prayer Book and the Pregnancy

In 1991 I bought a Journal. One of those large, over-sized, old fashioned Journals that they used to use for accountancy, only this one had graph paper pages. I really liked the pale blue square boxes all over the pages. I thought the symmetry would be good for me since I'd… Read full post »

OCTOBER 22, 2012 5:11PM

The Christmas Present

The Christmas Present

For some folks thinking about what they’ll do for Christmas is pre-planning problem solving, for others it is recreational Visioning. It has defiantly become recreational Visioning for me. We’ve had the first sleet of the change of season tonight so this is a naturaRead full post »

SEPTEMBER 9, 2012 6:45PM

Struggle & Stress


Kahlil Gibran says in The Prophet – “pain is the breaking of the shell of your understanding.”

Imagine watching a chick hatch out of its egg. The chick has a little thorn on its beak to help it crack its way out of the shell. It is… Read full post »

JULY 27, 2012 9:14PM

And the day came ...

And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom.                           -Anais Nin

I used to twist and shou… Read full post »

JULY 11, 2012 9:25PM

The Irish Moss Green Skirt

“Stand still! I can’t pin this with you fidgeting around so much! If you’d stand still I could get done with this and you could go play!”

I don’t want to stand still. It’s boring to just stand still! I hate it when she decides to make me new… Read full post »

JULY 2, 2012 8:12PM

A Life-work

 A life-work should not be easy. Simple maybe but hard.
A life-work that is worthy will take time and space, it will
inform you and shape you in your struggle to bring it into
being.  Your life-work will, like grace, cut away at what is
not essential, while illuminating what/… Read full post »

JUNE 28, 2012 3:38AM

My Nora Ephron Amuse-Bouch

She didn’t so much argue women’s or men’s places as she did know what they were, and then played with them.

Men’s literature is not called men’s literature. It’s not called Caucasian men’s literature, either. Instead it’s not called anything – i… Read full post »

JUNE 24, 2012 5:28PM

What I've Received From You at OS

What Losing OS Would Mean – to me - in response to fernsy's open call.

I started reading and posting here a couple of years ago or so. I hadn’t had a lot of strangers read my work before.  It felt hugely risky, but people were nice. People read and/… Read full post »

JUNE 24, 2012 3:17AM

God You Are Brave

God you are brave,
Karen Blixen in Out of Africa says to her ex-husband
when he comes to tell her that her lover died in a crash.

My father said, “You have a lot of courage.”
I couldn’t figure out what he meant. I’d just told him that after the/… Read full post »

JUNE 23, 2012 4:26AM

Meshrebiya Lacework

Mesh Window Cairo


Black used to be the color of sinister - absence, void, a place for threat to hide;

The color of annihilation, of swastikas. Black used to be the color of war – until

In Egypt, shade is planned for, cultivated, desirable.

The sunRead full post »