Transformation

It is in the Absence      
since death came and liberated
that beautiful soul from that tired body      
and blessed him with the rest-in-peace.

She loved him with every breath and cell      
and sits running her hand through
the sands of time. Their time mixed
all the grains together so       
now she doesn’t know
where she begins and ends -      
it is all in his life, his memories - for now. 

The tears flow down her cheeks    
the phlegm drips heavy with sadness.
She keeps handing out letters, photographs –             
See – this is what I lost! I lost all this and still             
I am expected to go on! How can I go on?              
I know I must – he would tell me I must, but still             
how can I go on with these big holes in my  -                    
self? 

Grief takes longer than anyone’s attention span. 

Its fierce grace cuts away anything that is not essentially yours.

So much identity is lost and
reshaped. It is easier when we
don’t resist and instead
trust the unseen, unknown process.

The tears, like 
fierce storm, build and
build until
Crescendo! You break      but
not in two, not in half, just     
some aspect you’d clinged to
as though it were you     
has been broken off      
now, freeing you.

The tears keep coming but now they are like a balm.
The toxins have been washed away. It is finally just the clear       
salt-water of life flowing      
and sparkling  diamonds 
(Pressure builds diamonds)
And now she sits on a mountain of blessings. 

Delia Arleen Yeager11-12-11  

I miss those who have gone before, but I now have more joy in their love than
sorry at their going.  

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