There's much ado about poly these days...but not that kind that squawks and flies around, the kind that people do, polyamory.

Often confused with either polygamy or swinging, polyamory is about relationships, specifically about making open relationships that work for the individuals involved. There are many definitions of polyamory floating around, creating new found interest in the dating world as an alternative to cheating. No doubt about it, the numbers don't lie...people do...both men and women are dating more than one person at a time in what may seem to be more than a casual manner. There is also no doubt that many of these self-same people are cheating; that isn't "poly"...well, to be honest, that SHOULD NOT be poly, though it may well be from the mindset of the person doing the cheating.

Let me explain. It's all about communication. Open relationships simply cannot work without equally open communications. While most daters err on too little of it, polys would be ill-advised to not speak up when speaking is the only way your partners can know what you're doing, thinking or planning. The Juicy Crone advises speaking early, often and as honestly as you can muster! The root of most problems start with someone guessing or supposing what another is thinking.

However, while poly practitioners may feel they have communicated plenty, even words can get in the way, if feelings get trampled on. "Checking in" is one way of short-circuiting hurt feelings. You and your partners may have a routine, but life has a funny way of getting in the way of all of the best intentions. Be ready to give your partners the benefit of the doubt when things become emotional. One thing is for certain, when hearts are involved, reason pretty much goes out the window!

What questions arise in you when/if your partner comes to you and says that another partner needs more time and energy than originally agreed to? How do you plan for the unplannable?  The Juicy Crone would really love to see a lively discussion here!

Let the cracker throwing begin!

The Juicy Crone, aka deLuvDoc