Too many serious posts in a row!  Need some comic relief!

 I love chicken crossing the road jokes:

 

The original:

Why did the chicken cross the road?

To get to the other side

 

Some of my favorite variations:

 Why did the ____insert variation here____ cross the road?

 Robert Frost:  To cross the road less traveled

Colonel Sanders: I missed one?

Mae West: Because I invited it to come up and see me sometime

Darth Vader: Because it could not resist the power of the Dark Side

Darwin:  Chickens were naturally selected for road crossing

George HW Bush: To face a kinder, gentler thousand points of headlights.

George W. Bush: Because it was the decider

 Bob Dylan: How many roads must one chicken cross?

 Gilligan: The traffic started getting rough; the chicken had to cross. If not for the plumage of its peerless tail the chicken would be lost, the chicken would be lost!

James T. Kirk: To boldly go where no chicken has gone before

Mr. Spock: It was logical for it to cross the road

Mr. Scott:  'Cos ma wee transporter beam was na functioning properly. Ah canna work miracles, Captain!

Leonard "Bones" McCoy: The chicken's dead Jim!

 Sir Isaac Newton: Chickens at rest tend to stay at rest. Chickens in motion tend to cross the road

Albert Einstein: Whether the chicken crossed the road or the road crossed the chicken depends upon your frame of reference

Dr. Martin Luther King: The Chicken had a dream of crossing the road. 

Lord Baden-Powell: To earn a Road Crossing merit badge

 Jim Morrison: To break on through to the other side.

Woody Allen: I mean, it was, it was ... a legal chicken ... It wasn't like it was a blood relative or anything.

Dead Sea Scrolls: And God came down from the heavens, and He said unto the chicken, "Thou shalt cross the road." And the Chicken crossed the road, and there was much rejoicing.

Pat Buchanan: To steal a job from a decent, hard-working American.

Jack Benny: I'm thinking. ... I'm thinking

Buddha: If you ask this question, you deny your own chicken nature.

James Cagney: It crossed twice. The dirty double-crosser.

John Cleese: It's not crossing, it's passed on. This chicken is no more. It has ceased to be. It's expired and gone to meet its maker. This is a late chicken. It's a stiff. Bereft of life, it rests in peace. If you hadn't nailed it to the perch, it would be pushing up daisies. It's rung down the curtain and joined the choir invisible. This is an ex-chicken!

John Cleese (variation): It was pining for the fiords.

James Dean: To prove he wasn't chicken.

Emily Dickenson: Because it could not stop for death.

Ralph Waldo Emerson: It didn't cross the road; it transcended it.

M.C. Escher: That depends on which plane of reality the chicken was on at the time.

Aristotle: To actualize its potential.

Plato: Was it really a chicken that crossed the road, or did you just perceive it as a chicken?

Sigmund Freud: Sometimes a chicken is just a chicken

Carl Jung: The confluence of events in the cultural gestalt necessitated that individual chickens cross roads. This brought such occurrences into being.

 

B.F. Skinner: Because the external influences, which had pervaded its sensorium from birth, had caused it to develop in such a fashion that it would tend to cross roads, even while believing these actions to be of its own freewill.

Konrad  Lorenz: It had seen its mother cross the road

Jean Piaget: The chicken performs a crossing which has an effect on or organizes the road

Albert Camus: It doesn't matter; the chicken's actions have no meaning except to him.

Machiavelli: The point is that the chicken crossed the road. Who cares why? The ends of crossing the road justify whatever motive there was.

Karl Marx: It crossed twice. First time, it was a tragedy; second time, a farce.

Nietzsche: Because if you gaze too long across the Road, the Road gazes also across you.

Jean-Paul Sartre: The chicken did not cross the road because it is infinite and thus overflowed the road.

Immanuel Kant: The chicken, being an autonomous being, chose to cross the road of his own free will.

Yogi Berra: The chicken does not cross the road until it crosses the road

Yogi Bear: To get the picanic baskets!

Mel Gibson: Why are you looking at the chicken, sugar-tits?

Bill Gates: To purchase Chicken 2.01a, which will both cross roads and calculate the energy it used. There are bugs, yes, but if you uninstall Traffic 2.0 and Farmer 1.2 it will run. If it freezes at WhiteLine 2.0, we have a patch ...

Grandpa: In my day, we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Someone told us that the chicken had crossed the road, and that was good enough for us.

Sherlock Holmes: Elementary my dear Watson, Do not concern yourself with the chicken that did cross the road; the answer lies with the chicken that did not cross the road.

 

Sadaam Hussein: Because it is the Mother of all Chickens.

Terry Jones: This isn't a chicken license! It's a dog license with the word "Dog" crossed out and "Chicken" written in in crayon.

Timothy Leary: Because that's the only kind of trip the Establishment would let it take.

Chico Marx: It couldn't. It was a rubber chicken.

Groucho Marx: The chicken wouldn’t cross any road that would allow itself to be crossed by a chicken.

Harpo Marx: Honk! Honk! Honk!

Fox Mulder:  It didn't, It was all a government conspiracy.

Jack Nicholson: It couldn't handle this side of the road

 George Orwell: Crossing is not crossing.  The road is not the road. The chicken is not a chicken.

Pyrrho the Skeptic: There was no road!

Arnold Schwartzenegger: It vill be back.

 

Jerry Seinfeld: Why does anyone cross a road? I mean, why doesn't anyone ever think to ask, "What the heck was this chicken doing walking around all over the place anyway?"

Theodore Geisel: Did the chicken cross the road?
Did he cross it with a toad?
Yes the chicken crossed the road,
but why he crossed, I've not been told!

O.J: Simpson: To find the real killer

The Sphinx: What has two legs before it crosses the road and two legs after it crosses the road?

Joseph Stalin: I don't care. Catch it. I need its eggs to make my omelet. Then when it has outlived its usefulness, kill it.

Oliver Stone: The question is not "Why did the chicken cross the road?" but is rather "Who was crossing the road at the same time whom we overlooked in our haste to observe the chicken crossing?"

And my all time favorite:

 Why did the Heisenbergian Chicken Cross the Road?

We are uncertain if the chicken crossed the road, but it was moving very fast!