If a woman you knew was 24 hours from a major heart episode, would you recognize the signs? I didn't. While I was in San Francisco at a professional conference, my roommate and I and two other women headed out on foot for what we expected would be a pleasant Sunday of soaking up the local culture. In the middle of the church service, my roommate and I looked up and noticed our companions had left. It seemed odd--why would they leave in the middle of church? One of the women, Linda,* noticed that the other woman, Joann, seemed unwell and insisted that they head to a hospital immediately. They arrived by cab in the emergency room, where they told Linda that she was about 24 hours away from a heart attack, and that she would need a bypass immediately.

The story has a happy ending, thanks to Linda. Joann came through surgery with flying colors. After her recovery Joann  said that if she had seen another person looking the way she looked in the days that preceded her hospital admission, she would have recognized that she needed medical attention, but her symptoms prevented her from thinking and acting clearly. She had called her doctor on the East Coast prior to boarding her flight to San Francisco and described her symptoms, but in spite of the fact that she was being treated for high blood pressure, he dismissed her symptoms as a touch of the flu and told her a physical exam didn't seem necessary.

A couple of nights before Joann went into the hospital I had noticed her just sitting in a chair to the restroom, as if a late-night pit stop had winded her. It seemed odd to me, but I was in my early 30s and not thinking about looking out for signs and symptoms of heart disease. I suppose I thought it seemed rude to call attention to someone seeming sick and tired. After Joann's near miss, Linda became a hero and a role model for me. Sometimes we don't know how to say something politely so we say nothing at all. After Joann almost died far from home, I decided that it's better to risk being thought rude if there was any chance I could save a life in the process.  In the years since I did once call attention to similar symptoms in a man I knew. He checked it out (even though he had recently passed a stress test) and ended up being treated for sleep apnea.  

I'm really glad I said something. 

*Names have been changed.