We all have our secrets. Victoria supposedly has more than most. But if you really want the down and dirty, hang out in the dressing room of a Victoria's Secret for a few and you'll see and hear it all.

I found myself in one this past weekend with my daughter, shopping for a swimsuit. For her, not me. Modesty is the rule at our house, so I waited outside the door while she changed. I saw women of all shapes, sizes and ages entering and exiting dressing rooms with all  manner of underthings and swimwear. You could hear comments, some to themselves, some from small children who were accompanying their mothers into the inner sanctum, "Mommy, I wanna braw..." Soon enough, my sweet. Soon enough.

Then, I overhead one woman asking the salesgirl. "Do you have this push-up in a 34 Double D?" Say what?? Even the salesgirl hesitated for a second and said, "I'll check, but I doubt if we carry it. Usually if you're that 'blessed' you don't need anything to enhance it." Or something to that effect. She definitely used the word "blessed."

I looked down at my own chest and thought, I must have been absent the day they were handing out boobie blessings. On the bright side--I know for a fact that there are lots of push-up bras in a 34A. 

Ann Nichols posted the other day about clothes memories and she nonchalantly mentioned an article of clothing she liked because it made her breasts look smaller. I don't like her anymore.

Men have their own size issues, but the discrepancy is far smaller than it is for women. Think about it. While men can make themselves feel inadequate by obessesing over the difference of an inch or two, women get to compare almost massive side-by-side differences.

Any really large breasted woman will tell you, it's a curse, not a blessing. And I agree. I've known a couple who had to resort to breast reduction surgery. Given a choice between this and that, I'd stick with what I've got. But, almost any small-breasted woman will tell you that the other end of the spectrum is a curse as well. Clothes never fit well, especially dresses and one-piece swimsuits. Few clothes are made for bodies with a top that's two sizes smaller than the bottom.

You can opt for padding, but then, when I was single and dating, there was always that moment of truth. It could turn ugly. My least favorite memory was the guy who, as I exposed myself both literally and figuratively said, "You have really small breasts." No shit, Sherlock. The perfect rejoinder would, of course, have been to comment about his shortcomings. But, unfortunately, he had none. On a scale of 1-10. He was an 11. Probably why he was so arrogant.

Then there was the guy who, bless his pea-pickin' heart, thought he was being complimentary, when he said, "I like small breasts." It felt like a slap in the face.

I went through a phase in the 80s, when I figured why wear a bra? What is it exactly I'm trying to support here? That phase ended abruptly when I realized the guys in the mailroom were acting like they'd been shot with a stun gun as I bent over and my loose top gave a panoramic view of what was underneath. Men.

Breast implants were not so common then. Only actresses and socialites had their breasts "done." If I was in my 20's or 30's now, I wouldn't be sitting here posting, I would be calling up my plastic surgeon, making an appointment. I even mentioned it to my husband a few years ago, but he let me know I was too old for such nonsense. Thanks, Hon.

To his credit, it never seemed to bother him. I do remember once shortly after he came to this country,  and before his English had reached the advanced level, I was changing and he looked at me and said, "You're so sneaky." Translation: "You're so skinny." I have a feeling he might have been referring to more than just my rib cage, but I didn't pursue it.

My "condition" is a genetic hand-me-down from my mother. I'm her, on a larger scale. My daughter has been spared this fate. And as ridiculous as it may seem to the male readers or to the women reading who actually have something to fill out a "braw," I was thrilled when she came out of the dressing room to show me the swimsuit and I had to tell her, "You're hanging out of that top. You'll need a bigger size."