I'm about to mark another Friday off on the calendar and still no work. I don't really count the $150 blogging assignment that came my way yesterday. Better than nothing, I guess. But barely. This is strange new territory for me. The ground is shifting beneath my feet and I'm not up to earthquake code.

For 25 years I have worked as a freelance writer and editor. Made money. Supported my family. For a variety of reasons, I have always been the chief breadwinner of the family. Through several presidential administrations, recessions, the dot.com bust, 9/11 and any number of Chicken Little economic predictions, I have always managed to find work and pay the bills. When we lived in New York, even working full-time wasn't always quite enough, but I worked. I got up early and glued myself to the computer and cranked out stories as fast and furious as I could. We always had a roof over our heads and Con Edison never cut off our electric supply.

This time is different. I can feel it. And I'm clueless as to why. I network. I go to meetings. I email. The feedback is always the same. Awesome credentials. We love your writing. Just don't have anything right now. But I know the work is out there. I see content everywhere. Someone is cranking that shit out. Just not me.

I've always specialized in health and nutrition topics. That's what my three degrees are in and that's where my expertise is focused. Now, I'm trying to think outside the box. Going to a media career conference in New York next week, followed by a blogging conference in the hope of stirring up some new income-generating ideas. (Using FF miles and staying with a friend to cut costs.)

In my professional world, it's wise put up a front while you look for work--you must appear as if you don't really need the work, even though you're desperate for income. Even as I write this, I imagine I'm lessening my chances of finding work even more as prospective clients read my words and think, "What a loser!"

But I needed to vent my frustrations before I end yet another week with nothing to show for it but another 35+ emails in my "sent" box with bio attached describing the 1,000,000+ income-producing words I've written in my career, how I'd be pleased as punch to be of service and how I can be reached anyhow, anytime, anywhere.

And yet, my ears are still buzzing with the sounds of silence.