jay leffew

jay leffew
Sant Rosa, California, USA
September 02
GayFamilyValues Hello everyone, Welcome to the official Gay Family Values blogg by the Depfox family of YouTube. Many of you know that we were a private family Living in Northern California Who began making YouTube videos to help fight the passage of California's Proposition 8 banning gay marriage in our state constitution. Those videos were meant to show our life as an average, everyday gay family. We hoped that in showing our lives that we could help dispell many of the bad stereotypes about gay families and gay people in generall. We couldn't have imagined what would happen as a result of those first videos. We began to get tons of emails asking questions, showing support, and sharing stories of tragedy and hope. This blog will be a little different in that we will offer our perspective, as a gay family, on current events in life, gay news, the struggle for marriage equality, and everything in between. And...yes...we promise...it won't all be Youtube related. Please enjoy our crazy, disfunctionally slanted view of life and please visit us at the links posted on the right at our new site: www.Gay-family-values.com and were it all began, on Youtube.

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OCTOBER 17, 2011 5:42PM

Right To Love....Just Don't Pray

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Right To Love....Just Don't Pray

Many of my readers may already be aware that our family has been the focus of a documentary about Prop 8 and our YouTube activism called Right To Love: An American Family. The movie has been in production for quite a while and I am happy to report that it is   nearing completion and should be ready in time to premiere at the Sundance Film Festival. In preparation for release...Jayebird productions put together a new teaser trailer which I have posted above.

Now the reason I bring this up today is not really to bump the trailer but more to discuss an issue that has frustrated both my husband and myself. We have been sending this trailer out to any gay blogs we can think of in the hopes of highlighting the project, but they have been kicking it back because there is a scene with us saying grace around the dinner table. Now....blogs can pick and choose what they want to promote, and probably get inundated with a ton of requests from people asking them to promote their personal projects, I won't fault anyone for trying for controling their own content. The part that gets me, is that one blog admitted that it was the prayer specifically that made them uncomfortable. That is incredibly frustrating to me and my husband who see walls of posts on the blogs about celebrities coming out and how to check out hot guys on google maps....but no one wants to touch a project that could help change the way people see gay families because they are uncomfortable with it's rather tame and low key religious element.

My question to my readers is....Are we wrong to be frustrated by this?  It seems that we focus alot of sex, celebritities, tragedies, and hate mongers...that stuff brings the readers and lights up the comment boards....but when it comes to more positive projects, no one has any interest. Take a look at the trailer and decide for yourself. What is in there that is so provocative?....or is showing our everyday life in film format just not as provocative Zachary Quinto coming out?  You decide and let me know what you think...

Until next time dear readers....

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You have a right to pray or hope all you like. The gay blogs have a right to feel uncomfortable with the prayer scene.

I am straight...and I back the right of gays to marry. I thought the praying scene sucked.

If I had a vote...I'd shit-can that part.
If the prayer is authentic for you, then the people who have problems with it are just revealing their own biases. As a Queer clergy woman, I am often faced with people who see a contradiction between being Queer and religious. They're the ones with the blinders on. Yes, there is homophobia in some aspects of (some) established religions, but that's a human sin; God loves all God's children!
I am gay, and one of the people who is uncomfortable with a film about gay people including overt religion. While yes, there are religious gay people and clergy,etc, what you have to understand is this: the plight of the LGBT community is rooted in one place: religion. Fundamentalist Christians run every anti- gay hate group in America. Many of us have been harmed in brutal, personal ways by our own family and friends and the Bible was used to justify that.

While some of you may be both religious and gay, the majority of us are not only not religious, but have problems with it on a pretty serious level, and with good reason. People who are both religious and gay often, in order to reconcile that, choose to ignore the harm religion does to this community. Of course, I respect your right to faith, but it makes me very uncomfortable to see a film about gay people with overtly religious aspects.