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6 years, 3 months on Open Salon__________________________

designanator

designanator
Location
New York, New York,
Birthday
April 22

DECEMBER 28, 2012 7:58AM

Looking back at 2012 musically with Open Salon Rock Group

Rate: 3 Flag

 

What a year it was with so many Republican contenders vying for the White House. Here's a look back at the songs we played for them. The music, commentary, and lyrics are presented fr0m the first part of the series and ending at the bottom with the last song presented....

 

The field of Republican contenders for the presidency offers a special opportunity to match well known songs with each candidate. I'll be starting with Newt Gingrich and Herman Cain in this first installment.

 

Obviously not played by us, here's Rick Astley's Never Gonna Give You Up seems a perfect match for Newt when considering his ultimate treatment to his first two wives. Take yourself back in time a few years and have a listen:

 

 

 

Carly Simon's Haven't Got Time For The Pain seemed the perfect song for Herman Cain when seen through the eyes of his female accusers. Because we changed the lyrics slightly, the Open Salon Rock Group recorded this instrumental version recently. We have changed the title of the song to Haven't Got Time For The Cain and also included the new lyrics below our YouTube recording:

 

Haven't Got Time For The Cain

All those crazy nights when I cried myself to sleep
Now melodrama never makes me weep anymore
'Cause I haven't got time for the Cain
I haven't got room for the Cain
I haven't the need for the Cain
Not since I've known you

You showed me how, how to leave myself behind
How to turn down the noise in my mind
Now I haven't got time for the Cain
I haven't got room for the Cain
I haven't the need for the Cain
Not since I've known you

Suffering was the only thing that made me feel I was alive
Though that's just how much it cost to survive in this world
'Til you showed me how, how to fill my stomach with pizza
How to open up and drink in all that white wine
Pouring down from the heaven
I haven't got time for the Cain
I haven't got room for the Cain
I haven't the need for the Cain
Not since I've known you

 

 

 

 

For Part 2 of Tunes for the presidential candidates the Open Salon Rock Group, along with flutist, Claire, and fourteen of her talented friends from school, present She Blinded Me With Junk Science.

Those of you who are fans of Thomas Dolby will recognize this '80s hit right away. On a side note, it was around the year 2000 when I was a beta tester for Beatnik.com, which was a company Dolby started in California that produced audio and music software for web pages and a few years after that ringtone software for cellphones.

 

In the previous post we handled Newt Gingrich and Herman Cain. Today Michele Bachmann will be the focus of our musical statement.

Here's a quote from Mother Jones that appeared in September:

 

QuotesBachmann, who is no stranger to conspiracy theories and junk science, is a little late to the party when it comes to the debilitating effects of vaccines. The charge leveled by the woman in Tampa—that vaccines can cause mental defects—was first raised in the late 1990s, and has been consistently debunked ever since."

 

 

 

 

 

With Herman Cain dropping out of the race yesterday we have shelved our plans to perform another song based on him which would have been More Than A Herman as an adaptation of The Bee Gee's More Than A Woman. The original can be seen below from Saturday Night Fever:

 

 

Meanwhile, here's a song borrowed from The Beatles and given a new title for this election cycle: Callista In The Sky With Diamonds. For the power couple that has helped Tiffany's bottom line immeasurably over the past few years:

 

 

 

Herman Cain has shown it can be done...

The Open Salon Rock Group Presents:

50 Ways To Leave Your Campaign

 

(Many thanks to Paul Simon for the inspiration)

 

 

The problem is the Republicans she said to me
The answer is easy if you take it logically
I'd like to help you to be free of your pain
There must be fifty ways to leave your campaign

She said it's really not my habit to intrude
Furthermore
I hope my meaning won't be lost or misconstrued
But I'll repeat myself at the risk of being crude
There must be fifty ways to leave your campaign
Fifty ways to leave your campaign

You just leave really quick
Rick

Run like Hell
Michele

You don't need to worry a bit
Mitt

Just get yourself free

Hop on the girl whose cute
Newt
You'll find she's got some loot

Just fly across the pond
Ron
And get yourself gone

You won't feel sick
Rick

Run like Hell
Michele

You don't need to worry a bit
Mitt

Just get yourself free

Hop on the girl whose cute
Newt
You'll find she's got some loot

Just fly across the pond
Ron
And get yourself gone


She said it grieves me so to see you in such pain
I wish there was something I could do to make you smile again
I said I appreciate that and would you please explain
About the fifty ways

She said why don't we both just sleep on it tonight
And I believe in the morning you'll begin to see the light
And then she kissed me and I realized she probably was right
There must be fifty ways to leave your campaign
Fifty ways to leave your campaign

You just leave really quick
Rick

Run like Hell
Michele

You don't need to worry a bit
Mitt

Just get yourself free

Hop on the girl whose cute
Newt
You'll find she's got some loot

Just fly across the pond
Ron
And get yourself gone

You won't feel sick
Rick

Run like Hell
Michele

You don't need to worry a bit
Mitt

Just get yourself free

Hop on the girl whose cute
Newt
You'll find she's got some loot

Just fly across the pond
Ron
And get yourself gone

 

 

 

Creation Queen based on the '80s dance hit Caribbean Queen by Billy Ocean. When it comes to creationism apparently there are many similarities between candidates Bachmann and Rick Santorum. For today's musical interlude Rick loses out and Michele wins.

No lyrics this time around, simply the music...

 

 

 

 

 

 

Out of the box, The Rolling Stones hit of all times, I Can't Get No Satisfaction, seems a good fit for Mitt. Herman Cain is out of the race and now it's Newt Gingrich whose all over the news. When his father ran for president in the '60s, George Romney was hit over and over with the "brainwashing" remark about Vietnam and eventually dropped out leaving us with Nixon as the Republican candidate. Both Nelson Rockefeller and George Romney fell to the left of Nixon on the political spectrum. We simply don't have very many of the Republicans around such as George Romney that we once had and as far as I know Mormonism did not come up in discussion like it has for Mitt, thereby showing how things have changed in over 40 years in the country for the worst when it comes to demonizing people over their religion.

 

Anyway, back to the music...

 

The only lyrics the Open Salon Rock Group changed in the song was the following, although the song was recorded with no vocals. Simply sing along with the music just as with the other tunes we have presented in other recent posts:

When I'm drivin' in my car
And the man comes on the radio
He's tellin' me more and more
About some useless poll information
Supposed to drive my irritation

 
 

 

 

 

It was last year in a post about the summer of '72 that I included that great hit by Traffic entitled Low Spark Of High Heeled Boys as part of the music from that period. With the many songs the Open Salon Rock Group is presenting as we move ever closer to the Iowa caucuses I thought we should put together an instrument version of Low Spark and call it Low Spark Of Low Brow Boys!

Just last evening news came across the wires that Newt Gingrich had a much better performance in the debate than Mitt Romney. Newt was also in the news for saying to the press that the Palestinian people were an "invented" people. A minion of Newt's had to "clarify" that point afterwards.

 

An operative expression for the candidates is something along the lines of "operate brain before putting foot in mouth."

 

ROMNEY AND GINGRICH

 

Here's our instrumental version of Low Spark Of Low Brow Boys for your musical enjoyment. It is the full version about the same length as the live version of Low Spark Of High Heeled Boys that a YouTube member added in October and is included at the bottom of this post.

 

 

 

The Doobie Brothers' hit What A Fool Believes is a song the Open Salon Rock Group recently recorded in a studio owned by a classmate and friend of mine who lives in New Jersey and who happens to be in the music business and who played the trumpet going way back to art school days, was enthusiastic about joining us in this piece that was slightly changed to include the addition of his trumpet accompaniment. The acoustics at his studio made for a crisp recording and I also had an assist from him in the final mixing.

What A Fool Believes is aimed at voters who continually pick candidates that are not in their best self-interest, but they keep voting for these politicians time and time again. Newt and Mitt are the two candidates currently ahead in the polls. Apparently, those voters being polled see some benefit to these two or they would have voiced their approval towards other candidates. Hence, What A Fool Believes...

 

 

 

Rick Perry was not represented by a song that we posted, so here 'ya go Rick!

 

 

 

Meanwhile, thinking back to the last presidential campaign we wanted to throw a song in Sarah Palin's direction. Aiming for the ultimate in elevator/dental office Muzak® we think we hit the right chord with Hall & Oates' Sarah Smile.

 

 

 

 Tah Dah!  The End!

 

 

 

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Comments

Type your comment below:
Hilarious as heck and dead on. I hope you posted this somewhere else where it gets the wider audience it deserves.
I enjoyed many of these the first go-round and it's a welcome thing that you posted them here for new visitors. Great!
I enjoyed many of these the first go-round and it's a welcome thing that you posted them here for new visitors. Great!
Darn. I blew the link format to your post from a year ago, and I certainly didn't intend it twice, but that shouldn't detract from this.
Newt was almost there!!! WEEP!! :D
fun. I love the haven't got time for Cain. nicely done. but I wish you would have sung your lyrics as well.