Maybe you belong to a club.  Maybe you belong to an 'interest group'.  Maybe you associate with Masons, Church Groups, Activist Groups, Ecological Groups, Riverkeepers, Sportsmen, Ballroom Dance Clubs, Public Speaking Clubs, Charity Organizations, Unions, Pubs, Fan Groups, or any other sort of cover under which people connect on a similar element and work to network their personal presence.

Maybe not.  

If you're reading OS, you're a part of a collective writing and reading social organization.  Sit down, buckle in, and get ready to listen to Momma 'dicea.

Every organization that has gatherings that involve more than two people have at least one person who is the designated Peacekeeper.  

When two of the three people are trading shouts of "Pho!" and "Sushi!" the third person says, "Hey, let's go Olive Garden.  They have that Martini that you like and the Soup that you like... and they've got that awesome appetizer that I like.  Sound good?"

We're all freaks and weirdos in this world.  Nobody we know is quite like us and we're always a little defensive about that.  We're always a little worried that the reason that person X doesn't like us is because we're a secret Blue Tupperwear fan.    Even when our own partners don't know about our Blue Tupperwear fetish, we expect that strangers are against us and putting us down because of it.

This is little more than a personal conflict on a daily basis, but when we gather in groups this can turn nasty.

People who run "Public Safety" or "Security" for large group events develop some interesting skills.  They learn how to tell the momentary crazies from the hard-core dangerous people.  They learn how to incorperate the socially retarded into their ranks, teaching them social skills and helping them feel useful and functional.  They learn how to organize a rag tag gang of volunteers into a group that will actually encourage socially healthy behavior and discourage behavior that will cause rifts and horrors within the group.

Sometimes they get to learn how to deal with horrors that are greater than the interpersonal conflicts.  Sometimes they have to deal with the situations that are seriously ugly.  Suicide.  Heart attack leading to death of a person inside a porta-potty in full sunshine in a crowded area.  Child abuse.  Spouse abuse.  Horrible horrible things.  Suddenly these volunteers are snatched from the comfortable world of "One of Us, helping Us Be the Us We Want To Be" and they are tossed into the world of "Potential Charges Regarding Wrongful Death".  

This is suddenly not so fun.  This is no longer just giving 20 hours of your 300 hour vacation to serving the community with whom you choose to vacation.  This is YOU on the stand, under oath, testifying to what you learned and saw and how you reacted.  This is YOU responsible for the things you did when you didn't really have any training for dealing with those things.

And sometimes, even when things are going good, and you're doing your job as a peacekeeper amongst your friends and peers and fellow hobiests, and you face some gal or dude who challenges your authority to suggest a more gentle path for that individual's behavior.  That individual says, "Do you know who I am‽"  All up with the interrobang and all.  Like because of what they've done or what social status they've earned, that person deserves more leeway in behavior or has more weight in any argument over what you've witnessed them doing.  

This always backfires.  Because the person who has the most leverage in the "do you know who I am‽" argument is almost always the person who really should know best how to deal with the conflict situation that has required the involvement of the community's security volunteers. 

If you've got the status of a "Who I Am" you should damn well be on the side of being able to recognize that a security volunteer is going to question your behavior for the good of others and not to attack you personally.  You should know that that volunteer is hoping for a resolution that involves no violence and no chaos.  You should know that your example of how you deal with those volunteers will set a standard for those who look up to you because of "Who You Are".  

Now, believe it or not, this essay is not inspired by the recent Harvard Area antics.  It's based on my experiences with a hobbiest group.  A group in which individuals are honored for their service and work with a sort of "rank".  That rank generally involves more responsibility than privlidge.  A person of rank can be expected to take trash from a new person or an ignorant person in style and grace, and to turn the situation into a learning experience without letting her own sense of self-worth override common courtesy.  

When someone is cornered and frightened and resorts to the phrase "Don't you know who I am‽"  it is well and good time to back off and give that person some space.  He or she is really frightened and is holding on to personal identity as the last shield of comfort.

When someone pushes us into a corner and we find ourselves starting to say, "Don't you know who I am‽" it is time for us to recognize that the situation is not about who we are or how we identify ourselves.  

That is the point at which we are shown clearly that the issue is an issue outside of personal identiy, outside of personal intention, and is an issue of communication and perception.  

Issues of communication and perception are never won with phrases like, "You know what you did." or "You don't even care what you did!"

That's the time when we've got to take it back down a few notches and say, "Let's look at this from a different angle.  You're scared of me, I'm scared of you.  Let's not hurt each other right now and figure out how we can connect with one another and start communicating in a meaningful way."

When you get pulled over by a cop don't think of the situation from your "Dude, busted!" point of view.  Rather look at it from the cop's point of view for a moment.  He's pulled someone over, he doesn't know you, he doesn't know that you're harmless and willing to work with him.  For all he knows, you've got a gun pointed at his head as he walks up.  Keep your hands at 10 and 2 on the wheel and roll your window down and wait to get your paperwork until he asks for it.  

Most of being human and succeeding in society involves not scaring other people and not reacting scared when reacting calm will raise the chances of happier, healthier, longer lives.  

Most of all, if you ever have the urge to say, "Do you know who I am‽" step back a moment and remember that you're just a person and the other person is just a person.

And if someone else should say, "Do you know who I am‽" step back and give them the time to gather their safety of identity and accept that person as they present themselves.

There is the story of the lady who was driving some frineds home from a bar.  Her friends had gotten rowdy and drunk.  She had trouble marshalling them to the car and getting them home, and she was going a bit fast to get them home and out of her hair.  

As she saw the flashing lights in her rear view mirror, she realized that she was in trouble. She didn't have her ID on her that night.  

When the cop walked up and shined his flashlight in her window, she said, "Don't you know who I am‽"

The cop shook his head and said, "No, Ma'am, I don't."

She responded, "I am the designated driver."  

He watched her and the group of drunks in her car and decided to let her go on her way with no further verification.

Don't you know who I am‽  No.  You don't.  So take a moment to learn and study and think.  It can be worth more than you can imagine to take that one little moment to see past your preconceived notions.