JANUARY 23, 2009 10:45AM

SLEEPER AND THE NEW AGE OF TECHNOLOGY

Rate: 0 Flag

Woody Allen did a movie many decades ago where is character found himself in the future.  Usual stuff. Quick punch lines. Like standing outside of a McDonalds where a sign states: Over 10 billion sold--or some such number.  Probably have been 10 billion sold by now. One of the worst hamburgers I ever ate.

WSJ notes today in its Tech section:

This will be a big year for new operating systems. Apple plans a new version of its Macintosh operating system, to be called Snow Leopard. Palm plans an all-new smart phone operating system called Palm WebOS. But the new release that will affect more users than any other will be Windows 7, the latest major edition of Microsoft's dominant platform.

Microsoft hasn't announced an official release date for Windows 7, but I would be surprised if it wasn't available to consumers by this fall. The company has just released the first public beta, or test, version of the software, and I've been trying it out on two laptops. One is a Lenovo ThinkPad lent me by Microsoft with Windows 7 already installed, and the other is my own Sony Vaio, which I upgraded to Windows 7 from Windows Vista.

Personal Technology columnist Walt Mossberg provides a preview of the coming Microsoft Windows 7 operating software, which he says offers significant improvements over the unpopular Windows Vista.

2125:  The word on the III Poderino is that Microsoft is about to announce the official release of Windows 6511, but I would not be surprised if it wasn't made available to the First Tier by this fall.  The second and third tier will not see this new version until 2127;  probably sometime in June.

Sanja Guptino, spokesperson for Microsoft, interviewed on C-SPAN CCCI, stated that the new tech is not specifically geered to the latest technologies involving contact lenses, but is hearing aid friendly and completely compatable to the eyeglass tech we began to see last year.

Speaking from Bushgrad, Iraq, the world headquarters of Microsoft, Guptino announced that the chip implant procedure is relatively simple and only barely interferes with the left frontal lobe unlike 6509 which led to some rectal bleeding and some memory loss (brain memory loss. There has been no real case of internet memory loss since the turn of the century when the Zombie problem arose and some 50,000 third tier citizens were found mysteriously missing.)  The implants will be covered under Medicareaid Blue Cross plans but not the Blue Shield plans.  However, since only Third Tier citizens are covered under Blue Shield, The issue has become irrelevant for the moment.

Bill Gates, who was revived only a decade ago (after being cryrogenically frozen some 75 years ago, after a mishap with a pencil), will make the formal announcement to the First and Second tier populations sometime in August.

Abby Smith, official representative of the TTRG (The Third Tier Rights Group) announced that her group will lead a protest at Microsoft's Domestic Headquarters in Obama, Illinois. She stated in a Windows 57 memo:

The right wing hacks in this country have continually left the most populous group in America out in the cold for too long. While the First Tier has had the opportunity to blink their eyes and receive the entire Wikipedia in a matter of nanoseconds, we, the Third Tier are still stuck with keyboards and outdated purpleberries.  We represent the domestic workers, the plumbers, the sewage workers and the accountants and we demand access to the New Information Age.  The brain implants installed at birth for those of us in our thirties, provide nothing but static ridden phone converstions and, lets face us, the opportunity for the Immigration Authorities to constantly monitor our thoughts.  I was involuntarily attracted to a certain man last Thursday, and the IA came down on me like a ton of bricks because the object of my momentary attraction was Second Tier. I mean, how was I to know that?

Republican Senator Lou Dobbs Del Rios demurred to the accusation from Smith:

The Third Tier should be grateful they all are not sent to the Nixon Gulag in Saskatchuan. All they ever do is complain.  They should be happy they no longer have to live in the European National Republic anymore.  They should be happy that they have 65 hour workweeks instead of the 90 hour workweeks they suffered under only fifteen years ago. 

The vote. They are not entitled to the vote... (The rest of Del Rios' rant is irrelevant to these discussions. Ed)

Meanwhile  APPLE 55 will be made available to all tiers, without reservation. But they are slow--several nanoseconds delay during some hours of the day--and the users are stuck constantly looking at their watch faces which has caused some 100,000 authomobile mishaps just last year.  But one good facet of their tech is that one can play pong with the Chinese while Gaggling (TM) ESPN-Wiki for the latest dog fighting results.

President Chelsey Clinton refused to answer questions concerning the rights of the Third Tier, noting that pending legislation must be passed for the Second Tier before any further review of human rights can be addressed.

Editors' Note:  There has arisen concern over certain behavioral problems with the Windows 6312 series implants. Right side spasms have become noticeable but disappear following proper defacation. If you readers recall, the 6312 series implants were only made available to Second Tier citizens anyway and there have been less than 300,000 deaths related to this problem. Removal of the implants should be covered under Blue Cross sometime next year.

 

Your tags:

TIP:

Enter the amount, and click "Tip" to submit!
Recipient's email address:
Personal message (optional):

Your email address:

Comments

Type your comment below: