Mother was watching "The Bachelor" last night. Mother knows where and when to find every insipid, demeaning and insulting show there is.  When she has had enough vodka & vinegars, she passes out and I get to watch what I want. I didn't even know "The Bachelor" was still on. I saw it a year or two ago and it was exactly the same. I can't stand shows with gratuitous crying. I hate "Survivor" for the same reason. Especially the Tiki torch thing with it's spooky and dramatic atmosphere. Every show has a Tiki Torch moment and you are supposed to be on the edge of your seat, chewing your finger nails. In "The Bachelor" their "Tiki Torch" moment is (I think) a line up of women and something to do with roses. On "Big Brother", it's that voting thing and a key and Head of Household, but it's really just a Tiki Torch moment. On The Bachelor, there's way more crying than any other show, except maybe "The Biggest Loser". I love that show, but not for the inspirational moment after moment, they are shooting for. I just like seeing people that large running and fighting over donuts. That sounds bad, but that just might be the other "element" the producers count on. They might as well just have the overweight folks jump up and down for the whole show, instead of just half of it. Any hoo, I was watching the Bachelor and these two kids were just crying and crying. I started laughing, which made Mother fume and glare at me. "If you don't like it you can certainly go somewhere else!" she said. But I was enjoying it, just not how I was supposed to. The guy was crying because he had really come to love this girl but just had to pick someone else because it just was wrong. The girl was crying because she understood that it had to be.  Maybe not, but I was paying as close attention as I could with out swallowing some glass. There is a message the show is trying to deliver, to hook you, but I am receiving a different one. By the way, I have to tell you, if people  are smiling, but crying at the same time, it's more serious and deeper than you thought. I know because I watch a lot of inane TV. When the guy and girl walked away from each other and then stopped and turned and stared at each other again, I laughed and Mother picked up a labrador figurine like she was going to throw it. Last time she threw a bell shaped like a cockerspaniel head and it hit the TV and the knob fell off and now we have a pair of pliers to turn the knob, but every now and then you get a shock, which isn't supposed to happen. Sometimes we "get" cable. We borrow it and then take the wires down after our show. There's a show where people run an obstacle course where you get punched and bounce on giant balls and fall in the mud and get sprayed by cold water. That's more meaningful to me than REAL DRAMA. When they cry on The Bachelor, Mother begins to sniffle and honk. She turns up her oxygen. I remember when swell st-coms began to have "special moments" in them that edumacated and enlightened the public. I think All In The Family started that and it only got worse. Special moments usually signal the end of a show. When Urkel tearfully confessed to Steve his addiction to masturbation, well, you knew it was all over. I always hated Family Matters  anyway. Now if a bachelor would tearfully confess his masturbation habit to a girl on The Bachelor, I would watch it. Then she would smile and tell him, through her tears, that it was ok. I always hated that show with Donald Trump cuz I always hated Donald Trump. What was it called, You're Fired? No, THE APPRENTICE. Too much crying. Joan Rivers never looked yuckier than when she was swearing and crying. Plus I hate Donald Trump. "Intervention" is a pretty good gawking show with tons of crying. Addicts sure are whiny, though. Then "Undercover Boss" is not bad, cuz I like to see executives clean toilets and stuff and who doesn't? Lots and lots of crying there. They don't exploit the real slackers and only show the tender moments. I would show the guys who are nothing but disgruntled and show the undercover bosses how to steal and slack off. There are too many crying shows too even begin to list out there. I like Americas Funniest Videos. It's always funny when people get hit in the balls at a pinata party. Unless it's me getting hit in the balls cuz then it's a crying show. Once in a while my bicycle chain slips and I land on that bar and I stop right there and just stand still, frozen in time like an ice man, making little sounds only a dog can hear and they start barking all over the world and my glasses get all foggy.Then my special moment is over and off I go.