Divorce Bard's Blog

...Iambic pentameter is for the ear. Read it out loud.

Divorce Bard

Divorce Bard
Location
pretty how town, USA
Birthday
February 13
Bio
While the ashes of marriage #2 were cooling, I began a journal here in verse, to keep myself out of trouble. So far so good, and one day at a time. I took a hiatus this past January, and I missed it terribly. Writing daily had changed the way I think - not my opinions, but the process of thinking itself. So here I am back again, and hungry. I began with three rules: (1) Iambic pentameter, (2) Perfect rhyme, and (3) It had to be true (no hyperbole). I hereby amend rule number 3: If I'm writing about myself, yes, it has to be true. But it doesn't, if I want to tell a story.

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MARCH 30, 2010 9:41PM

Neighbors. Tuesday Mar 30, 2010

Rate: 7 Flag

The fam'ly up the stairs has cracked apart.
The dad moved out a couple days ago.
The mom is home alone, her broken heart
Inaudible.  Impossible to know
Her state of mind, evolving night by night.
She climbs the steps and fumbles with her key,
And draws her blinds against the dusky light.
Just move along folks.  Nothing here to see.

 

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Yes, I remember that stage. One has to go through it to get through it. And one can.

Take care.
wow. this is my favorite so far. Somehow you manage to show all the details of this series of moments. I feel how they could hurt. really impressive.
I can feel her pain, you portray it so well, unfortunately because you probably know it too well. You just get so much said, DB, so concisely. This is great.
I am in complete agreement with Caroline. Every word. Impressive.
Losing the i in family

fumbling with the keys
you got me, db, sadly maybe,

got me good
Hello everyone. Thank you for coming by.

waking: yes, you described the stage well in your First Four Weeks After The Break-Up. I'm still stuck on "when you tried to swallow the sadness that wouldn't go down." Thank you for commenting here.

Caroline: It's so funny -- you and waking commented so soon after I finished the poem. I was still looking at compositional problems in it, and then you said it was your favorite! This was a very lovely surprise. Thank you.

tril - I wonder, I can't know her pain, or yours, or anyone's. But yes, I know mine, and I do know what normal everyday details look like. I've been surprised at the deep reactions here -- I suspect that everyone here has seen these details before.

scupper - when a little, 8-line poem gets a compliment like that, from you and caroline, I have to go back and re-read it to make sure I didn't miss something. Honestly, all I did was think about my neighbor, and the thing just sort of rolled out. I am very sad for her, her husband, and their daughter.

kim - Thank you so much for visiting. Please come back, it's nice to have more company. I'm just guessing here... are you a friend of scuppers' ?

Thanks again, everyone.
@Kim "Losing the i in family" Wow - DB - didn't catch that. I love the little intracacies of your writing.
trilogy, kim: yes, I missed that. I've gotten into the habit of using an apostrophe where the letter must be dropped (even though we already do it in normal conversation), to maintain the metric foot. "Family" is ambiguous, and can be either a 2-syllable or 3-syllable word. Thanks for noticing another facet.
db scupper and me we go way back

clear into the week before last week,

sometimes even further,

depending on the whether.

loving having found you db,

and i love your avatar, very much.

really, that could be matisse.
The repetition of a daily life, yet with the anguish so plainly written accentuates the pain, the utter pain of this time.
Hi Kim. It was the twin baked pears on spinach posts that gave it away.

And Rita. Thanks for looking in. Yes, the repetition. For a while it's the only comfort available.
Aw. I hope she finds a way to deal with the pain as you creatively have.