Divorce Bard's Blog

...Iambic pentameter is for the ear. Read it out loud.

Divorce Bard

Divorce Bard
Location
pretty how town, USA
Birthday
February 13
Bio
While the ashes of marriage #2 were cooling, I began a journal here in verse, to keep myself out of trouble. So far so good, and one day at a time. I took a hiatus this past January, and I missed it terribly. Writing daily had changed the way I think - not my opinions, but the process of thinking itself. So here I am back again, and hungry. I began with three rules: (1) Iambic pentameter, (2) Perfect rhyme, and (3) It had to be true (no hyperbole). I hereby amend rule number 3: If I'm writing about myself, yes, it has to be true. But it doesn't, if I want to tell a story.

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APRIL 23, 2010 1:39AM

Ache. Thursday Apr 22, 2010

Rate: 13 Flag

The kids are both asleep.  I hear my son.
I think he said "I want a cookie."  Then,
"Because."  The conversation, just begun,
Then faded into nothing.  Bigger men
Dream also of desire unfulfilled,
And explanation, woefully unskilled.

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Comments

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awww. lines one through four capture disappointment. longing. and sadness in high definition. it throbs.

even though in reality it may mean absolutely nothing more than a child wanting what all children want, in this piece the cookie seems significant. serves as a good piece of symobolism. comfort. comfort food. a desire for something sweet. yup. it does.
I like the analogy here DB. Life is sometimes very lonely. Cookies do help.
I too was thinking of the cookie as representing comfort. Well done
I love how you take something like this and see a bigger picture: "Bigger men Dream also of desire unfulfilled"

I still remember my 5-yr-old son's first nightmare a couple of years ago. He was sobbing when I ran into the room. I woke him with, "what's wrong?!" He choked out, "my cookie broke!"

kids and their cookies - hey?

thanks for this sweet thing...
Hi everyone. I'm so sorry I haven't been around to answer your very welcome comments. Been a little too 24/7.

Renatta, welcome back. Yes, I could hear the longing in his voice, in his sleep. It baked me a poem in 30 minutes, at 1:00am.

Hello rita. Yes they do help, and as a grownup I can get them on demand. Not so easy with the bigger things, eh?

Hi tril, your daily comments have been very affirming while I've been so uncommunicative. Yes, just like cookies.

This metaphor is so much FUN!

Hi Y. It all gets reduced to wanting a treat from someone you love, doesn't it?

Thank you all so very much. I'm very glad you came by.
The thing that's so incredible about what you create is that you manage to take a form that has been abused by so many and become hackneyed and heavy on the corn, and made it entirely your own. Somehow you touch something so deep using so little space, but so much feeling. I truly feel your pain. Just know that. Rated (a little tearfully).
I appreciate that Caroline Hagood pointed me your way. _r
Very compact, this. Very well done.
As my sister always says, "It's not about the cookie." I love how you use the confines of verse to give meaning to your pain. I tried to do the same thing in "Gecko Theology," using a sonnet to express a grief I've managed to transfer onto a family pet. Sometimes it feels like we would just blow away if we didn't have something surrounding us, holding us into a structure of meaning. Thank you for this.
Life made more poignant in iambic pentam.
You prove (yet again) that less is more. Powerful writing.
Nice to find you. I love this. Divorce can be hard. To write about it must be therapeutic. Great Stuff!