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...Iambic pentameter is for the ear. Read it out loud.

Divorce Bard

Divorce Bard
Location
pretty how town, USA
Birthday
February 13
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While the ashes of marriage #2 were cooling, I began a journal here in verse, to keep myself out of trouble. So far so good, and one day at a time. I took a hiatus this past January, and I missed it terribly. Writing daily had changed the way I think - not my opinions, but the process of thinking itself. So here I am back again, and hungry. I began with three rules: (1) Iambic pentameter, (2) Perfect rhyme, and (3) It had to be true (no hyperbole). I hereby amend rule number 3: If I'm writing about myself, yes, it has to be true. But it doesn't, if I want to tell a story.

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MAY 14, 2010 12:18AM

Maybe. Thursday May 13, 2010

Rate: 7 Flag

We had some coffee.  I did, anyway.
She had some tea, and then had lots to say,
And I had lots to listen: we may move.
If all the work She's done were soon to prove
At last successful, we could up and go.
Another maybe yes, or maybe no:
A continent away -- kids, husband, wife,
In separate cars or planes, each separate life.

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Comments

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The sense of increasing isolation is strong here, as is the narrator's confusion. A good job of showing what a yes/no/maybe predicament is like.
"A continent away": the physical gulf that may be symbolizing the emotional gulf that is (for the one-time couple) and that you fear (with the kids). Wrenching.
Maybe. The power of the word. Do you worry or do you wait? And until you know, you love. Can only hope that She understands all you are and all you mean to your children each and every day as well as all they mean to you. No maybes there.
Great Work Bard~
It hurts to read...in a good way. R
Hello all. Thank you for all of your thoughtful comments on this one. It's difficult to figure out exactly how I feel about this, and it's helpful to hear echoes come back from the poem, taking note of this or that item.

ladyslipper, thank you. The yes/no/maybe part is the most bewildering.

Pilgrim, you're dead-on. For about a half an hour I was going to "another coast". "A continent away" seems so much stronger, and puts it into a better scale. And apparently it gets the message across.

anna1, the truth is the She does understand. And yes, the word "maybe" carries a lot of power.

scanner! It's very nice to see you pop up now and then. Thanks for reading.

Hello Nikki Stern. You're new to my neighborhood, aren't you? Please come by anytime. I'm glad you liked the poem.

Thanks as always, everyone. The mere fact of your reading these posts is so very gratifying. More to come.
i love the poem but don't like the ambiguity and uncertainess that it leaves for you, my friend.
trilogy, thanks. Your sentiment is deeply appreciated.
When we become the flotsam and the jetsom of other people's lives, db, we need to re-assess our place in the overall tide of things, I think.
I'm for holding on, where you are until the moves are made, and you regain what little control you had at the outset.
You are no pawn. You are King in your children's lives.

Good poem.