Divorce Bard's Blog

...Iambic pentameter is for the ear. Read it out loud.

Divorce Bard

Divorce Bard
Location
pretty how town, USA
Birthday
February 13
Bio
While the ashes of marriage #2 were cooling, I began a journal here in verse, to keep myself out of trouble. So far so good, and one day at a time. I took a hiatus this past January, and I missed it terribly. Writing daily had changed the way I think - not my opinions, but the process of thinking itself. So here I am back again, and hungry. I began with three rules: (1) Iambic pentameter, (2) Perfect rhyme, and (3) It had to be true (no hyperbole). I hereby amend rule number 3: If I'm writing about myself, yes, it has to be true. But it doesn't, if I want to tell a story.

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MAY 18, 2010 12:49AM

Baseball. Monday May 17, 2010

Rate: 8 Flag

A springtime evening watching little league.
Among the parents of the other team,
I notice one.  A mom.  She could intrigue
A separated dad, if he could deem
Himself receptive to intrigue; or more,
She could be beautiful.  Her easy way
In cotton, in the jacket that she wore,
How unattentively her shoulder lay
A little clothed, and then a little bare
While twilight sifted coolness in the air
And she did nothing special with her hair
Could leave him thinking later, if he could,
Of this and that, and things he maybe would.

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"While twilight sifted coolness in the air
And she did nothing special with her hair"

I like the way you take an ordinary evening, and make it memorable.
I love when I feel my mouth involuntarily turning into a smile as I'm reading._r
Ah, the blissful breezes of possibility while watching a baseball game.
Go for it Bard! Wow!

(Damn, I wonder if anyone has ever thought of me like that at the soccer field. I can only wish.)

*blush*
ohhh, DB!
"if he could deem Himself receptive to intrigue; or more,"
intriguing!
It's getting better, db ...
I like the modal verbs and how they go with intrigue (and deem). I like how it ends with would. And "While twilight sifted coolness in the air" is lovely.
Hi everyone. Thanks for your patience, I know I've been a long time responding (both here, and at the previous post). So. Don't you just love baseball? My son made a few really impressive outs, as well -- now and then, it's like he conjures the ball out of the air, right into his glove.

ladyslipper, thanks for saying that. These last few months I have been falling in love with the ordinary. It's been a long journey back. I also love homework, and pizza at the shop on the corner.

Joan H., well hello! It's so nice to get a comment like that -- I finished writing at about 1:00 a.m., and was too cross-eyed to judge the poem as any good or not. An involuntary reaction is an excellent indicator.

anna1, yes... possibility. For now, that is quite enough. And the baseball of course.

Linnnn.... if you were a separated mom at the side of the field, I might have gotten up the courage by now to ask you out for coffee. Now you know what I was thinking, too.

trilogy, indeed. I don't give myself permission yet. Too many loose ends remaining. But, you know, if? just sayin.

Kim. You know what? You may be right. But it's all still overshadowed by a need to get my economic house in order. I am so glad this place is free.

Best to all, gotta go, got tonight's to write. ETA is 1:00 a.m. (again). Otherwise, I'll be back tomorrow night.
hey c&v, you slipped in while I was responding! And oh dear, I've forgotten what a modal verb is. I may have to run by the Wikipedia store on the way to the poem shop.

Yeah, you know? It was twilight "peppering" coolness for a while last night, but that just seemed better for a hot day, or something. And I'm not sure if I could have written that last couplet without being intoxicated by sleepiness. I'm glad you liked it.