Divorce Bard's Blog

...Iambic pentameter is for the ear. Read it out loud.

Divorce Bard

Divorce Bard
pretty how town, USA
February 13
While the ashes of marriage #2 were cooling, I began a journal here in verse, to keep myself out of trouble. So far so good, and one day at a time. I took a hiatus this past January, and I missed it terribly. Writing daily had changed the way I think - not my opinions, but the process of thinking itself. So here I am back again, and hungry. I began with three rules: (1) Iambic pentameter, (2) Perfect rhyme, and (3) It had to be true (no hyperbole). I hereby amend rule number 3: If I'm writing about myself, yes, it has to be true. But it doesn't, if I want to tell a story.


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JULY 22, 2010 1:05AM

Yes, Virginia. Wednesday July 21, 2010

Rate: 7 Flag

I'm splitting "camp commuting" with a neighbor.
Her kids are in a program with my two.
We get to minimize a little labor,
And I hear things I hadn't, hitherto.

The daughter of the neighbor lost a tooth.
She didn't tell her mom - she felt suspicious.
She thought she'd just investigate the truth
(She isn't one for being superstitious),

And put it in the customary place.
She went to sleep.  Now I think this is funny,
'Cause I can see th'expression on her face:
She woke up, and there wasn't any money.

And now she's telling ev'ryone she knows,
And smashing up the myths we love the most.
I thought: she'll really keep me on my toes,
The way she turned that fairy into toast.

This afternoon her brother took the lance,
And set his eye on Santa.  I was driving,
And let him prattle on.  He grabbed his chance,
Made certain there'd be no one left surviving,

And Santa and the Easter Bunny fell.
("They're just a story certain parents tell.")
It all went by so fast.  When he was done,
There wasn't any doubt for anyone -- 
But Santa'd had a pretty decent run.


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Oh Bard, this was so fun. I loved the way you did this.
And Santa and the Easter Bunny fell.
and topples the mysteries of childhood.
Funny. I wonder if the casual poets around here understand how difficult it is to keep the meter. It's a talent.
Oh the tears that came a callin',
When the mighty myths had fallen!
This was very clever, and a fun read. R-
Sic transit gloria Santa. Nicely done, DB. I like "turn[ing] the fairy into toast" but your cleverest, I think, is "And I hear things I hadn't, hitherto." You do indeed keep your eye out for those iamb words.

@Ken: yes.
Poor Virginia. Poor dad. Did you wince or did you smile? Love that you were hearing things you "hadn't, hitherto." Love the way you share them with us as well.
:) conversations in cars...
Hello all. I missed another night (two?) of commenting, because my eyes were rolling into the back of my head when I finished this last night. Please don't feel slighted -- I really DO read your comments, and they really ARE important to me. Sometimes I just can't sit up in a chair any longer. So tonight...

tril, I'm so glad you enjoyed it. To tell the truth, I enjoyed hearing everything unravel suddenly in the back seat. It was a lucky shot, to be a witness.

Ken, you have hit the nail on the head. I recently ran across this quote by Dr. Seuss: "to be successful it has to sound like you knocked it off on a rainy Friday afternoon. It has to sound easy." Of course, he was an anapestic kind of guy. But there is something very storytelling-friendly about regular meter. It reads easy. And you're right, it can be a bear to keep it going. BTW, I love your stuff.

Linnnn - Wonderful couplet -- but no tears! I think the kids were just cornered into admitting something that they already knew to be true.

Dave, thanks. The inspiration was pretty fun too. I knew it would be the night's poem as soon as the daughter had left her carnage.

Pilgrim: a word that falls into place can be your best friend at 1:00 in the morning. I love them all.

anna1, I smiled. The kids are big enough that it was just a lifting of a veil, not a slap in the face. I do have to caution them not to blab to their friends' tiny siblings, though.

sweetfeet, yes. I learn more listening to the kids in the back seat than anywhere else. (I also learn who can sing, and who can't.)

Thank you all so much for coming by, as always. If I can catch up on my work, I will respond to comments more faithfully in the coming days.

Goodnight, all.