I'm just a bit incredulous I had A cup of coffee with this person I Have only known a while it wasn't bad I kind of asked her out just on the fly And there she was at seven like she said That afternoon today this afternoon And all this stuff is racing through my head Like what is this and maybe it's too soon And on and on and I was like ok With ev'rything you know like pretty cool And oh I also really liked the way She looked the colder weather as a rule Can do that to me man oh man I swear A woman bundled up who likes to wear A couple sweaters something in her hair A scarf hang on I gotta get some air
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Alysa Salzberg
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Comments
I love how you've run this one together ... like your heart and mind are racing and you're absolutely breathless! Absolutely wonderful!
I wonder if she is the woman of your 'Anonymous' series?
Perhaps we're going to be in for a real treat with some more of that beautiful, romantic poetry of yours!
Beware, take care.
Emotions out of notions
Can vanish in thin air.
But timidity as well
Can be an awful kind of hell.
Move slowly. You can never tell
Just how things manage to gel.
For now be easy with a pace
That tests the ground to find it firm.
Love needs trying, not a race
Build with an eye for long term.
Oryoki - had I know about the pirates thing, I'd have (possibly) written a different poem. But thanks for the warning.
iq - how do? Yes, I've actually tried to read the whole thing in one breath and I never quite make it.
Kate - oh boy you've been paying attention! No, this is not Anonymous. But Anonymous will remain Anonymous. So maybe yes, maybe no, I dunno.
Hi tril. Different, but still iambic pentameter, still ABAB. I just yanked out all the carriage returns.
Jan, thank you. I think you're telling me to cool my jets?
Antoinette, thank you for a wonderful compliment. It's always nice to know that I hit pretty close to the mark.
Linnnn, Muse, there's probably more to come.
anna1, thanks, thanks, thanks.
c&v, yes. Breathe. I'm good at that. I can do that.
sophieh, thanks!
rita, thanks to you as well.
catch: caffina? Me has dado una nueva palabra, gracias pero... que se dice?
scupper, thank you. That is beautifully put.
And thanks everyone. Everyone.
Oh man oh man it's late jeezzzzzz......
this brought a smile