That night, I sent a note. It'd been a year
Since last I sent a note. She'd not replied.
I sent it. Six days later, I would hear
That someone else's childhood crush had died.
Not mine, or hers, but someone's. Then came days
Of no reply, again. I couldn't know
The ways my note, the last, had failed. The ways
It didn't touch. Perhaps it didn't show
The what - discretion? urgency? - it needed,
To neutralize the here we go again.
It'd gone for an entire year unheeded;
Could be, ignoring it had been her plan.
And then she sent a note. To me. Today.
She answered me. I'm not sure what to say.
"It'd" has problems, and the scan here is affected by them. I've written a short post on the word in the sandbox.
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Comments
Could have used "Had been," no? (preceded by a dash rather than a period to avoid the fragment).
Maybe? ~ To neutralize the here we go again
After an entire year unheeded
Now... if she takes another year to respond. Well that also says SOMETHING.
Wishing you so very well, DB.
@everyone - Please check last night's post as well, I commented really, really late.
Veronica - you're right. I never, EVER imagined being where I am now.
vanessa - perfect. although I'm still wondering what you say to your characters...
Muse - maybe I've said too much already. But you're right about it being an endless quest.
Pilgrim - hm... "had been" would have added one extra syllable to the line, no?
anna1 - I have no idea. Really, no idea. And honestly, the likelihood is very, very small right now, that we'll ever wind up in the same city again. As you say, "perhaps we simply write."
catch - I admit it: Yes, I usually do not have trouble finding words. And as to your line suggestion, your specific idea would break the scan. But there are others like it, that would have avoided "it'd". Next time I won't wait so late to write. It's amazing what the brain can do when it's rested.
Antoinette - yes, another year would say plenty. It would speak volumes.
hugs - yes, the silence is the worst. But I've had much worse, in other parts of my life. Sometimes silence is just quiet, eh?
pastvoices - oh, I'm not sure about that yelling part either!
Kate - thanks. It's hard to say what's going on. Kind of like raking the leaves off the forest floor, and being surprised by all the seedlings underneath.
tril - you flatter me so much. But I didn't master it, did I? I just wrote a blog post to admit defeat!
Thanks again, everyone. My evenings are very full, with your comments.
DB, what a glorious analogy! Oh, I'd love to see you write a verse encompassing that image. Raking away the old and finding new life ... seedlings of new thoughts ... old thoughts ... memories ... new beginnings.... ???
Beautiful analogy.