"You've Got to Hide Your Breast Away:" The Nursing Debate
CNN's Campbell Brown recently reported on a story about a Cincinatti mother who lost her job at a Totes/Isotoner warehouse after taking unscheduled breaks to pump milk for her infant. Initially, the mom, LaNisa Allen, had been given permission to pump in a warehouse bathroom during a specified 15 minute period. Allen was fired when she began leaving her workstation early, with coverage from a supervisor, to pump earlier in the day to alleviate pain and other issues that arise when breast milk accrues in new mothers' breasts. Though Allen sued and took her case to the Supreme Court, the court ruled in favor of Totes/Isotoner, arguing that it was a matter of unauthorized breaks, not discrimination.
http://campbellbrown.blogs.cnn.com/2009/09/17/mom-breastfeeding-cost-me-my-job/#more-1486
This isn't the first time that the breastfeeding debate has reared its areola. Facebook jumped on the milk wagon when it attempted to ban or obscure posted photos of women breastfeeding. Like the perky twins themselves, this is an issue that just refuses to lie down. Why should it?
In the case of Allen, she noted watching employes leave their workstations to go smoke, presumably, unauthorized, and figured she could do the same. To follow this logic; it's permissible to create designated spaces and sanction time to people interested in taking their lives, but the giving of life should happen, apparently, behind closed doors, prefably in a window-less panic room....at night...in a ghost town...on Mars.
But more importantly, what do people think is really going on in the course of doling out a bit of liquid lunch to the newborn? All of my friends who partake in the "dirty" deed do so, usually, absconced in some Alpaca-like wrap or shawl or Snuggie type slankety thing that is just no arms short of a Birka. If anything is worrisome about this scenario it's that the baby might think she's wound up back in the womb from being so carefully enveloped in natural fibers.
Maybe people think that breastfeeding is some kind of gateway drug of public spectacle: shaving in coin fountains, waxing your legs on the subway, inappropriate shouting in the midst of a Presidential address, or clipping your toenails at the office. ("I wonder what's taking Gene from accounting so long with those reports? Oh, that's right, it's Wednesday: toenail clipping day.")
As a country, we've witnessed so many horrifying spectacles of shame, degredation, loss, and trauma within our own borders. Not the least of which is the human body doing the things the human body was engineered to do, thankfully so or else none of us would be here and health care reform would be the least of our worries. The shameful part of breastfeeding is treating it as a shameful act, something that is perverse instead of natural and necessary. So, go ahead, I dare you, take a peek at one, leetle, eety, bitty life-afirming, life-giving nipple on your bus ride home tonight. What's the worst that could happen? Oh right, you might actually smile.
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And I sure don't mind it either.
To be honest, I have always been fine with seeing a babe breast feeding especially when her breast is exposed, yet it wasn't until the past few years that I came to appreciate being able to see some boobage of a very pregnant babe. After all, they are even bigger than before the pregnancy, and her body may not return to where it was after the baby is born.
I breast fed my 2nd child. Sometimes I was in public; always I was discreet. Sometimes I would get stares but thankfully no one ever made me feel as if I were doing something that should be banned. I guess people are more vocal now than they used to be about not wanting to witness this beautiful act. As I am part she-bear it is probably good that no one ever questioned when and where I should have breast feeding. (Except maybe my husband who quickly learned that mother knows best and Isaac's needs were more important than anyone else's sensibilities.)
Great post!
I was so proud of my baby and proud of myself and the LaLeche League but obviously that made me a very bad person because I couldn't nurse her with the "regular" patients.
Awwwww the reason I'm commenting is the incongruity of my post from yesterday. While I agree totally with your point, sometimes we just have to have a sense of humor. The post is about when I sold newspaper advertising and sold ads to a lactation consultant--business name was Latch-On Services. Here's the link:
http://opensalon.com/blog/just-walt/2009/09/18/latch_on_services--sometimes_what_you_say_really_sucks
However, this is ridiculous. Breastfeeding should not be condemned. I can't believe that at the very LEAST that it wasn't even "tolerated." I can understand that some people feel uncomfortable about it- they just do- but imagine how mothers feel when there boobs ache and their babies are hungry?
I can't think of anything more natural.
And, by the way, we constitute the SAME society that, in some states, designated men who are found to be urinating behind a tree along a roadside as sex offenders!! Excuse me!! And many people think THAT is just OK. There are now literally a number of American men who are required to register as sex offenders--with all that entails in today's pervert-paranoid society--for the rest of their lives because they were discovered peeing by the side of the road. It is appalling & disgusting.
I don't care about these little anecdotes about breastfeeding women in shopping malls and workplace bathrooms. Those are highly localized incidents and the stupid people dealing with them will likely make stupid decisions and we can all read about it in the news & ridicule their stupidity.
At the same time, ladies, it's respectful to be a little discreet...
On the other hand, I think it is ridiculous that a woman should be fired for taking an unscheduled break to address a physical issue - whether it is to pump breast milk to alleviate physical pain or change a tampon because she's leaking through.
'nuff said...
BINGO!
Urination is natural, too. And if you don't do it often enough, it is also painful. However, I'm not going to do it on the bus.
The firing couldn't have been anything but discriminatory since men don't have to use a breast pump to be able to hold down a job. However, if a man did have to take frequent breaks due to a physical condition, such as a broken leg that even required more time for him to take a bathroom break or to take medication, etc., he wouldn't have been fired. That's discrimination.
Women are continually being punished because they are different from the men who rule the world.
Clearly, a higher court should prevail and that is women, who hopefully will boycott the use of Totes/Isotoner products.
This was an outstanding article about an issue that should never have been controversial. Any woman who breast feeds her baby is bestowing on it a precious gift of antibodies and nutrition that bottle babies unfortunately don't receive. I salute them! They should be honored and accommodated, not harassed.
But what really concerned me about the situation was that there was no way I could keep the breaks short. 15 minutes? not if you're pumping both breasts as fully as possible. (and if you don't, you'll just have to take another break soon) Even with the latest super-efficient pumps, I doubt it really takes less than 20 minutes.
Cigarette breaks were only 10 minutes, if that.
It adds up to a lot of time.
As a conscientious employee (and maybe as a long-standing 'victim' of a chauvinistic society, but that might be another column), I always felt guilty for taking so much time away from my desk. Yes, I tried eating while pumping (weird), or catching up on professional reading or phone calls, and so forth. But still. None of that changed the amount of time it takes away from one's desk to effectively, mindfully, care for your children.
It's not just breastfeeding we need to support, but mothering in general.
The woman I speak of yesterday had no blanket or towel or anything with her. She literally hiked up her shirt, exposing the better part of both naked boobs, and suckled her child while people were trying to eat their lunch. I have pretty liberal standards but I was shocked by her apparent willingness to offend. She was practically daring someone to do something so she could go into self-righteous mode and probably launch a lawsuit. Bad manners are bad manners, whether you breastfeed or you don't. Plus, her child looked a little old to be breastfed anyway, and he was as ill-mannered as his mother.
My mother breastfed me and I am reasonably certain that she would never hike up her shirt in public
I have no qualms about mothers feeding their sucklers.
I DO have LEGITIMATE issues with those angry and hateful ones who do it NOT for the suckler butt, as a challenge to others who might rightfully object to the time, place and motivation.
With some persnickety pushy pumpers, there is CLEARLY no interest in the well being of the suckler.
I am a 70 Y/O male, you know, an automatic kneejerk target for younger, hateful females who need NO legitimate reason to hate my kind.
That said, I can only imagine the bitchfest if an article was posted in defense of a MAN who was fired for bathroom breaks resulting in the typical effects from an enlarged prostate.
"Oh, way too bad you old bastard!! Go die!!"
Yeah, I'm a MAN. I am proud of that.
I am also very happily single.
I am even MORE happy about the fact that I have NOT been the cause of any breeding leftovers which are known and would NEVER want to know about any.
So, since as I said, I have no qualms about the breeders having their pumping parties, it is for the liquid to enter the sucklers throat by swallowing and NOT to be shoved down MINE for issues which, in reality, have nothing to do with any benefit of their offspring.
I almost NEVER get any replies to my posts here as, I am not an ass kisser.
Rather I have my own opinions and figured I'd make some comments which will lift a few blouses in anger.
BTW-I often go to the edge of the woods on the golf course to piss.
When I am engaged in this dribbledrabble, the most perverted thoughts I have are hoping the wind doesn't shift so that I piss on myself.
I have no desire to expose myself to others. Nor do I have any desire to have any sort of sexual contact with little monsters or adults of my own gender.
Even so, in the PERVERTED world of "justice", I could be charged as a "sexual pervert' and, this would probably by cheererd by those who would shove THEIR pumping down our collective throats.
GOOSE & GANDER!!
Paying money to eat at a restaurant does not entitle you to pick your fellow diners. Maybe someone is talking too loudly. Maybe someone else has on a garish shirt you can't stand. Maybe the diner at the next table is chewing with his mouth open. Etc etc.
Really, how often has any of us been at a somewhat expensive restaurant expecting a quiet ambiance and had a mother with a nursing infant in any case. I can't think of a case myself. And I'm 66.
So wherever you are don't watch a mother breastfeeding if it makes you uncomfortable, or even outraged. Change your table. Look the other way.
Babies need to eat. Mothers need not to be confined to home for months until their babies are mostly weaned.
Choosing to be childless and not wanting to have to sit through my meal while someone at the next table breastfeeds doesn't not equate to being wrathful. In fact many of us who make the conscious decision to not have children aren't child haters, but rather we've made the educated choice not to selfishly contribute to an over populated world or do emotional damage to another human being because we felt obligated to reproduce when we had not business doing so. Better to not be a parent than to be a piss poor one.
Having children is a CHOICE, not a right or an obligation. Once you've made the CHOICE to have a child, then you've also made the decision to alter your life accordingly. That doesn't give you the right to alter mine. Frequently people who have children make the conscious decision that they aren't going to let the fact that they have a child get in the way of doing the things that they want - which often includes ideas like bringing their infant with them to the movies or a nice restaurant. That is a selfish supposition. That right there says that their needs and desires supersede mine or even those of their own child. If I wanted to go to the movies with other people's kids I'd go see a G-Rated film at 2:00 in the afternoon. If I wanted to eat dinner with someone's kids I'd go to Chuck E. Cheese or my sister's house for dinner.
When you decide to have a child you decide to make the sacrifices that come with it. If you're not willing to make those sacrifices both to be considerate of others or even considerate of the child (really how many infants want to go see a loud film with surround sound and special effects), then your priorities are askew.
People who think that women who breastfeed only do it to offend you... All I can say is, you should get over yourself, because it's not about you.
1) a breast feeding session takes a long time 20-30 minutes. In the early month, the baby needs to feed every 3-4 hours.
2) babies don't always adhere to schedules, so they can be hungry at inopportune moments.
3) The breast makes milk according to the baby's need. You can't pump milk right after the baby's fed and expect to have any milk to pump. If it's time for the baby to eat, the mother's breast will be swollen, uncomfortable, and leak. This means that it is hard to pump milk in advance of a long outing and uncomfortable/awkward to feed the baby with with something other than breast milk when it's feeding time.
When the baby cries with hunger, the mother's breasts will respond with let-down, meaning she starts to produce milk. If she produces too much, it will leak through her shirt (and any nipple pads she might wear to prevent this).
4) The breast makes milk according to the baby's needs and if the milk is unused, the breast will make less. This means if the mother supplements with formula, her milk production will go down, requiring her to use formula to meet the baby's needs.
Different women have different experiences. Some produce much more milk than the baby needs, some just enough (and hence have trouble storing up with pumping)
These physical facts of breast feeding are the reasons mothers breast feed in public. Most try to be discreet. Why blame all breast feeding mothers on the behavior of a few?
I NEED TO PEE.
IF IT BOTHERS YOU, MERELY LOOK AWAY AS, IT IS MY MORAL RIGHT TO RELIEVE MYSELF DUE TO MY MEDICAL CONDITION.
Remember all you other men, just tell them to look away if it upsets them.
I made a choice to have children, and I don't feel that choice gives me the right to impinge on others' freedoms or well-being. When my kids were smaller and acted out in a restaurant, they were removed. If a child comes to play at my house and misbehaves, I admonish them kindly but firmly (which often induces the shock of the unknown), and if that doesn't work, I send them home. It's that simple. Most kids crave limits, and it's the fault of overindulgent contemporary parenting that there are so few of them.
BUT (and as Pee Wee Herman used to say, everybody has a big but) I raised the "you were a child once too" notion to point out that it's neither humane or helpful to treat all kids like rude annoyances just because you opted not to have them. What entitles you to be so broadly dismissive in your little bubble of adult-ness? It's every bit as obnoxiously self-centered as the attitude you proclaim (apparently all) parents to possess.
Basic consideration cuts both ways. Have those in the "I just don't like your 'little miracles'" camp (as an atheist I have never been prone to thinking of my spawn that way anyway) never met a child that interested them even remotely? Sad to live a life that restricts access to an entire sector of society, but that's your limitation, not mine.
EVERYTHING IN HUMAN NATURE THAT GIVES US PLEASURE AND ENJOYMENT...ANYTHING THAT WE ARE DRIVEN BY 'NATURE ' TO DO MUST BE CONTROLLED THROUGH PRAYER
AND SELF-DENIAL. ANYONE (WOMEN) WHO REFUSE TO BEND BEFORE THE 'DEPRIVERS' MUST BE PUNISHED FOR 'INDECENT AND SINFUL' PUBLIC DISPLAY. FUNDAMENTALIST CHRISTIAN PRIGS (COWARDS ALL) IN OUR LOCAL, STATE AND NATIONAL GOVERNMENTS PASS LAWS IN ORDER TO DO THIS.
WE THE PEOPLE MUST BE PROTECTED FROM OUR MOTHERS WHO WOULD DARE TO SUCKLE THEIR YOUNG IN PUBLIC (EVEN IN PRIVATE) JUST BECAUSE THE INFANT IS HUNGRY! THIS IS BRANDED AS A SURE SIGN OF MORAL DECAY AMONG THE WEAK-WILLED (WOMENFOLK) AND MUST BE STRICTLY CONTROLLED (ELIMINATED) BECAUSE IT THREATENS THE VERY FABRIC OF OUR SOCIETY. NO CIVILIZATION CAN LONG HOLD TOGETHER IF IT DOES NOT CONTROL THE FEMALES.
LAM-09
However, in our culture, boobs are covered up and they are used as sex objects in advertising, television shows and porn.
For better or worse, they are viewed as sex objects (you just can't switch off conditioning because of circumstances) ..... blame the culture for that is the source.