In his song, "Levon," Elton John sings: "Levon sells cartoon balloons in town." I don't know what that means exactly, but A. it's a damn fine song and 2. it's a testament to Sir Elton's fine lyrical prescience to capture the vacuous brilliance of America's latest newcomer to the fifteen minutes of fame corner booth: Levi Johnston.  Unlike other celebutards who coke, drink, and shop their way into America's pop culture junkyard, Levi simply let his best swimmers do all the work. Seven months, 3 campaign stops, and one Republican National Convention later, Levi Johnston took his place amongst a group of elite individuals known as those "in the spotlight." 

One year, one lost election, one broken relationship, and one baby later Levi Johnston finds himself still in that spotlight, however, this time, it's a spot he's chosen.  So what if he stands there with his shirt off and his newly sculpted pecs oiled for the salacious gaze of cougars and teens alike? So what if he makes the rounds to tabloid television shows throwing out hints of "explosive" Palin gossip the way fisherman toss out chum to sharks? So what if he sells his side of the story to Vanity Fair or Dan Brown? So what, America, did you expect?

For those, much like Sarah Palin herself, who can barely contain her thinly disguised disgust over Johnston's "pornographic" Hollywood antics, I say look at the source. America rewards a husband and wife struggling through a horrible divorce with book and television deals.  It celebrates the disgraced politician by turning him into a "reality television" star, and it gives a mediocre public servant a national platform along with an elevation to celebrity status to well, annoy, the general public.  Johnston isn't doing anything that he hasn't learned from watching Palin and her cohort at work; he simply remains transparent about it.  He doesn't dress up his Playgirl shoot as anything other than a paycheck and a chance to set the hands back a few minutes on that ticking clock of fame.  He's not pretending to serve a greater good by playing a victim or making himself out to be a wide-eyed babe in the designer suit woods. He, like his nearly -ex-mother-in-law, is simply feeding the public appetite for flash over substance, for skin over modesty, for "cartoon baloons" over integrity, laughing all the way to the bank.