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A dream come true, how often do you say that? How often is it true? How often do you just wish it were true?
I was convinced. But truthfully, I have often been convinced and proven wrong.
I didn’t want to dice this relationship apart. So Mel wasn’t into housework. I could live with that. But we talked and she agreed to pick up after herself, leaving me to take care of everything else. Of course, picking up after myself, but also, the dishes, laundry, wash the floors, dust the furniture, clean the toilets. Her idea of a complete cleaning was to shove everything in the closet, or cupboards in the kitchen. The floors could be filthy, the counters were cleared off, but sticky with whatever she recently ate, and the toilets and sinks? She NEVER got that. She felt that they were the items that got an immediate return of biological waste and were a ridiculous waste of time.
I realized from that confession forward, things were lopsided. But I chose to ignore it.
Sigh. When will it be as I imagined? These were the times I missed Debra the most. In spite of everything that happened, I yearned for her idealization. She never would have said such a thing. It would never have been brought up to begin with, because, it would never have happened. But Debra was gone and Mel was here.
We already had our routines, wonderful routines. On Sundays we would go to our favorite restaurant Baba Yega’s and sit in the alcove adjacent to the entrance. The same table every time. This was our spot. The staff knew and would bring us immediately. We grew very comfortable with each other reading, respecting the other's quiet alone time - together. When we did converse, I never grew tired of hearing about her time in the Coast Guard, her career working side by side with greats such as Dr. DeBakey. I thanked God every day. There was nothing, except for ourselves, that could make our lives miserable. Well, at least not me.
Bootsie was always, cleverly at the bar and would send an Irish coffee to our table. Her signature that she was there. For a while, Mel thought I had ordered it. She would go to the restroom, the coffee would arrive, and then Bootsie would make a quick greeting. She loved to scurry over and slide into Mel’s seat. Ever the covert. She didn’t seem to care about the obvious, because she would take my hand and kiss it.
“Are you ready to come to your senses?” She would whisper, always some heavy-handed temptation, and then she would leave as fast as she came. Mel clueless, never looking at the receipt. There were a couple of instances she did, but just suspected it was either an oversight, or a “comp”.
We lived in the house I had acquired as a rental when I was with Sheryl, shared with Yvonne for the few times we had it to ourselves, had an affair with the army girl, Tracy, cohabitated with Bootsie, my affair with Wendy, and concludes - hopefully - with Mel.
Then Mel and I received notice. The house I had lived in over 10 years had been sold. No one thought to tell me. Mel was happy. We were living in Spring, Texas, 40 miles from both our jobs. Moreover, Mel felt this was a good opportunity to leave the burbs and embrace city life I deflated that balloon fast.
Devo, my daughter, had been in one school district, one set of friends and doing better in school than I could ever ask. No, we aren’t moving to Houston. Nevertheless, we are moving
When Mel and I met, we moved into the serious side of our relationship with reckless abandon. We both had perfectly fine beds at home, yet we spent our lunch hours entertaining every security officer viewing garage space camera’s within 10 miles of and including Greenway. NO, as a matter of fact, we couldn’t wait.
I was most likely dressed in a suit, more often than not, with a skirt. I have always appreciated beautiful lingerie and had scads. I wore stockings instead of pantyhose because of the heat in Houston. Far more comfortable. Mel would hang my expensive underoos from her rear view mirror. She loved her new truck, but did not seem to mind the indentations from my shoes.
I was curious, as most would be as to why Mel and Dana broke-up
“I told her I kissed someone” Mel answered
“Is that all” I asked, “You didn’t do any more than kiss her?”
“No” she answered. “
Now I will admit gay relationships, especially between women, are more spiritual than anything. The philosophy is the partner can have sex, but God forbid, they fall in love. Most gay women prefer you have NO sex with another as well. But a transgression that went no further than the neckline certainly could be overlooked, ONCE, and with the aid of counseling. It certainly did not warrant such an uncompromising end as this.
Dana had given her the boot on Christmas day. Mel was given notice to not return after the first of the year. Approximately a 10 day notice. Her friend Nancy from the Texas Ren Fair offered Mel her home. Mel placed all her things in storage, moved into the spare bedroom at Nan’s mobile home and stayed on high alert for a new domicile.
My friend Sammy Ramirez (who has since died) said that ALL relationships were rebound except for the first one, so just own it and enjoy. Why be miserable when you can be distracted? And so well!
Mel has a tattoo on her arm that is more mystical than representative of anything. It’s very sexy against her milky white skin. She was so white she was clear. She had blond hair in a flat top. An idea of public perception; when leaving one of our garage hotspots, a female clerk who was working in the money booth told Mel she had a “very brave” hairdo. At least that one didn’t call her sir.
She wanted to know more about me, and she was not going to be disappointed. What better way than through media. You can tell a lot about people by the movies they watch, the music they listen to. The first night we actually spent together, I brought movies :
A movie about amputation unwarranted
Mel stared long and hard at me while I slept, after watching this movie, out of concern? or was she sizing me up for the cut? We also watched 9 ½ weeks.
Every thought that was not occupied by work, became inured with fantasies already lived or soon to occur. Thank goodness my job at the time was relatively worry free. Not that it should’ve been.
I had lucked out, coming on board with a Structural Engineering company owned by a woman. This was the company I was employed when I met Mel … and Crawford.
Mel was jealous of my boss, Davis, a black female. I thought it was because of the time Davis and I spent together.
Davis was a fair boss and all who worked for her were treated like family. So I thought nothing when she became ill and needed me to come to her home to review drawings, prepare for meetings or simply watch Oprah. Soon I was working very little and either going with Davis to lunch, shopping, dinner. I worked, but not as much as the other employees. And they resented me for it. That is a difficult relationship to be in. I wanted to please my boss, a given, but I also needed to have a good working relationship with the employees, also a given.
I learned so much from this woman. She had a lot of power in the Consulting Engineering and Architectural Industry. She was an attractive humorous person. Very funny, dry humor. I truly loved her. She was cherished by her friends and family, godmother many times over. I respect someone who is surrounded by admiring fans.
Davis was part of my initial relationship with Crawford. She was not in favor of it. That is until I met Mel. Davis felt that Crawford was the better choice. Initially I thought it was because Mel was more of a threat to my leisure time with Davis.
But, Davis I believe perceived the actual reason I am certain; Mel was a bigot. I would find this out later when Mel would tell me she would leave me if I ever had a relationship with a black person. This included the time before I met Mel. Would I have continued this relationship had I known? I certainly hope so. Racism is more than a sin, it’s a crime. Davis actually paid for me to see a therapist. The second boss who did so?!?
Davis and I had a relationship outside the office, and just like other friends, she would call me in the evenings to chat. Mel was more than annoyed and made immediate demands, that I needed to quit. It was very hard, I loved Davis and planned on staying with her until retirement or when she dissolved the firm. But I had to make a choice. I felt horrible that I would be leaving Davis in a lurch.
My son had just lost his job at Venture after the store closed. He is a clever boy, inherited. I sat him down, taught him AutoCAD in three hours and sent him, resume’ in hand, to Davis’. She LOVED him. He stayed on for several years. She allowed him to pursue his singing career, this included his dyed hair, blue, orange. Once he even had realistic leopard spots. She was good to him. Nevertheless, I fear, I may never see her again. I abandoned her. She was having health problems. And I abandoned her. I don’t deserve to see her again. I am so sorry. Yet, Mel finally had it, and I was shopping for a new job. This would be one of many jobs I would forfeit for her.
Not to worry, I found work immediately, with yet another female boss. Who was, quickly, too familiar with me.
And if you thought Crawford was gone?
Dana's original comment from Open Salon:
By the way IISTG means If It Seems Too Good to be True
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