Notes From Northern California

and random rants

D.M. Schwartz

D.M. Schwartz
Location
Fair Oaks, California, USA
Birthday
September 10
Bio
Architect, engineer, writer, in the foothills of the Sierra Nevada. To find my stories on the Web, search the Kindle Store or Google: "D.M. Schwartz."

MY RECENT POSTS


Friday
 

(C) 2011 YouTube

By now, you’re probably one of the 130 million people who have watched Rebecca Black’s YouTube hit, “Friday.” Wherever you are on the critical spectrum, from “I can’t believe she had the nerve to post this” to “What a w

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MARCH 8, 2011 11:00PM

I’m too sexy for my razor


yasser

Image No-© 2011, D.M. Schwartz

I must have missed the memo; the one that said men only have to shave their faces every three days. But then, had I got the message I wouldn’t have been able to read it.   As far as I can tell, Palestine is where

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JANUARY 10, 2011 1:05PM

My Friends, the Gun Nuts

glock

9mm Glock image © 2010 Slate.com

No matter how hard I tried and after hundreds of shells, I never hit a single skeet. My old high school friend and National Rifle Association instructor, Dave Litman didn’t give up on me. He figured maybe the shotgun recoil was affecting… Read full post »
JANUARY 5, 2011 1:29PM

True Grit Kicks Ass

mattie

Image © 2010 Paramount USA  Hailee Steinfeld as Mattie Ross in True Grit

See this movie. OK, I’ll be specific. True Grit is a really great film, not just a great Western. If you’re expecting a typically quirky, ironic Coen Brothers piece of work, this ain’t it.… Read full post »
DECEMBER 23, 2010 6:15PM

Blue Balls for Christmas

balls

Image copyright-free by D.M. Schwartz

I’ve always loved the bright metallic blue decorative balls on our Christmas tree. Never mind that I’m Jewish and my wife’s an ex-Catholic; our family enjoys celebrating the birthday of the world’s most popular Jew. And blue seemRead full post »
DECEMBER 2, 2010 5:42PM

The Undead and the Unborn

zombie with fetus

 © un-copyright 2010 D.M. Schwartz

I’ve noticed that a lot of people are obsessed with aborted fetuses and walking corpses. It’s difficult to make sense of these phenomena, but I think they’re related. My teenage sons like to shoot zombies with shotguns. The digi

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Editor’s Pick
NOVEMBER 23, 2010 3:40PM

Palin the Unstoppable

palin in alaska

 Photo copyright 2009, Chicago Tribune

You might have noticed a movie currently in theaters about a runaway train that can’t be stopped. Of course, being a Hollywood movie, there’s a happy ending to that story. I wish I could say the same about Sarah Palin’s unstoppab… Read full post »

OCTOBER 19, 2010 12:16PM

Al-Qaeda Deluxe

penthouse 

The Brook Penthouse at The Claridge, London

 "Suzanne!" Trevor the sous chef's yell barely overcame the racket of The Claridge's kitchen. “You bloody cow. Pick up the fucking phone." Suzanne dropped her knife on the wood board crowded with carrots and reached for the phone.Read full post »

negroes

Magical Negro montage © 2010 D.M. Schwartz

We know them well, our African-American movie heroes: Sidney Poitier, Morgan Freeman, Samuel Jackson, Will Smith, and many more. As Spike Lee said, they are our Magical Negroes, always ready to solve the white man’s problem of the day. N

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OCTOBER 8, 2010 12:16PM

Lipstick & Dipstick

Palin & Beck

 (C)2010 The Village Voice

Some of you may know that the popular blog, Lipstick & Dipstick, by Gina Daggett and Kathy Belge is about cultural and personal issues as they pertain to gays and lesbians. I guess that means I owe an apology to those ladies forRead full post »

SEPTEMBER 28, 2010 12:06PM

Iran unveils flying boat piloted targets

 Bavar

Bavar 2 Deployed (C) 2010 CNN 

Iran unveiled three squadrons of new flying boats on Tuesday, Iranian news agencies reported. The craft, dubbed the Bavar 2, is armed with a machine gun and carries surveillance cameras, according to a report from the Iranian Student News Agency.

"I… Read full post »

SEPTEMBER 24, 2010 11:28AM

Execute Murderers?

Bodmin Gallows

 Bodmin Gallows, England, 17th Century 

A particularly awful home invasion and triple murder case is currently being tried in Connecticut. Allegedly, two men broke into the Petit’s home, knocked the husband unconscious with a baseball bat, tied him and his two daughters aged

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SEPTEMBER 20, 2010 2:53PM

Quit Your Damn Moping About Obama

road

Old Route 6 Median © 2010 scvresources

I’ve met a number of Liberals who will vote Democratic in the mid-term elections, but without any enthusiasm. The underlying sentiment seems to be, Obama disappointed us and deserves to be punished. That’s too bad. Republican victoriesRead full post »

AUGUST 21, 2010 8:10PM

Is ‘Muslim’ the new ‘Gay’?

Rainbow-star

(C) 2010 Schwartz 

My wife, Mary and I were discussing the recent Pew poll that revealed how many Americans think President Obama is a Muslim. Many, apparently.  Mary said, “You know, what that poll really says is, people are using the word ‘Muslim’ like kids useRead full post »

AUGUST 17, 2010 1:22PM

Why Iran Will Never Nuke Israel

Iran Pres

Iran President Ahmadinejad (C) copyright 2010 Time

Lately, there’s been another round of blather about how Israel will preemptively attack Iran’s nuclear facilities, as they did Iraq’s and Syria’s. Supposedly, this is because a combination of Iran’s verbal th

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JULY 13, 2010 7:10PM

Burquette Solves the Burka Problem

Burquette

Copyright 2009 by ???

I am so tired of waiting for the French to figure out the Muslim veil thing that I’m offering the solution, free. You’d think a country renowned for fashion would have developed an acceptable frenchified Burka about five years ago. All the yelling

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'Bibi'

Benjamin Netanyahu  (C) 2009 Israeli Knesset

I have to say this every time I write about the Middle East: I'm a Zionist. I believe Israel is the homeland of the Jews. That doesn't mean I'm an apologist for the Israeli government; these days, more like a friendly… Read full post »

BP

Release date: 28 May 2010

BP today provided an update on developments in the response to the MC252 oil well incident in the Gulf of Mexico. 

Subsea efforts continue to focus on progressing options to stop the flow of oil from the well through interventions via the blow

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MAY 20, 2010 12:22PM

Drawing of the Prophet Mohammed

The Prophet

Muhammad ibn Abd Allah

The above is an image of the original purchased in Qum, 1999, by Ingvild Flaskerud.

The text below the image is the shahada or profession of faith: "There is no god but Allah, Muhammad is His messenger."  The medallions in the upper corners contain the

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MAY 20, 2010 12:36AM

West Bank Battle of the Wombs

bellies

I’m a Zionist and a supporter of the two or two-and-a-half state solution for Israel and Palestine (the half state being Gaza if Fatah and Hamas don’t bury the hatchet). Lately, I’ve become increasingly appalled by the actions of the current Israeli government. Every time I

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MAY 16, 2010 11:28PM

Has Kagan Failed Herself?

Kagan

Elena Kagan (C) 2009 Guardian UK

People who say Kagan's sexual orientation is not relevant to the vetting process for SCOTUS justice would be right, if she herself were honest about it. Refusing for decades to say or demonstrate anything on this topic does not indicate honesty. Rather,

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girl

 © 2009 Stieg Larsson

This is a great movie—could be the best foreign film of 2010 and much better than most of what Hollywood cranks out. Interestingly, many Hollywood mainstream elements are present: death, grisly violence, a car chase, crash, plenty of explicit sex, NaziRead full post »

flag

As an American Zionist, I’m used to defending Israel. Lately, that’s been getting more difficult to do because of the Palestinian problem. Instead of seeing the thriving, positive aspects of Israel, for too many people around the world the images of Israel are checkpoints, walls,

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iPad 

(C)2010 Apple 

I’ve been reading the reviews and user comments about Apple’s iPad and I’m almost intrigued enough to buy one just so I can sort the gear out for myself. I said, almost. Five hundred bucks to satisfy my curiosity is a bit too steep, especially withRead full post »

Rielle

Sometimes I get bit by the conspiracy bug and my mind wanders into strange territory. Today, it occurred to me that Rielle Hunter’s meet-up with John Edwards was not entirely coincidence or an accident. Consider two names in their sordid (or romantic, if you prefer) history: Richard &l… Read full post »