I spend much of my time with my children wishing they would grow up faster, meaning be less clingy. (Not climbing into my bed every night to co-sleep, so that my sleep is disturbed and I wake up with a foot in my face.) But then when they show me that they are maturing, it makes me wistful.
This morning, in the car on the way to school, we had this conversation, variations upon which are repeated often:
5 year old daughter: "When can I start to wear nail polish?"
Me: "When you're 18."
5 year old daughter: "How about 17?"
Me: "No, 18."
7 year old daughter: "I thought I could wear it when I'm 10."
Me: "No, 18."
7 year old daughter: "Not even when I'm in high school?"
5 year old daughter: "Not even when I'm in college?
Me: "Yes, when you are in college."
Less than five minutes later, we are at school, and I am preparing to walk them in. I expect to go hand in hand and to see some tears and resistance when I leave. That is how it has been for the last 6 weeks since they started Kindergarten and second grade. I feel almost annoyed at the dramatics, especially the free flowing tears when I am leaving the Kindergarten classroom.
So I reach out to both of them. They both resist my holding their hand.
Then the older one says, "You can walk me to the front hallway and kiss me goodbye there, but I want to go line up by myself."
That is reasonable, and we part after a brief kiss.
I walk down the stairs with the Kindergartener, who still resists any efforts to hold her hand, and we reach the yard. For a brief few minutes until she sees some of her friends, she starts to cling and whine. I expect the usual dramatics. But then after a quorum of two adoring classmates runs up to embrace her, I can't believe it: she dismisses me.
"You can go now, Mama."
Me: "That's OK, I can stay a few minutes today."
5 year old daughter: "No, go."
So I left, not even sure if I was able to give a kiss, and I felt uncertain and disoriented as I walked back to the car.
Does it really go by so fast?
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Kim Gamble
kmbearden
Spectrum Voice
Susie Lindau
Lauren B. Davis
racheld
Salon.com
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