I've been thinking lately about being at home, and what that means. I am a nester - I like to have all my stuff around me in case I might need it. I am comforted by my books, art and junk, and without all the stuff I feel disconnected.

The first home I feel connected to was in NY. I don't have a photo - but pulled this satellite image off of Google Maps. (In fact all the the images are courtesy of Google.)

Very suburban - a split level. I remember when we moved in my brothers and I played for hours sliding on the hardwood floors. My room was in front, not all that much of a climb. Lets just say that a hunky high-school boy could get in and out with little trouble.

My parents divorced while I was in college, and I moved most of my gunk up to Providence. My first apt was in the greatest location on Benefit Street.

We were on the second floor - side and back. The apt had two entrances, making it real easy for my roommate's boyfriend to come inside without disurbing me. As if sex in the next room every night isn't disturbing anyway.

After a year of that I moved up the hill to 40 Angel St.

The building burnt down a few years after I graduated. The apt was notable for the hole in the bathroom ceiling. It was never repaired, because I was always behind on my rent.

After college I moved to NY, and moved into a teeny one bedroom apt with my former freshman roommate.

Rent stabilized. Elevator operators. Much gossip from them about the two new girls. Hot neighbor Thor. Absolutely nothing around the area except a sex club. I moved after a bit - I wanted to live in an actual neighborhood, with stuff like a grocery and delivery.

So I moved to the upper west, and finally lived alone. Doorman building, close to two trains, shopping and restaurants everywhere. Safe. Heaven, for a good long time.

When I first moved west, I moved into a place that reminded me of this apt.

Except in palo alto, which meant that everyone told me their business. It was downtown, I was on a high floor. Pretty sweet. Except that I couldn't afford to buy in that neighborhood. So I moved South, to where I live now. To where I miss.

Its totally different from anyplace I've lived before, and totally like every other place. Its still an apt building - I am on the top floor (4.) But I have more than one room! My view is of trees and the pool. At night, I can see stars. My neighbors are forwarding my mail. There are flowers everwhere and when I go downstairs to get in my car (I have a car!) the landscaping smells fresh and lovely. I actually bought grownup furniture and have all the stuff I like in all the places I like. I will be there soon.