As an undergraduate many years ago I worked at Dillard’s Department Store in store 100 at Park Plaza in Little Rock. That was long enough ago that Mr. Dillard himself used to drop by late in the evening after dinner to check out the store and chat with long time employees.

The store had not always been called Dillard’s and had been owned by another family before who were quite wealthy.  One of the daughters of that family (Pfeiffer I believe) was the second wife of Ernest Hemingway which is how Hemingway found himself spending some holidays in Piggot, Arkansas. I could not make that name up if I tried. He worked hard for that heiress money. I believe his third wife was from England which was far, far away from Arkansas and they spent most of their time in Cuba ;0)  Now you know why he might have made those decisions.

See http://hemingway.astate.edu/pauline.html for more information.

I was paid more per hour than other employees because I was willing to work in the linens department with an elderly employee named Mrs. K who had been at Dillard’s since before it was Dillard’s.  She might have run into Hemingway buying underwear sometime in her past. She had to have been in her late seventies and was quite cranky to many customers and all co-workers.  She was a permanent fixture in the linens department because let’s face it. Once one has two or three sets of sheets there is little need to buy more.  Linens was the department in which Mrs. K would encounter the fewest customers.

One odd habit I picked up from working in the linens department is that for several years I could identify the manufacturer and name of sheets on the bed during sex scenes in movies and soap operas if the sheets were anything other than white.  Soap opera set designers were particularly cheap when buying sheets and frequently featured low thread count sheets with a high polyester content.

I have two vivid memories of working there not related to Mrs. K. 

Dillard’s was the only store that sold a particular brand of perfume to which I seemed deathly allergic.  The perfume company sometimes employed pretty girls to spray that perfume on shoppers.  After an hour or two I would have to go home so I could breathe.  I could not work when sneezing on customers.

Susan McDougal of Whitewater infamy also once came into the linens department to buy sheets carrying a very large bag of several dozen Barbie dolls. A friend of hers was on a mission trip in Africa and she was sending all those Barbie dolls to young African women.  I wondered what they thought when they opened those Christmas presents.

Anyway Mrs. K much disliked me and would interrupt fascinating discussions I was having with customers about say the depth of fitted sheets to announce something like “only white trash uses fitted sheets.  I know how to make hospital corners.”  Mr. Dillard was well aware of my name because every time he would drop by to say hello to Mrs. K she would tell him of my latest transgression.  He would wink at me while telling her, “Now we all know that girl can do better.” 

I dealt with Mrs. K by ignoring her as in never talking to her for any reason. She was furniture to me.  Inanimate.  Someone with absolutely nothing relevant to say. My indifference drove her insane.

Why am I thinking about Mrs.K today?  I have been at OS for more than a year and I guess have a healthy readership.  Consequently I have attracted some trolls led by a misogynistic pedant who reminds me of Mrs. K.  He rarely has anything relevant or positive to say.  If you encounter him while buying sheets in this department please ignore him when he spouts off about hospital corners.  If I was not blogging for free I would be asking Mr. Dillard for a raise now ;0)  Usually I can avoid such people by limiting the number of faculty meetings or teacher conferences I attend.

Mrs. K. never ran me off.  In fact most nights I was a top salesperson.  People don’t buy sheets often but when they buy good ones they are expensive.  No one wanted to buy sheets from Mrs. K. If she was a blogger it would not be likely that anyone would visit her blog.

I used to try to feel sorry for Mrs. K. since she was obviously so mean due to loneliness. I am an insufficient Christian because I never could do that.  I just raked in the extra dollar an hour paid so that I would ignore her.

It was a good life lesson.

Here is another one.

ped⋅ant

.

–noun

1.

a person who makes an excessive or inappropriate display of learning.

2.

a person who overemphasizes rules or minor details.

3.

a person who adheres rigidly to book knowledge without regard to common sense.

4.

Obsolete. a schoolmaster.