How often do I find myself impatient?  Let me count the ways: Move over; Hurry up; Stop repeating yourself and get to the point. Must you reorganize the contents of your handbag, re-tie your neck scarf, text someone, apply new lipstick and put on your gloves before you are willing to give up your parking space?

Impatience begins with annoyance and agitation. It walks hand in hand with self-centeredness: I want something changed. I want it changed now. And, I want it my way.

Impatience is the rise of an internal fire that can erupt like a volcano.

An example of impatience turned tragic was a Bay Area incident involving two freeway commuters. A CEO was tailgating a young SUV driver who was going the speed limit. Both were in the fast lane, and the CEO wanted the SUV driver to move over.

The CEO’s impatience grew dangerously hostile. He decided to pass the SUV by moving into the right lane. Pulling up along side, he rolled down his window and the drivers began fist shaking and shouting profanities.

The CEO recklessly veered in front of the SUV, causing that driver to lose control, jump a median and crash head-on into an oncoming semi-truck. The SUV driver and his wife were killed instantly. Their five-month-old baby survived.

This situation escalated from impatience to death within minutes. I was on the jury that convicted the CEO of vehicular manslaughter.

Two minutes of impatience and the lives of the victims, the CEO, and all of their families and loved ones were changed forever. As we all know, this is hardly an isolated incident. Unmanaged impatience causes pain, damage, death and suffering everyday.

And, there’s no way around it – we’re in charge of managing our own impatience.

Consider a scene at home. You want your children to hurry up – it’s time to head out for school and work. “Come on, get going,” you shout, impatience escalating into anger.

One child is gathering her stuff – not fast enough for you – and your impatience provokes a yelling match. Unkind words are exchanged. Your daughter breaks down in tears and the day has turned sour for everyone.

We may become impatient with the elderly. You snap at your mother because she can’t remember the details that you think are important. Or, in caretaking your grandfather, you become impatient when he wets his pants for the second time that day. Impatience rears up in countless life settings.

Recently, I found myself impatient with a tech support person who didn’t speak English clearly. I wanted my problem solved fast and couldn’t understand what he was saying. I took a deep breath and asked myself, what’s more important – haste or human relations? I decided to refocus my frustration.

One thing I’ve learned about impatience is that it’s an opportunity to become aware of how it begins with each of us.

Often we’re the focus of our own impatience – fed up with our own imperfections. Why can’t I figure this out? What’s taking me so long? How many times do I have to do this before I learn my lessons?

Impatience is a wake-up call. It reminds me to slow down, take a deep breath and get a broader perspective on the situation. Will this matter a week from now? Ten years from now? I try to remember that the world needs more gentleness, not more anger. I need to be gentle with others -- and myself.

Instead of thumping my fingers on the steering wheel, glaring impatiently as a shopper loads groceries into her car -- occupying the parking space I want – I practice deep breathing. Relax. Change my attitude. Smile and forgive myself for putting pressure on anyone. No one needs extra pressure in their lives.

Maybe if we each carried a vase of roses in the car, we would take a few seconds to smell them instead of laying on the horn. Or maybe we need to install a video camera at home so we can play back the many ways our impatience interferes with showing each other that we care.

I’m adopting a new mantra. Or maybe it’s a prayer: When impatience points out imperfection, may a guardian angel named Patience appear and remind me to see everything through the eyes of love.