- December 31
- Thinking about shit and making up shit.
MY RECENT POSTS
- My Million Dollar Idea
March 25, 2014 01:21PM
- House Arrest Is Best
February 09, 2014 04:35PM
- My Panda, My Self
January 18, 2014 04:09PM
- I'm Dreaming Of A Whole Grain
January 06, 2014 03:57PM
- My Mom and the Pope's Penis
November 07, 2013 07:04PM
MY RECENT COMMENTS
- “I wish I could rate all
your comments. You'd all get
shitload of points.”
January 20, 2014 01:24AM
- “Hah, did I? I have no
idea what I am saying. German,
January 18, 2014 04:47PM
- “What I would give to
have heard the gardeners
September 12, 2013 11:55PM
- “Remains to be seen,
femme. Remains to be
June 14, 2013 12:15AM
- “Diane S-L,
a boy. His parents named him
after Robin Hood.
April 21, 2013 07:53PM
Dr. Strangemom's Links
I miss the old days when I could lie to my kids and they'd believe me. Actually, I miss the days when I could lie to anyone and they'd believe me. The world is on to me. Maybe because I announce that I lie all the time.
OR… Read full post »
The first time she saw me, my sister told Mom, "take it back". When I was seven months old, she tried to frame me for drawing the letters "m" and "n" all over the den walls in black crayon.
Our partnership is going on 58 years next spring.
There… Read full post »
THIS MORNING, 6AM
Me (waking up and talking to Robin, still asleep next to me… Read full post »
Robin's birthday happy ending: check.
I know he'd want you to know.
He'd also want you to know that he was a champ stud. We started the day before his birthday and ended on his birthday. Yeah, well, it was 11:58 last night to 12:13 this morning, but still.… Read full post »
Robin's been out of town, won't be home until late tomorrow night, and for reasons too complicated to explain, I needed to get some money. Fast.
I checked all my usual hiding places but - no shock - there were empty. There was a note in my best… Read full post »
I've been worrying about death again.
Months (well, weeks. Well, days) have gone by without my usual daily keening and moaning and hand-wringing that Death is just around the corner. I really don't know why my brain finally took a respite from it, although now that I think… Read full post »
We decided to spend an afternoon in Napa on our way up from LA.
Robin's vision: lazily wending our way in and out of wineries, tasting delicious wine and food, sitting under the shade of an oak tree and having sex under a picnic blanket. Preferably with me, but… Read full post »
We were discussing profanity in literature. Lunaea was careful to be discreet but I got the message.
"It can show a certain...paucity of wit" was her exact turn of phrase. Followed, of course, by "oh, but I don't mean your writing, Ann. When you use that language, it's..." I don't… Read full post »
I went to Ojai last weekend for the wedding of the daughter of dear friends. You may have recognized me there. I was the one with the Transitions lenses that refused to turn light at night and I walked around in pitch black sunglasses, looking like the third… Read full post »
I'm having such a hard time writing the blog. I've been so tired. Just writing that now, I am spent. I must take to the couch with a cranberry and tonic, twist of lime, please. See how tired I am? I cannot even twist my own lime. Which… Read full post »
I've recently connected - via Facebook - with a friend I haven't seen in a million years. Such is beauty of Facebook. And now she wants to catch up and know what's new with me and get together for lunch or something. I might have to unfriend her.… Read full post »
Well, it's over. Oprah's gone. Just an empty studio, a million tear-soaked tissues and the last audience ever to see her show walking together, slowly, arm in arm to the bus stop, crying to each other, "now what the hell good was that? Where's my new car? Where's… Read full post »
Well, here's something you can't say every day: I'm going out to the driveway to take a dump.
The reason I can say that is that there is a port-a-potty in my driveway. The reason there is a port-a-potty there is that we are remodeling the bathroom. My first… Read full post »
Are we all still here?
I don't know what I expected to happen on Saturday - I mean, for fuck's sake, I knew there was not going to be a seat for me on that bus, I once (twice) hid behind my couch and pretended I wasn't home when… Read full post »
Well, no one emailed me about it so I will have to report on the opening session of Freak Lawn 2 without the benefit of observation, hearsay or fact. I do have at my fingertips, however, the result of my having sat here at my computer for the… Read full post »
Grease up the pole and let your freak flag fly high this weekend. In fact, fly a little high yourself. This is going to be a momentous three days and attention must be paid.
The Grant High School 1970-71 Freak Lawn Reunion is commencing as we speak. Do… Read full post »
Yesterday I turned fifty-seven. No big whoop.
I mean, I'm happy to have made it through another year, especially after the clusterfuck year our family has had. But a birthday is just another day, you know? I mean, in a world where you can get a slice of… Read full post »
You may recall a post of mine from a few months ago in which I told you about my African American friend, Wade. My point back then was that having an African American friend makes me, well, better than other white people who don't have an African American friend.… Read full post »
Okay, so dig this:
There you are, just about to take a bite of your 420 calorie - only 420!- teriyaki turkey burger from Carl's Jr and you hear a voice (perhaps it's your own) saying, "Carl Karcher is a right wing reactionary who gives zillions of dollars… Read full post »
Kim Kardashian, please report to my office. You are in big trouble, Missy.
Oh, this not about your stupid life or your stupid show or your stupid family or even about that stupid, desperate "come hither" face you make for the cameras when you pretend to eat a turkey… Read full post »
So it's ten minutes to four on a Wednesday afternoon and I just got into my pajamas.
If someone comes to the door I will tell them I am sick, but I'm not really sick. I'm just at that in-between time of the day, you know? I have been… Read full post »
Philo of Alexandria said it best back in 20 BCE: Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a great battle.
It's like the man read my diary. I mean, you wouldn't know it just to look at me, but I have a shitload of great battles raging within me.… Read full post »
I hate your kids. Well, only if they are doing great. I'm not unreasonable.
In this economy, nobody's college graduate kid better have found meaningful and lucrative work or I am going to be very aggravated and finish the entire box of prune hamenstashn. And then Robin will suffer because… Read full post »
I need a stimulus package. I am so fucking tired.
A Morning In The Life of Mom's Visit This Weekend:
8:30AM - she feels like tuna.
8:30 and a half - she opens and shuts ALL the squeaky cupboards looking for tuna, waking up everyone else in the house… Read full post »
Lunaea is seeking housing. She said to me, "I need to find a place that fits my lifestyle."
And then she said, "and then I need to find a lifestyle."
I said, "What sort of lifestyle appeals to you?"
She said, "I don't know. Maybe I should just find a house… Read full post »