Everyone has their own cure and fixes for the common cold but very few know about the wonderous medical cure known as the Dr. C.R. Corn Cold Reliefer.

Before I get into the cure, I must first go into my vast expanse of medical experience as what the FDA has called me, "The most Quackery of Doctors since Dr. Frankenstein tried to bring back the dead!"  I was giving that title in 1908 by then Dr. Ruffen Slawster of Harvard who said, "Dr. Rotchze has no business being anywhere near a patient!"

Showed that old fart! Where's old Dr. Slawster now?

He's dead. Nanner nanner butts on fire in Hell!!!

And what did he die from?

A kick in the head from an old mule. 

Corn has always been known for its toiletry practice, a back scratcher, and sometimes, if you were hungry enough, a good something to eat.  It has also been deemed a great sex toy by the American Association of Sex Workers and Corn Farmers of the World.

Two very fine organization and whose journals I read every day for their in depth articles about different types of issues including but not limited to how to get a corn cob out of your vaginal regions without rushing to the doctor all in a fright.

You'd be surprise how many people do not know how to do that.

Anyways, corn is also good for the cure of the common cold.  How you say?

I'll tell you.

Step 1 --- Find yourself a good piece of corn, free of the husk, and preferable still hot and slathered with lots of butter and salt. Don't forget the salt.

This is example of some good corn for you to compare to. If your corn doesn't look like this, give it to the neighbors, the poor ones, that live next door. Who cares about them? Sure not me, they too poor to be able to afford me!

Step 2 --- Take said slathered corn and ram it hard and with no love up your rectum.  You may want to have your spouse or 'good long time friend we all know you're sleeping with!' do this to relieve some of their vented up transgressions up you.

Jam it really hard and far up there.

Now walk around for a few days and for that time, you might not be cured of your cold but you won't be thinking about it.

Trust me, I'm a doctor, I know these things.

Now, so this is an official article of great importance, I have discovered some great facts about corn that should help you in your day to day life as stolen  acquired from Google.com

Corn fact #1 Did you know corn is America's number one field crop? Corn leads all other crops in value and volume of production.

Corn fact #2 An ear of corn averages 800 kernels in 16 rows.

Corn fact #3 Each year, a single U.S. farmer provides food and fiber for 129 people - 97 in the U.S. and 32 overseas.  That's a lot of people going to the bathroom regularly!

Corn fact #3 Corn has never gone on a 14 state murdering spree using a gun they stole from their stepdad's gun safe. No sir. No how.

Please watch this informative video on corn I discovered on Youtube for your learning pleasure ---->