MARCH 23, 2009 12:01PM

Jane Smithie - Shill For The John Birch Society?

Rate: 34 Flag

 janesmithie

 

 at the risk of appearing paranoid (which doesn't phase me.  by all means, go ahead, i've got balls the size of Neptune), i posit that Jane Smithie is not just some blogger who blogs for the fun of it.  i posit that she is paid to write the blogs she writes.

it is well known that corporations and political parties and long since discredited extreme Right organizations pay bloggers and "reviewers" to "sway public opinion through internet forums."

here are some links regarding this topic, for anyone who doesn't already know about it:

  http://www.accessmylibrary.com/coms2/summary_0286-33001911_ITM

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Conspiracy_theory

http://www.alaska.net/~clund/e_djublonskopf/Flatearthsociety.htm

http://stuffucanuse.com/fake_moon_landings/moon_landings.htm

http://www.abovetopsecret.com/

http://www.rosicrucian.org/

http://www.jbs.org/

 http://www.aspca.org/

"When I do a search on Google for company XYZ, and suddenly in the top ten results are opinions from user-generated content sites that can sway my opinion of the company."

...change "company" to laughably out of touch Right Wing lunatic fringe organization, and remember John Birch capitalized on xenophobia and fear-mongering to  revolutionize Right Wing lunatic fringe politics in several counties in the Midwest several decades ago. then ask yourself - why would they give up that power once they'd gained it?

“Blogs started as simple online diaries and have come round to being mainstream ways to promote ideas and products.... " 

i suggest that jane's play on this site - a rather important site, i think we can agree.  were we not just nominated?  that gets how many hits a day from intelligent Neo-Cons? - is bought and paid for.  not by salon or open salon, but by people who - for instance - have a stake in convincing us that John Birch HAS NOT PROVEN INCOMPETENCE OR DISHONESTY YET.  i find that position so impossibly, outrageously ludicrous that i am, literally, UNABLE to believe a bright person feels that way.  and Jane is certainly bright.

going back to this John Birch, of course we have the fact that he was a certifiable xenophobic maniac.  making him either WAY WAY too incompetent to be IN CHARGE OF THE lunatic fringe (even just technically, as some will argue), OR, a liar.

now the basic dementia of the JBS.  again - either totally full of shit, OR a passle of  liars.

then there is the fact she completely takes positions with which i vehemently disagree. this if nothing else clinches it for me; jane smithie is obviously working for the John Birch Society

  so, if she is a paid shill - she clearly deserves a decent paycheck.

i am embarrassed at this point.  i am embarrassed that in my personal life and all over this country - Right Wing lunatics care more about the title "Right Wing lunatic" than they do the actions of those who brand themselves "Right Wing lunatic"  just as, if you weren't for the anti-Communist witch-hunt, you were against Joe McCarthy (so the arguments went), then if you are against the JBS  - you are against John Birch.

it is not John Birch right or wrong, nor the JBS right or wrong.  we have WIDESPREAD homelessness coming up soon.  people are spawning their jewelry.  people are losing their jobs in droves, and that doesnt include all those who lost their jobs in the past couple years, as this was building to the implosion it has become.

it is the defense of John Birch even now that made me say, "hmm, something is off here."  it is not sensible, yet hers is a very sensible persona.

of course, she cant admit it if she is.  so i guess we will never know.

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its not even close to inconceivable. in fact, if John Birch does NOT have someone blogging on here, then that is pretty remiss....
I wish there were a better word than clever. That was friggin hilarious!
Drew-Silla,
Well! A nice dose of probably-true paranoia goes down well with lunch! I guess you will be one of those bloggers who disturbs my apoliticial apocalyptic apathy, and gets me interested in what the hell They're doing now to my world...ach...

Christ, I didn't even know those bozos were still around. But your point is well-taken, and fascinating: the use of our blogosphere to perpetuate the post-capitalist nightmare long after alot of us have woken up from it.

Wondering: ever heard Dylan's "Talkin' John Birch Paranoid Blues"?...I predict you'll enjoy it...

Rated, Jim
Drew-Silla, I can see how you might get the impression that she's a shill for John Birch, but Jane's a friend of mine and I resent this accustation. She's no more a shill for the JBS than I'm an aromatherapist, and I demand you retract this accusation imMEDiately
guilty as charged!

beautiful, drew.

you forgot to add that he is the father of my baby.

if in fact i have a baby.

i am offended by that picture, though.
hey, let's start a whole group of "jane smithie shill" posts!

it can be a contest to come up with the best idea in several categories, and then the named goldens can pick the winners!

i think that is a brilliant idea, if i do say so myself. what say you?

hey the jehovah's just came to the door. can someone write a "jane smithie, shill for the jehovahs?"
This is good. It could only be better if the comments were also identical to the original (with modifications, of course) and in precisely the same order as they rolled in the first time.

Best line? Right Wing lunatics care more about the title "Right Wing lunatic" than they do the actions of those who brand themselves "Right Wing lunatic"
This is outrageous! Jane Smithie is one of the most-loved people in Open Salon, and for you to sully her good name by associating it with that mob of Militia rejects cheapens us all!!!!
I think Jane would be very hurt and offended by the picture. :)
Please don't tell me this is going to be another
Thrilla from Manilla,
Jane Smithie vs. Drew-Silla.
If it is, I need a pilla,
I'll take a nap, I'm feelin' illa.
randy, you are right - now that you said it again, it made me laugh out loud.

and deborah - you are right, too. that picture is insulting. is she saying i am a dog?
Who in the hell is
Jane Smithie,
by the way????

jim
Jane's one of my best friends in OS and that's the worst job of Photoshopping I've seen in my life. I'm flagging this post immediately Drew; this shall not stand.
this aggression will not stand!

fuck it, nana.

lets go bowling.
I think you're right Jane. This post is the last straw, I'm quitting OS to pursue my life-long dream of professional bowling. Can I borrow your shoes?
only if i can be the ball polisher.

hahaha!

i was gonna make it bawdier, but went a little tame instead.

because, for one thing, there are strict codes of the JBS to uphold.
If she's paid, she's way overpaid. Very, Very funny. Trust me when I say I don't like this woman. Real or imagined...But hey, that's just me.
Rate
assuming when you said that woman you meant me, then trust me when i say i trust you on that.
oh, and its not just you, blue. you are part of a very good crowd in that feeling.
I know the feeling Jane. People who don't like me just need to take a number and stand at the back of a very long line. I take it as a compliment these days.
You know, weve had "interview a blogger." This beg's the question--i.e.g. - "please! Please!"--could we nex't do "parroty a bloger"!?

After that we then, could do "insult-a-bloger who realy need's it!"

Then we could have a "top five way's our favorite bolgger coud improve!"

The possablities are truely limited!!
Ms. Ross, is you're spell-cheker mafunkshun-ning?
O.S. is getting busted wide open. We're all shills. Some of us have been outed - Saturn for the admin, Jane for the Birchers, me for the Kool-aid Kompany...but everyone else is secretly pushing something. The trick is to figure out what it is for each person...hey, OPEN CALL.
i LOVE it myriad! i say cindy is a shill for the grammar society of america - hers is a cautionary tale, and highlights the need for grammarians everywhere!
nana, what are you shilling for?
i've been shilling this whole time for the Armenian Anti-Defamation League and nobody's exposed me. why even bother shilling if there's going to be no scandalous expo-zay about it?
Ive ben shilling "allmonds" and have a hole jarr-full for my lazy kid's! who wont eat them if they have to shill them theirself's.
well, nana. i guess new shit has come to light, man. i am callin you out on these armenian ties.
Jaysus, I'm confused. Who's on whose side anymore? And why the hell is Cindy spelling like someone from the Special Olympics all of a sudden? ;)
everybody need to go for a walk in the fresh air.
Hey and stay away from my lady friend man...
You human paraquat.
I love your name and your avatar.
coogan, maybe us achievers should have a peace circle. maybe in the living room, on the rug that ties the whole room together?
Saturn Smith and have already reconciled their differences so this post is neither necessary nor clever. The argument was settled. Why stir it up again?
hi closure. i am not sure why this post was written, but i figure it was to make me look bad. so instead i decided to own it.
Closureisamyth, I'm not stirring up anything, I'm simply having a laugh. If you're not seeing the humor here I recommend you go back and read your comments on The Sage Journal's post from a couple days ago; they're the funniest thing I've read since I joined OS. You're either a comedic genius or a complete moron, but either way the remarks were priceless.
It REALLY DID tie the room together! Am I right?
DS. If you want to call me a "moron" for pointing out the obvious, that's your problem. If you want to read some "comedic genius" then check out my blog.
It DID coogan, it did!!!!

;D
I can't give much credibility to, let alone rate any post that uses wikipedia as a source. In fact none of the sources listed above are government sponsored!

Furthermore, the misuse of the "gay/lesbian" tag should be a reportable blog offense.
Resistanceisfruitful, how clever of you to have seen through my cunningly crafted charade. I was hoping everyone would view this post as a serious piece of legitimate journalism and that I'd win a Pulitzer, but alas, the laser-like intensity of your obviously superlative intelligence has stripped away my veils of duplicity, exposing my expo-zay for the lie it is.

My disappointment knows no bounds.
OK, am I confusing Jane Smithie with OESheepdog? Clever post but over my big fat liberal head.
Anyone who recognizes her name and her avatar would know she was going to be extremely funny.
You're right Redstocking. When Dru wasn't feasting on human blood she was quite hilarious, and playful too.
Oh come on, I get nuthin' for my Special Olympics reference? So Cindy--what gives?
lainey that is a gross oversight. this will not stand! now, maybe you should call that shriver boy and apologize, before this even gets out.
Ms. Smithie, for a small consideration I'll delete this post and do a scandalous expo-zay about Lainey. I've no idea who she is and have nothing against her but it seems like the right thing to do.
Everytime I read a jane post, I pretend it's the saint bernard(who I have named Gladys) telling the story.

I use this on a lot of posts by anyone, especially the sad ones, Gladys tells them with her sad eyes and somber speech pattern(if a doggy could speak without using a lot of rrrrrrrs and grrrrrrs).

:)
Tinkertink! Where have you been, it's been ages since we last PMed! And don't tell me you've been with that wife of yours again, you know where I stand on that:(
YOU KIDS GET OUT OF THAT JELLO TREE!!!
Astute use of satire.
OES, there's no call for that sort of language.
Drew, my melon dew of lustful love, I've been hanging out with Nana and Trig as they show me the way to Kokomo or something, it involves something called love beads and turpentine to reach this place. ~smooch~

JK, but we love the jello tree!! WHEEEEEEEEE!!!!!! :)
Nanatehay, you moroon, Mr. Sheepdog was saying he liked the post.
Thank you Mr. Sheepdog! PM me later, we'll discuss just how astute my satire can be.
And Ms. Brady, thanks for reading, but...have you taken leave of your senses:-P
Tinkertink, virile bearer of the twin kiwis of ardor, why haven't you PMed me then?

And stay away from Brady:(
This post makes me feel sad that nobody hates me yet. How long does it take? I've been on OS, like, a month now and I haven't even been spanked, much less flamed. What do I have to do to get you people to notice me?
drew, how about i owe you five dollars? :-)


and sirenita - the wise old owl says it takes about uh-one, uh-two, uh-thdee umm six months....
omg i just actually looked at the titles of the links. very very funny, i must say. the aspca and fake moon landing sites.
the links were pretty funny weren't they jane? i especially enjoyed the Flat Earth Society; I didn't even know those guys were around anymore. drew knows how to pick 'em i guess.

@ sirenita: it doesn't need to take six months, or even three really, to get attacked. i've initiated a policy of baseless and unwarranted attack posts on more or less anybody in exchange for an equally vicious attack on me by the same person, and i'm not picky about how long they've been in OS or anything else really.
nana i love how you keep saying baseless and unwarranted.
Hilarious... and I guess I deserve the satirical comments about the picture being offensive. [sigh....] After all, Saturn didn't seem to mind hers one bit.
I know John Birch. John Birch is a friend of mine,
Jane Smithie ain't no John Birch.
Drew, I try to stay away from General Brady but her neighbor, oh my, he's so hard to stay away from.

And, ~sob~ I tried to PM you, but this Kerry fellow, he said, NO TINK, SHE'S NO GOOD FOR YOU, SHE ONLY WANTS YOU FOR YOUR PENIS!!

I told him, I KNOW...:( So I just sent you one, very hot, very erotic, Whooo!! Peanut butter and everything!!!
Jane, thank you for the encouragement. I will try to stick it out. You're a very funny woman.

Nanatehay, I will gladly attack you, but I don't do baseless and unwarranted. You gotta PM me and tell me something really, really bad that you actually did, alone or with your conspiracy, dressed or naked. Deal?
it's a deal Sirenita, and if you'd rather we can change "baseless and unwarranted" to "bitter and acrimonious" or any other two adjectives that seem appropriate.
Hey, that's cool! Dakini Dancer's paraphrasing Lloyd Bentsen during his debate with Dan Quayle back in the late 20th century! I thought I was the only one who remembered stuff like that.
Jane smithie huh....who woulda thought?
mjay, you sir, would be wrong.

remember? he said, you sir, are no jfk.
trig if you look closely, you will see by the slightly fuzzy borders that the picture is photoshopped. she photoshopped MY head onto that internet shill's picture. i don't really represent JBS. i was just funning with y'all.
Jane, how could you even suggest I Photoshopped your head onto that shill's body? I used Printmaster, it's a much cheaper program and does most of the stuff Photoshop does.
that is a beautiful dog, isnt it? now i wish our avatars could be bigger.

i apologize for the photoshop mistake.
screw all that. drew baby, you may be the hottest woman on the froggin' planet. i renounce my crush on lostcauser, sweet anni thyme, fireeyes, barbra anne, middleagedwoman blogging, sandra used to not be stephens, marytreilly. god, when you start counting, this doesn't look so good does it?

okay, then there' jane smithie, JK, who am i forgetting? i already renounced my crush on the 2nd most beautiful woman on os, natalie b 'cause she was mean to me just because i write about my uncle byron.

well anyway, i renounce them all for you, my precious. i would be honored to bear your children, just as soon as i give birth to the lostcauser love child i'm already carrying.

what was this post about again?

of course, you could be hiding some really bad dental work and you know i LOVE a woman with good teeth, be the real or not, maybe just gimme a good look at the mouth before my renouncement becomes official.

whew. and stay away from jeff-tahay. that seems incestuous.
cap'n - that you would give up someone of my *breeding* for a mere beautiful woman is a pity.
Jane, I wouldn't lose any sleep over it, have you seen the Cap'n's avatar lately?

Cap'n, PM me later, we'll discuss this further. Just don't say anything to Jane about it, she's quite sensitive.
Cap'n you put that crush back on right this minute!!!
Natalie, what a surprise! I haven't seen you since your grammar police post. Your avatar is looking particularly yummy this evening.
okay, all the aforementioned crushes are now back on. nana told me drew has (jeff-tahay's words, not mine) "unfortunate teeth. with teeth like that, she could be in the british royal family."

so, sorry ladies, please forgive me.

and jeff, shame on you talking like that about that poor, dental challenged woman.

oh yeah, and there was bowling and no one called? pfft!
nice new pic but i still don't see no teeth...
It does seem odd doesn't it, we've never seen Natalie and her teeth together at the same time. Hmmm.....
O my God,

I really did not think that you were such a bad writer.
You are just an idiot.
Why hello! It's the funny smirking cum-on-his-face man! How are you doing today you hilarious little narcissist?
That's a bit paranoid. They pay people to express opinions on Open Salon because of the vast numbers of people here?
Whilst y'all are bickering I got a question for drew.

" people are spawning their jewelry"

When people spawn their jewelry, does the jewelry just swim away like little fishies, or do they congregate and spawn more jewelry?
mark, i've been scrolling through the post and my comments to see where i said that, but can't find it. i'll have to assume though, if i DID say it and it wasn't a typo then, yes, jewelry spawns in the manner of fish, amphibians, lawyers, and other lower life forms. what else could i have meant?
No, problem - thanks for the clarification - I think I understand now? . . . what else could i have meant? (Only the Shadow knows for sure) :

"it is not John Birch right or wrong, nor the JBS right or wrong. we have WIDESPREAD homelessness coming up soon. people are spawning their jewelry. people are losing their jobs in droves, and that doesnt include all those who lost their jobs in the past couple years, as this was building to the implosion it has become.
ah! it's a typo from the post. so i guess jewelry doesn't spawn after all, though i must admit it's a charming image. the truth is though, i didn't write most of the text in this post, so i can't take credit for the spawn bit. this post was a parody of one by jane smithie, called "saturn smith - internet shill." it's on jane's blog at:

http://open.salon.com/blog/jane_smithie/2009/03/20/saturn_smith_-_internet_shill

i just lifted the text wholesale from jane's post, then, wherever she used the name saturn smith i changed it to John Birch Society or JBS. her post caused quite a controversy at the time and everybody was up in arms about it, so i thought it might be nice to have a few laughs with the whole thing as a way of defusing the situation. as you can see from comments by jane and others above, it worked quite well. anyway, thanks for reading, and i hope you're having a great day in japan mark.
I knew it! I knew it!